Mitt Romney’s Body Man

There’s going to be a novel and movie about a presidential candidate’s Body Man. I can feel it. The topic is too rich.

I’m not talking about his body guard. Or some wardrobe guy. Or, please, some sexual thing (good grief, people). I’m talking about the dude whose task it is to free up the candidate so he can focus on meeting, talking, etc. instead of rousting about for a pen or cell phone.

Check out this NY Times video on Romney’s body man.

One of my favorite stories of all time featured two characters in just such a relationship. That would be Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings. Tolkien writes in his letters that he based their relationship on his observations during his military service in World War 1 of the relationship between a batman and his officer.  “Batman” being, not a Bruce Wayne wannabe with a utility belt, but a Soldier-Servant assigned to an officer in the British army of the time.

I want a story about a body man. Or a body woman. It feels so delicious.

Share

Similar Posts

  • |

    Free stories from Year’s Best Fantasy 9 anthology!

    Tor is posting ALL the stories in the Year’s Best Fantasy 9 anthology (published summer 2009) for FREE. Mine was in the second installment, but you can already get it here. What you want are all the others! For example, installment 3 has one of my favorite short stories I read last year: Kij Johnson’s “26 Monkeys and the Abyss.”

    Here’s how to get them.

    1. Go to the Tor.com site.
    2. Scroll to the bottom of that post and click the “Year’s Best Fantasy 9” tag to see all of the installments.
    3. Click on each installment and download!
    Share
  • A bit of Yiddish to warm the soul

    schnook, schnorrer, megillah, meshuga, schlump…

    Who can resist such words? I plan on working at least one of these into my conversation today.

    I’ve copied from last week’s Wordsmith.org emails.

    A language is the soul of its people. This is nowhere illustrated more profoundly than in the Yiddish language, the language of Jews of eastern and central Europe and their descendants. A tongue full of wit and charm, Yiddish embodies deep appreciation of human behavior in all its colorful manifestations. The word Yiddish comes from German Judisch meaning Jewish. But it is not the same as Hebrew, even though it is written in Hebrew script…

    …Many of the everyday English language words such as bagel, klutz, and kibitz are terms from Yiddish. This week we’ll look at a few other Yiddishisms that have enriched the English language.

    schnook (shnook) noun

    A stupid, easily deceived person.

    [From Yiddish shnuk (snout) or from German schnucke (a small sheep).]

    -Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

    “A gun-toting schnook became an embarrassing crook when he robbed
      a Spokane dollar store Sunday. Seriously, if you’re going to commit
      a Class A felony, you might as well rob a Class A joint.”
      Frank Sennett; Dollar-Store Thief Bucks Common Sense; Spokesman Review
      (Washington); Mar 9, 2007.

    schnorrer (SHNOR-uhr) noun

    One who habitually takes advantage of others’ generosity,
      often through an air of entitlement.

    [From Yiddish, from German schnurren (to purr, hum, or whir), from the sound of a beggar’s musical instrument.]

    megillah (meh-GIL-uh) noun

    A long, tedious account.

    [From Yiddish megile (scroll), from Hebrew megillah, from galal (to roll).
    The term alludes to the length of the text in the Book of Esther which is read in its entirety, twice, during Purim, a Jewish festival.]

    -Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

    “But the obvious challenge was to go through the whole megillah — to
      begin with the Andante in C Major, which Mozart wrote when he was five,
      and proceed to the bitter end, the Requiem.”
      Alex Ross; The Storm of Style; The New Yorker; Jul 24, 2006

    meshuga or meshugga (muh-SHOOG-uh) adjective

    Crazy; stupid.

    [From Yiddish meshuge, from Hebrew meshugga.]

    Today’s word in Visual Thesaurus: http://visualthesaurus.com/?w1=meshuga

    -Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

    “Plenty of hip-hoppers want to be considered insane, but only Paul Barman
      wants to be known as meshuga.”
      David Segal; The Weirder, the Better; The Washington Post; Jun 25, 2000.

    schlump (shlump) noun

    A dull or slovenly person.

    [From Yiddish shlumperdik (unkempt, sloppy).]

    -Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)

    “‘You don’t want to dress up too much, but you don’t want to be
      a schlump,’ says Michael Kors.”
      Hal Rubenstein; Terrific Style by Age, by Size, by Shape, by Color;
      In Style (New York); Aug 2006.

    Share
  • |

    Testicles and the Zing Life

    Diana Rowland of MagicDistrict.wordpress.com invited me to guest blog. I was happy to provide “Testicles and the Zing Life.”

    Testicles do not taste like chicken.

    I know this thing. At least the ones taken from cattle don’t. But this Nobel prize-winning discovery is not what’s important. What’s important is why I know this. Read more.

    Enjoy!

    Share
  • Hooligan Hawks

    That guy just doesn't know when to quit...
    That guy just doesn't know when to quit...

    To allow my inner Swedish svelteness to manifest itself I’ve been doing some hiking and biking. I do my own Elmer Fudd biathalon in which I bike for a mighty 3 miles. Hike a hill interval style that I swear rises up at 90 degrees. Then go back to the bike and bike up another hill of the same size. And so I face the normal obstacles–inertia, rocks, mosquitoes, dump truck drivers who flirt with the idea of running me over. That sort of thing. But now I’ve got one more.

    You know I’ve been trying to attract some crows and ravens. No luck yet. I’ve gone to plan Q which is probably what most people would do for plan A–just put up a bird feeder with cat food in it. Except I haven’t gotten around to erecting the whole apparatus. So no crows or ravens yet. But I have been able to attract the attention of a pair of hawks.

    At first I thought they were protecting their nest. A pair of doughty parents. But I’ve looked about and can’t find any nest. Furthermore, they don’t always pull their stunt in the same area. And so I’m beginning to suspect they’re toying with me.

    Here’s what happens. I go on my hike and while I’m walking in place at the beginning of a new interval, looking out over the magnificent mountain vistas and contemplating important things like cheese, one of these hooligans will sneak dive bomb me from behind. At the last moment the bird will pull up making a huge WAAAHOOOF sound with its wings that sends my heart racing even faster than it already is. It’s like someone taking a huge broom and swinging it at speed three inches from the back of your head.

    Yesterday, I saw them off to the right at about 100 yards, calling out, making that piercing cry. I thought—ha! they’re over there. But THEY weren’t. It was only one of them. The other guy was between me and the sun. And so I’m hiking along minding my own business and WHAAAHOOOF!  I just about had a heart attack.

    I’ve caught one diving at me once. It’s an amazing thing to see a bird of that size hurtling from the sky straight at your head. And I would welcome such an experience again. But they just won’t perform. No, they’ve got to blindside me. 

    This week I’m going to get a picture of the low-budget criminals and post it here.

    Share