Awful Intent: Draft 3 of Outline Done!

Mysteries, reversals, zing, stunts I’ve never seen in any thrillers, a bit of romance, and lots and lots of action. All set in the amazing landscape of Southern Utah’s Grand Staircase.

The backstory summary is 6 pages. The outline of events is 10, single spaced.

I’m feeling it, folks. This sketch of the story has got the goods.

One more pass to tighten up plants and make sure I’m hitting the progression points for the A and B stories, and it’s time to write. Just in time for the big Christmas break.

Speaking of that, merry Christmas to all my blog readers!

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  • Passed the 75% mark on the final draft of BAD PENNY

    Working on the copy edits of BAD PENNY today and passed the 75% mark to general rejoicing.

    You normal folks may now go back to work. For you passionate grammarians, my fab copy editor marked a hundred uses of “then” in my manuscript.

    No, I wasn’t having issues with the then/than confusion.  

    I was having issues when using “then” when tying two clauses together. The question: did I always have to use “and” with “then”?

    EXAMPLE 1: “Frank backed out of the parking stall then rumbled out onto Dewar Drive.”

    Was “then” naked without an accompanying “and”? Should I make it read as “Frank backed out of the parking stall and then rumbled onto Dewar Drive”?

    And if it doesn’t need the full “and,” does it need at least a comma for a miniskirt so it reads “parking stall, then rumbled out onto . . .”?

    EXAMPLE 2: “The tension ratcheted up, then Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.”

    Can you use “then” as a coordinating conjunction? Or must it always be used with “and,” as in “the tension ratcheted up, and then Senor Zombie’s slid to the side.”

    I looked in the Chicago Manual of Style. I looked in Garner’s Modern American Usage. I could not find the answer. So I emailed Annette Lyon, author of There, Their, and They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar From The Word Nerd.

    Saint Annette’s response:

    Your first example is correct as is, with no AND: “Frank backed out of the parking stall then rumbled out onto Dewar Drive.”

    The only time you grammatically need AND before THEN is if we’re connecting two independent clauses, because THEN isn’t one of the conjunctions that can do that. You’ll find those in a text box in the book, and they include AND, OR, FOR, NOR, YET, BUT, SO.

    The only issue in the above sentence is whether to use a comma before THEN. The current stylistic trend is to leave out the comma, so you can leave it just like you have it above. Some people balk at that and want the comma for the pause it provides. Depending on the house style guide, that may be something you can argue, or maybe it won’t be. Neither is really grammatically more correct; the comma before THEN is more of a style issue. 

    In the next example, we do need AND or some other conjunction from the list, because both sides of the sentence are independent clauses. So this would be wrong: “The tension ratcheted up, then Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.”

    But this would work: “The tension ratcheted up, and then Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.”

    To avoid the issue altogether, we can rephrase it. A couple of variations:

    -The tension ratcheted up when Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.

    -Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side; the tension ratcheted up. (Semicolons replace conjunction + comma)

    Rules of thumb:

    -If you’ve got 2 independent clauses, don’t use THEN as the conjunction. Add AND or another one.

    -It the sentence has just 1 independent clause, THEN is enough by itself.

    Thank you, Annette.

    And wouldn’t you know, I opened A Wanted Man by Lee Child, and what did I see? A bunch of then’s illustrating exactly what Ms. Lyon suggested.

    “Reacher heard the roar of the shot, quieter than some, but still deafening in a closed room, and simultaneously he heard the wallboard explode above and behind his head, and then he hit the floor, knees first, then his hip, then his side, sprawling, down low behind the counter, out of sight.” (159)

    I think all I’m going to see while reading for the next while are the then’s.

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  • LTUE presentation materials

    On Friday night I’m going to be part of a panel on RULES FOR WRITING MAGIC, and then I’ll be presenting VIVID & CLEAR to a bunch of SFF romancers. On Saturday I’ll be following that up with a presentation on STORY TURNS. Every time I present folks ask for the presentations. So instead of making them wait until I get home, I’ll just post them now.

    Enjoy!

    Some thoughts on inventing magic to go along with Friday’s panel.

    Presentation slides: Vivid and Clear v2

    Presentation slides: Story Turns v2

    And here is the fine car chase clip from the Story Turns presentation.

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  • Signing in Layton, UT this Saturday

    I’ll be there with the awesome Larry Correia. Come by and say hello.

    Date & Time Event Type Area Notes
    Saturday, December 4, 2010: 2 pm – 4 pm Book signing Layton, UT I’ll be signing at the Layton Barnes & Noble. This store is usually the #1 or #2 B&N store in the state for selling the most science fiction & fantasy. I had a great time there last year. Come by and say hello. And pick up a cheap paperback as a gift.   

