Amazon vs. Macmillan–hey, wait, you pulled my book!

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I loved Amazon since the first day we met. But Amazon just sucker punched me, pulling my book from its shelves last Friday. As well as those of thousands of other authors. Why, Santa, why?

Cash, Johnny. Power. Is it ever about anything else?

Well, sometimes it’s about cookies, Santa. But money and capitalism are good things.

Yes, they are, Johnny. And fights are exciting, especially the ones where the one guy cleans the other’s clock, folding his nose over, and the blood spatters everywhere, and his eye swells up like some pig’s eye, and the teeth, the TEETH! It makes you want to pop an elf’s yammering happy singing head off with your thumb and forefinger, stomp his body into oblivion. Ah! Little shooting parties, elves lined up in a row, elf guts (pant) elf blood (pant) power (pant) BBQ roasted elf heads (pant) and Rocky theme music.

Mommy, Santa looks weird.

***

So, here’s the deal. Listed below are the “big six” publishers in North America, accounting for the lion’s share of sales and titles.

  • Hachette Book Group (owned by French company Hachette Livre)
  • HarperCollins
  • Macmillan
  • Penguin Group
  • Random House (subsidiary of media conglomerate, Bertelsmann)
  • Simon & Schuster

Tor Books is an imprint of Macmillan. This means Macmillan is my daddy right now. We luvs Macmillan. Amazon, on the other hand, is a distributor. And we luvs them as well.

But Amazon’s not just any distributor. Amazon wants to take over a bit more of the publishing supply chain in order to make more money. Macmillan said, “um, I don’t think so,” and the fight was on. Actually, I don’t think it was really so much of a fight as Amazon immediately going all North Korean Kim Jong-il on us. Despite what I think was poor strategy, it illustrates the real battle going on in the publishing world at the moment as the ebook and edistribution start to become a reality.

Changing your business model to make more money is a very logical thing to do, and I have no problem with Amazon trying to do it. I’m not one of those Wal-Mart haters. I like cheap goods. And I like to see children in sweat shops. However, I do have some self-interest. And ultimately there are few situations where a monopoly is a good thing for the consumer.

No, Amazon isn’t a monopoly now, but Hitler wasn’t always “Hitler” either. For his first 39 years he was Schicklgruber. But “Heil Schicklbruber” doesn’t induce people to rise up and slaughter nations. And so his Nazi PR sensibilities demanded he change it. No really, this is true. Anyway, this just proves that Amazon could start killing bunnies at any moment–don’t ever trust someone who names their company after a river. Or after Adolf Hitler, like if someone called themselves Hitler Lipstick or Hitler Toys.

I’m not going to rehash the story on my blog because others have already done it so well. So read these.

  1. Scott Westerfield gives the full story and explains what happened.
  2. Charles Stross looks at why Amazon did this.
  3. Tobias Buckell delves into factors involved in pricing a book.
  4. John Scalzi explains why he thinks Amazon lost this round.

What does this mean for you, dear reader? Well, for the interim, it means you’ll find new copies of SERVANT the cheapest at the select Smiths’ grocery stores out West that carry it. Furthermore, Barnes & Noble has always been an excellent book seller Let me recommend any internet purchasers use their site until Amazon decides to stop bullying publishers and authors.

Beyond that, I don’t know, we’re only in round one. As for me, I tend to think the publishers have a more viable option with this agency model. But I’ll need to think on it more. In the meantime, enjoy the blood and bashing and the little authors screaming as they flee the building with their clothes on fire.

Hey, wait, MY back IS ON FIRE!!! AAaaaaaahhhh!

Life, The Universe, & Everything 2010 Schedule

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If you’re a writer, you’ll find Life, The Universe, & Everything (LTUE) an excellent convention. Yes, it’s focused on science fiction and fantasy, but the principles of writing discussed apply generally and there are a lot of authors who will be there that write in different genres–YA, romance, etc. In fact, there will be a LOT of published authors there, period–including two that have recently been on the NY Times best seller list and others who have just broken in.

If I were an aspiring author, I’d be making sure I had arrangements to attend at least part of the convention. Follow the link above and look at the list of panel topics. And remember: it’s open to all and FREE of charge.

Dates: Feb 11-13, 2010
Wilkinson Center
Brigham Young University
Provo, UT 84602
(801) 422-4636 (BYU information line)

I’ll be doing the following. Hope to see you there!

BTW, Stephen Nelson has graciously offered to film the workshop. If the recording and class pass muster, we’ll post it for your viewing enjoyment!

Thursday, Feb 11

5 – 7 PM: Writing workshop: “How to Write a Story That Rocks” (John Brown, Larry Correia)

Friday, Feb 12

9 AM: Panel: “Paths to publishing: When is traditional best and when should you try an alternative” (Stacy Whitman, John Brown, Dan Willis, Eric Swedin, Sandra Tayler)

Noon: I will be attending Dan Well’s Pacing and Story Structure presentation.

