Time for some Dark God voting

Folks, I’m trying to decide between 2 book descriptions for SERVANT. Tell me which one appeals to you more.

OPTION A

The spirited blacksmith’s daughter accused of using the dark and terrifying sleth magic.

The young man who hunts her. 

And the ferocious monster who only wants to be free.

Trapped in a web of lies and ancient secrets, of right becoming wrong, the three must struggle not only against each other, but also a being of irresistible powers. A creature who is gathering her servants to usher in the impending human harvest.

If the three succeed, they will save those they love the most. If they fail, the clans of the land fall with them.

OPTION B

Sugar, the blacksmith’s daughter, is on the run, accused of using the chilling sleth magic.

Talen is determined to catch her, not only to get the bounty on her head, but to clear his people from her guilt.

But his plans go awry when a terrifying creature of grass and stone begins to stalk the clan lands. A creature that is somehow tied to those both Sugar and Talen hold dear. A creature sent by the dark Mother, the true master of the land, to both find the seed she planted in a woman’s womb a number of years ago and kill all those who might oppose her. 

At odds and trapped in a web of ancient secrets, lies, and lore, Talen and Sugar must struggle to find the truth. But will they be able to uncover a way to fight back and save their loved ones before the Mother finds the one she bred to be her scepter and return her to power? The one bred to become lord and usher in the impending human harvest.

Let the voting begin.

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14 Responses to Time for some Dark God voting

  1. M. Wolfe says:

    A all the way!

  2. Davis Ashura says:

    I vote A

  3. John Brown says:

    Votes counted!! Thanks.

  4. NDMelander says:

    Ok, I will have to go with A, but I like some of the last two paragraphs of B. More importantly, I just want to get the book! Thanks John.

  5. Ben says:

    I prefer B. It could be tightened up a bit here and there, but I got a much better sense of the actual story.

  6. John Brown says:

    Votes counted! Thanks.

    ND, it’s coming. Everything is ready. It would have been out last week but I ran into InDesign issues.

  7. 'nother Mike says:

    I actually prefer the first two lines of B, but the final paragraphs of A? I prefer names, but I think the lack of detail in the final paragraphs of A work better. Maybe use three sentences from B, then finish with the last two paragraphs of A.

  8. John Brown says:

    Vote coutned, Mike. Sorry for the slow comment approval. Thanks for the interesting suggestion.

  9. Tim F says:

    I vote B. More descriptive and I prefer the use of names. It also has a more impactful ending; the ending of A seems a bit lacking by comparison – we don’t know the clans so why should we care about them? I agree with Ben though, that B could still be tightened up a bit. In particular the last sentence of the third paragraph. I’d lose ‘both’, ‘a number of years go’, and ‘all’.
    Hope that helps John, and that I’m not too late!

  10. John Brown says:

    Tim,

    Never too late. This is a description and can be easily changed 🙂 Thanks so much for voting! And the suggestions. Those are good cuts.

    I will say that the total voting here and from a couple of other places has been in favor of the shorter version by a margin of almost 2 to 1. It was neck and neck in the beginning, but the shorter one is winning out.

  11. JohnW says:

    Is Black Friday a good day to release a book?
    🙂

    • John Brown says:

      Lol! Ha. Black Friday is indeed a good day. I’m just waiting to review the proof of the paperback. That’s the last thing. I was hoping to have it today. The ebook is up on Amazon, but I didn’t want to announce until everything was ready because that’s when I’ll be doing my big Black Friday sale price. If you can’t wait, go get it now. But if you can keep yourself from eating the marshmellow, you’ll get a better price next week.

      BTW, we’ve started the cover for Curse. I also hope to have the final for Bad Penny early next week. This first time through has taken me longer than I estimated it would. But it should be smoother sailing now that we know what we’re doing on the publishing end.

  12. JohnW says:

    I could not wait, I just bought Servant for $2.99. It was nice to see your beautiful new cover art on amazon.com !

    Now, here’s hoping Curse is out in time for Christmas!