Mitt Romney’s Body Man

ByJohn Brown

There’s going to be a novel and movie about a presidential candidate’s Body Man. I can feel it. The topic is too rich.

I’m not talking about his body guard. Or some wardrobe guy. Or, please, some sexual thing (good grief, people). I’m talking about the dude whose task it is to free up the candidate so he can focus on meeting, talking, etc. instead of rousting about for a pen or cell phone.

Check out this NY Times video on Romney’s body man.

One of my favorite stories of all time featured two characters in just such a relationship. That would be Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings. Tolkien writes in his letters that he based their relationship on his observations during his military service in World War 1 of the relationship between a batman and his officer.  “Batman” being, not a Bruce Wayne wannabe with a utility belt, but a Soldier-Servant assigned to an officer in the British army of the time.

I want a story about a body man. Or a body woman. It feels so delicious.

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    Black Chokecherry Syrup

    ByJohn Brown

    When you live where we do, you cannot hope to landscape likes folks in a warm suburb. First of all, at 6,000 feet with a min temp of -30 Fahrenheit you can’t grow a lot of warmer climate plants. Second, the deer seem to eat everything else you do grow. So we’ve been looking and I think I’ve found a tree to add.

    I actually found it earlier when I was biking around the beautiful Round Valley and had to stop and go back to revel in the delicious fragrance. But I didn’t know what it was at the time. I do now. 

    It’s the black chokecherry.

    It grows naturally up here. Has beautiful fragrant blossoms in the spring. And it produces fruit that can be made into a delicious syrup. Oh, the raccoons like it as well.

    Now when you eat the raw berry, unless you eat it late in the fall, you’re in for an astringent, alum after-punch. But we picked the berries up a canyon behind our town after the first frosts. In fact, many of our berries were wrinkled. They just fine raw. Even Lilia, my pickiest eater, enjoyed them.

    We picked about 1.25 gallon ice cream buckets of the stuff. Then we followed this recepie and made about 4 quarts of syrup.

    • 3 cups chokecherry juice (see first step)
    • 3 cups apple juice (not from a store, but cooked from apples)
    • 6 1/2 cups sugar
    • (I’ve heard some folks add 1/4 teaspoon almond extract for a stronger cherry taste)
    1. Wash chokecherries, place in a large kettle, barely cover with water and cook, covered, for about 30 minutes till the cherries are soft. Mash gently and strain the chokecherry juice through a sieve or cheesecloth.
    2. Do the same with the apples.
    3. Pour the juice into a large kettle; stir in the sugar.
    4. Cook on high, stirring constantly.
    5. Boil hard for 1 minute.
    6. Remove from heat and skim foam.
    7. To can: Pour hot syrup into sterilized hot jars to within 1/8th inch from top.

    It’s absolutely delicious on pancakes. 

     

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  • The Weaponization of Insects

    ByJohn Brown

    This idea.

    Oh, my, heck.

    One of my first novelettes was about using insects as military grade spies. Just a bit of wetware to get control of their brains. Then mount a nano recording and transmitting device…

    How are you going to stop that?

    But wait–insects can be far more sinister.

    Jeffrey A. Lockwood has written Six-Legged Soldiers: Using Insects as Weapons of War. I can’t wait to read this. I hope it’s not a fluff book. Can’t wait to report my findings to you. Read more about it.

    Oh, and did I mention that I’ve got weaponized insects in the novel I’m currently working on? Crown of a Dark God is turning into such a blast to write.

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  • Ugandan Monkey Boy

    ByJohn Brown

    Ugandan Monkey Boy - John Ssebunya

    I thought all such things were hoaxes.  Above is a picture of John after having been found and saved.

    John Ssebunya, the Ugandan Monkey Boy
    Date found: 1991
    Age when found: 6
    Location: Uganda
    Years in the wild: 3
    Animals: monkeys

    John ran and hid in a forest, about 2-3 km from his house after witnessing the murder of his mother by his father. His father was known to be an alcoholic and violent.

    John says he was so frightened of his father that he stayed in the forest. It is possible that he had some degree of mental handicap at that time and this may have contributed to the fact that he did not understand that he should have sought help from other adults.

    He was aged roughly 4 or 5 at the time that he was found in 1989 according to witnesses like Mrs Milly Sseba who found him in the forest. There is no birth certificate…

    John identified the mokes as Cercopithicus Aethiops (the common African Grey or Green Vervet Monkey). This is very significant as this is one of the very few species of mammal that lives in social groups and will accept and tolerate a lone individual of another species of monkey living alongside their group. Other monkeys and apes will not do this — chimpanzees for example would simply eat a human child.

    Read more here.

    Indeed zing, but heart wrenching.

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