Anti Monkey Butt

Sometimes words fail me…

Anti Monkey Butt

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  • Hornswoggle & Happiness

    Since we now know that happiness is contagious and that a happy friend is worth $20,000, I figured I’d provide a practical means of infecting you with some mild levels of joy so you could increase your value. Hey, who needs stinking bionics to become the million-dollar man?

    Have you ever noticed that using some words elevates your mood?

    No?

    Trust me. Words do have power. And I am sure researchers could prove that if you used a certain number of words like “schlub,” “smithereens,” and “diddly” each day, you could raise your happiness level by some statistically significant amount.  And even if they couldn’t demonstrate this, that would only prove that some scientists are made of styrofoam. But we knew that already. The point is that there are some words that are so delicious, goofy, or beautiful they must be preserved at all costs. If only for their happy-making ability. And in that light, I present to you “hornswoggle.”

    (HORN-swog-uhl)
    MEANING: verb tr.: To cheat, hoax, or deceive someone.

    Hornswoggle.

    USAGE: “Now, however, some special interests are out to hornswoggle residents, and they’re stooping low to do it.” Lauren Ritchie; But Doctor, Your Name is on the Mailer; The Orlando Sentinel (Florida); Oct 4, 2006.

    Aaaah, I’m feeling better already.

    You can use this too. See: “Son, don’t try to hornswoggle me,” “That dude’s a hornswoggler,” “Joe’s auto-body is a hornswoggling den of mechanical iniquity.”

    Now add to that skedaddle, discombobulate, and flummadiddle. (If you want definitions, just visit this list from wordsmith.org.)

    Take them home with you. Use them. Spread the happiness around.

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  • Suckling pig

    This from a gal I know who’s been touring Spain…

    I ate a quarter of a suckling pig today. I feel like a monster for eating such a young animal; a rotund, content, sleepily sluggish, well fed monster.

    If you’re going to kill an animal, kill it when it’s young. It so much more barbaric that way…

    And she sends along these pictures.

    Is that not the voice of a character speaking to you?

    Zing, Baby!

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  • |

    Free stories from Year’s Best Fantasy 9 anthology!

    Tor is posting ALL the stories in the Year’s Best Fantasy 9 anthology (published summer 2009) for FREE. Mine was in the second installment, but you can already get it here. What you want are all the others! For example, installment 3 has one of my favorite short stories I read last year: Kij Johnson’s “26 Monkeys and the Abyss.”

    Here’s how to get them.

    1. Go to the Tor.com site.
    2. Scroll to the bottom of that post and click the “Year’s Best Fantasy 9” tag to see all of the installments.
    3. Click on each installment and download!
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    Dewitt Jones and Clear Vision

    Not many people understand creativity. Dewitt Jones, a National Geographic photographer, does. And this video on the creative process, HOLY COW, it’s so good I had to buy it so I could watch it whenever the yearning took me.

    Clear Vision

    But this isn’t just for artists. The principles of creativity apply to any creative endeavor–from writing and drawing to building microchips and parenting. 

    Go here. Watch the brief clip. Then watch the whole Clear Vision video. Tell me what  you think.  

    Capture the zing!

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    Testicles and the Zing Life

    Diana Rowland of MagicDistrict.wordpress.com invited me to guest blog. I was happy to provide “Testicles and the Zing Life.”

    Testicles do not taste like chicken.

    I know this thing. At least the ones taken from cattle don’t. But this Nobel prize-winning discovery is not what’s important. What’s important is why I know this. Read more.

    Enjoy!

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