The Snake that Could Eat a Cow By John Brown | February 4, 2009 - 4:40 pm |February 4, 2009 Zing Titanoboa. 43′ long. Weighs more than a ton. Could eat Bessie. Literally. The picture below is of a python slithering over the vertebra of a titanoboa. More here in Times Online article, USA Today, and LA Times. Tagged titanoboa. Bookmark the permalink.