LTUE presentation materials

On Friday night I’m going to be part of a panel on RULES FOR WRITING MAGIC, and then I’ll be presenting VIVID & CLEAR to a bunch of SFF romancers. On Saturday I’ll be following that up with a presentation on STORY TURNS. Every time I present folks ask for the presentations. So instead of making them wait until I get home, I’ll just post them now.

Enjoy!

Some thoughts on inventing magic to go along with Friday’s panel.

Presentation slides: Vivid and Clear v2

Presentation slides: Story Turns v2

And here is the fine car chase clip from the Story Turns presentation.

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  • Passed the 75% mark on the final draft of BAD PENNY

    Working on the copy edits of BAD PENNY today and passed the 75% mark to general rejoicing.

    You normal folks may now go back to work. For you passionate grammarians, my fab copy editor marked a hundred uses of “then” in my manuscript.

    No, I wasn’t having issues with the then/than confusion.  

    I was having issues when using “then” when tying two clauses together. The question: did I always have to use “and” with “then”?

    EXAMPLE 1: “Frank backed out of the parking stall then rumbled out onto Dewar Drive.”

    Was “then” naked without an accompanying “and”? Should I make it read as “Frank backed out of the parking stall and then rumbled onto Dewar Drive”?

    And if it doesn’t need the full “and,” does it need at least a comma for a miniskirt so it reads “parking stall, then rumbled out onto . . .”?

    EXAMPLE 2: “The tension ratcheted up, then Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.”

    Can you use “then” as a coordinating conjunction? Or must it always be used with “and,” as in “the tension ratcheted up, and then Senor Zombie’s slid to the side.”

    I looked in the Chicago Manual of Style. I looked in Garner’s Modern American Usage. I could not find the answer. So I emailed Annette Lyon, author of There, Their, and They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar From The Word Nerd.

    Saint Annette’s response:

    Your first example is correct as is, with no AND: “Frank backed out of the parking stall then rumbled out onto Dewar Drive.”

    The only time you grammatically need AND before THEN is if we’re connecting two independent clauses, because THEN isn’t one of the conjunctions that can do that. You’ll find those in a text box in the book, and they include AND, OR, FOR, NOR, YET, BUT, SO.

    The only issue in the above sentence is whether to use a comma before THEN. The current stylistic trend is to leave out the comma, so you can leave it just like you have it above. Some people balk at that and want the comma for the pause it provides. Depending on the house style guide, that may be something you can argue, or maybe it won’t be. Neither is really grammatically more correct; the comma before THEN is more of a style issue. 

    In the next example, we do need AND or some other conjunction from the list, because both sides of the sentence are independent clauses. So this would be wrong: “The tension ratcheted up, then Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.”

    But this would work: “The tension ratcheted up, and then Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.”

    To avoid the issue altogether, we can rephrase it. A couple of variations:

    -The tension ratcheted up when Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side.

    -Senor Zombie’s eyes slid to the side; the tension ratcheted up. (Semicolons replace conjunction + comma)

    Rules of thumb:

    -If you’ve got 2 independent clauses, don’t use THEN as the conjunction. Add AND or another one.

    -It the sentence has just 1 independent clause, THEN is enough by itself.

    Thank you, Annette.

    And wouldn’t you know, I opened A Wanted Man by Lee Child, and what did I see? A bunch of then’s illustrating exactly what Ms. Lyon suggested.

    “Reacher heard the roar of the shot, quieter than some, but still deafening in a closed room, and simultaneously he heard the wallboard explode above and behind his head, and then he hit the floor, knees first, then his hip, then his side, sprawling, down low behind the counter, out of sight.” (159)

    I think all I’m going to see while reading for the next while are the then’s.

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  • Writing Update: Awful Intent

    Folks, I just finished the first draft of my working outline for AWFUL INTENT. I’m stoked. Lots of research and lots fun and sometimes maddening work to get to this point. Here’s the current version of the summary, which will change.

    Southeastern Utah. 30,000 square miles of red-rock desert and wilderness.  One of the least populated places in the United States. The perfect place to hide just about anything.

    Frank Shaw is just passing through. He was once an elite soldier, trained to see what others want to hide. Then he made some terrible mistakes and fell from grace. Except the old skills never went away: they were only heightened during his time behind bars. Which is why Frank notices the fearful woman in the McDonalds and the killer watching her. 