1 PM: Panel: “Killer Openings – How to write a gripping, engaging and interesting opening paragraph” (Dr. Steven C. Walker, John Brown, Mette Harrison, Heather Horrocks)

Saturday, Feb 13

9 AM: Panel: “A Guys Take on Writing Romance (Male Panelists)” (L. E. Modesitt, Jr., Clint Johnson, Aleta Clegg, Dan Willis, John Brown)

Noon: Panel: “Building different cultures….” (L. E. Modesitt, Jr., Roger White, John Brown, Brandon Mull, Marty Brenneis)

1 PM: Signing. (Wish very much I could go to Eric James Stone’s reading at the same time. I’ve gone to 2 or 3 of his and have never been disappointed)

2 PM: Reading from CURSE OF A DARK GOD.

Smith’s grocery and Curse update

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SERVANT has been spotted in the Orem, Pleasant Grove, Salt Lake City, and West Jordan Smith’s stores. It appears we’re still running, folks. Fingers crossed. Please post a comment if you see it in your local Smith’s.

As for CURSE OF A DARK GOD, I’m moving along. I’m such a slow writer. But I had to yank about 50-70k words from draft 2. Just yank them right out and start over. I’ll give a full report when I’m done, but I’m very excited about this new version. Sugar is becoming a fell-maiden. Talen is becoming more heroic. And I’m just having a great time.

Free stories from Year’s Best Fantasy 9 anthology!

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Tor is posting ALL the stories in the Year’s Best Fantasy 9 anthology (published summer 2009) for FREE. Mine was in the second installment, but you can already get it here. What you want are all the others! For example, installment 3 has one of my favorite short stories I read last year: Kij Johnson’s “26 Monkeys and the Abyss.”

Here’s how to get them.

  1. Go to the Tor.com site.
  2. Scroll to the bottom of that post and click the “Year’s Best Fantasy 9” tag to see all of the installments.
  3. Click on each installment and download!

Please, Mr. Brown, I recommend you undress

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Yesterday a man asked me to get naked.

It’s true, I can do that to some people. Not wanting to pass up any chance to go native, I agreed. Yes, I know what you’re thinking–these writers think they can bend all the rules! However, the man was a dermatologist. I was there to have this annoyance on my left ear checked. When he found out my sister had some skin cancer once (it appears I should have had my skin viewed annually), that’s when he became interested in my undressing. And in my glorious state of undress, well, with a “gown” that was about as big as a dish towel, he found this thing on my leg.

He’s like, “How long have you had that sore?”

I said, “That old thing, I don’t know, years.”

“Humm,” he said. He noted some odd moles that seemed to be of the happy and peaceful sort. Then he ordered a biopsy of my leg and my ear.

Don’t know the results of the leg yet. He suspects it’s not cancer, just some random mutant growth, which may be a result of the Lizard people that control our lives and which I learned about on book tour when I was at a Barnes & Noble in Arizona telling some folks my novel was about humans being ranched, and a glassy eyed dude sitting on a nearby chair stood up and said, “Your book is true! Your book is true!”

The biopsy of my ear demonstrated that I’m a squamous cell carcinoma head. I’m going to have a bit of Mohs micrographic surgery next Tuesday. He said we caught it very early. So I expect there to be no issues. In my mind it’s like finding a wart. True, this wart could spread. But it isn’t like they’re going to have to cut my ear off and replace it with that of a baboon.

Now, not only did I find Reptoid mutantcy yesterday, but I think the Reptoids have invaded the Logan, Utah police department. I say this because I went to the wrong hospital yesterday. I realized my mistake and zoomed off to the right one. There’s a hundred yard stretch along the road through fields. Lo and behold, after passing through that area, a short 4 seconds, I was pulled over by a cop who gave me a $240 speeding ticket for going 51 in a 30 mph zone. Does this not suggest to you some sort of conspiracy? To me it does. He’s obviously a Reptoid sympathizer.

Here’s more information for the curious.

Squamous cell carcinoma

http://www.aad.org/public/publications/pamphlets/sun_squamous.html

Mohs micrographic surgery

http://mohscollege.org/about/overview.php

Baboons

I think this clearly shows that what separates us from our primate cousins are brassieres and other articles of fine underwear. And as you can see here, they want them! Just another instance of sad human tyranny.

Look at this woman’s face. These are the kinds of people who they feature in horror movies. I think this must be part of casting. Put the actress in a car and see what she does with a troop of baboons. She sits and screams? Perfect. What, she taught them the meaning of roadkill? No, we don’t want anyone like that.

The Reptoids that Control our Lives and Prove My Book is True!

They live in the hollow part of the earth. Which is probably where the 10 Tribes of Israel went as well. And when they return we’ll have all sorts of lizard people high priests and prophets. Anything’s possible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke (scroll down to “Reptilians and Shape-shifting”)

Entrances to hollow earth?

Are they real?