    • *

    Layton Market Center
    1780 North Woodland Park Drive
    Layton, UT 84041
    801-773-9973
    Click here for store details or a map

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  • David Morrell Workshop, June 6, 2008, Boise

    One of the things I love about writing is that there’s always something new to learn. There’s always new content and, therefore, lots of cool research, but there’s also a lot to learn about the craft. I have no illusion that because I now have a contract I’ve suddenly arrived as a master craftsman. This art is just too big.

    So you can imagine my delight when I saw that David Morrell is going to be giving a day-long workshop in my own backyard (out West, 5-8 hours is still in your backyard). I’ve signed up for Morrell’s workshop on June 6, 2008.

    He’s the guy who wrote Rambo and started Thrillers Inc. He was also a professor for many years.
    More on the Conference
    http://www.murderinthegrove.com/index.htm

    More on Morrell.
    http://www.shotsmag.co.uk/shots21/intvus_21/dmorrell1.html
    http://www.davidmorrell.net/
    http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/oct02/morrell.htm

    This was interesting.

    Ali: As a Professor of Literature at Iowa, what were your experiences in academia like? Did you tutor any students who became prominent in the fiction field?


    David : I have a Ph.D. in American literature and taught academic courses: the American Novel of the 19th Century, the American Novel of the 20th Century, American Realism, Hemingway and Faulkner, Hawthorne and Melville, that sort of thing. The University of Iowa has the famous Writers Workshop, but I had nothing to do with it. In fact, they hated the sort of books I wrote and hated even more that I earned money as a novelist. That was the official line. But in secret, students snuck to my office and asked me technical questions about craft or asked me to read contracts they’d been offered (to see if the contracts were reasonable). Sometimes they showed me their manuscripts. The most productive association of that sort was with Jon Jackson who later published a series of police novels about Detroit. My most gifted student was T. C. Boyle. He writes humorous literary novels and short stories that critics love. His latest is DROP CITY. I taught him nothing about writing – he was a genius. But he did ask me to direct an individual reading course that he needed in order to graduate. We had a lot of interesting discussions, and I’m thrilled by his distinguished career.

    Interestingly enough, T.C. Boyle was one of the writers that made life bearable for me while I was getting my BA in English. His novels, well, I never finished one of them. But his short work sings. Heck, his long work sings, but there’s not enough plot for my tastes.

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  • Awful Intent: copy edit finished

    I finished the updates for the copy edit today. Now it’s time to finish the cover, format the ebook and paperback, and then publish. I thought folks might be interested to see the blurbs I received for the book.

    “An engaging story about law and order in the west, complete with gun battles, aerial stunts and a hero just out for a hike.” ~ Police Sergeant Louise Speth

     

    “Grabs you by the throat until the thrilling ending. All too true of what can happen in rural law-enforcement.” ~ Deputy Sheriff Jared Johnson

     

    “WOW! Brown has outdone himself on this one. His books are always interesting and entertaining, but this one added a current twist to a captivating plot.” ~ Sheriff Gary Ogilvie, Ret.

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  • Writing Update: Awful Intent

    Folks, I just finished the first draft of my working outline for AWFUL INTENT. I’m stoked. Lots of research and lots fun and sometimes maddening work to get to this point. Here’s the current version of the summary, which will change.

    Southeastern Utah. 30,000 square miles of red-rock desert and wilderness.  One of the least populated places in the United States. The perfect place to hide just about anything.

    Frank Shaw is just passing through. He was once an elite soldier, trained to see what others want to hide. Then he made some terrible mistakes and fell from grace. Except the old skills never went away: they were only heightened during his time behind bars. Which is why Frank notices the fearful woman in the McDonalds and the killer watching her. 

    Frank could move on. He’s got a life to put together and a sandwich to buy. But some things are more important than a Big Mac. Frank follows the man who follows the woman, and that one decision leads Frank to a ranch that isn’t a ranch and into a plot of awful proportions.

    When Frank and the strong female Sheriff from the small town a number of miles away discover the truth, they try to get back and call for help, but the rancher is on to them and sends a private army out to hunt them down in the wilderness. Frank and the Sheriff will need to use all their combined skills to survive. Because time is running out, and thousands of lives are at stake.

    My agent got back to me on BAD PENNY. I will be focusing on some tweaks over the next two or three weeks. Then we need to get that moving forward.

    Finally, I know some of you are wondering about the DARK GOD series. And why wouldn’t you be with my earlier post? Things haven’t been finalized. Soon, Grasshopper. Soon.

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