    Frank could move on. He’s got a life to put together and a sandwich to buy. But some things are more important than a Big Mac. Frank follows the man who follows the woman, and that one decision leads Frank to a ranch that isn’t a ranch and into a plot of awful proportions.

    When Frank and the strong female Sheriff from the small town a number of miles away discover the truth, they try to get back and call for help, but the rancher is on to them and sends a private army out to hunt them down in the wilderness. Frank and the Sheriff will need to use all their combined skills to survive. Because time is running out, and thousands of lives are at stake.

    My agent got back to me on BAD PENNY. I will be focusing on some tweaks over the next two or three weeks. Then we need to get that moving forward.

    Finally, I know some of you are wondering about the DARK GOD series. And why wouldn’t you be with my earlier post? Things haven’t been finalized. Soon, Grasshopper. Soon.

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  • |

    Wolves in my backyard

    National Geographic ran an article in the March issue titled “Wolf Wars.” It has a great interactive map. You’ll want to read the whole article, but I want you to look at something.

    First, here’s a picture of a wolf in Yellowstone licking his or her chops over a recent elk kill.  Looks real friendly, doesn’t it. Here, poochie, poochie, poochie.

    A few facts. Wolves can grow up to six feet long (tip of nose to tip of tail) and three feet tall. They weigh on average about 80 pounds but can be as heavy as 150-190 pounds. Wolves can reach 40 mph when chasing, but the use their stamina more than speed. Regardless of how they catch you, their jaws are strong enough to crush bones. You want more facts? Go to this wiki article on canis lupis.  The point is that they are large, smart predators. At the top of the food chain. These aren’t little doggies. They’re killers. And they are mighty hard to socialize with humans (read the wiki article).

    Of course, it can be done. Not far away in Heber City, Utah lives Doug and Lynne Seus (yes, that’s the name–gotta love it!) who train wild animals for movies. The company is called Rocky Mountain Wasatch Wildlife. I know you’ve seen one of their animal “actors,” Bart the bear, in many movies. The Seuses also happen to train wolves. A friend of mine grew up in Heber with the daughter of Doug and Lynne. She visits from time to time. Last summer she went down and saw the wolves. My friend was told that she had to carry any children she might bring.

    Why?

    Because the children are food. That’s why. And when she went out there, the wolves were tracking those children every minute with their eyes. Freaked her out. In fact, another friend got so freaked she took her kid back to the main house and didn’t come out again. Folks, these are wolves that work with humans ALL THE TIME.

    I know the nature programs often make it seem like wolves are harmless, but they’re predators. Just like grizzlies, tigers, or crocodiles. Wolves are dangerous. A pack kills up to two elk a week. That’s a lot of eating. But they’re all up in Yellowstone, right?

    Um, no.

    Exhibit 1: Documented wolf packs, i.e. two or more wolves, in 1992 (click on image to see it full size)

    Exhibit 2: packs released in 1995

     

    Exhibit 3: wolf packs as of 2008 (2 years ago)

    Holy schnitzel!

    If you didn’t read it above, they’re estimating about 1,645 wolves in 217 packs. And that’s just the ones that have been officially documented. You know there are more out there that haven’t been seen. Look at the one all the way out by Casper, WY. Those bad boys can travel. In fact, the NG article says that wolves stake out a territory of about 200 to 500 square miles (a circle of that size has a radius of 8 to 13 miles). They travel on average (AVERAGE!) 60 miles from their pack when seeking a mate or new pack. Although one was recorded traveling 500 miles.

    Okay, so given the maps and sightings above, how is the John Brown family doing down in Laketown?

    Exhibit 4: I need a gun!

    The map below marks Laketown, UT with an A. I marked over that the packs shown in NG in red and others reported in pink. I also show orange rings 20 miles apart.  

    The “unofficial” sighting just inside the 80 mile ring was by my brother-in-law. The wolves were killing a bunch of his neighbor’s ewes he was taking care of. I didn’t say “eating” because they were killing far too many to eat. Wolves looked up at brother-in-law on four-wheeler. Assessed him. No whimpering, no cowering, no doggie wagging of tails. Just a frank assessment–human, danger or lunch? Said wolves sent a herd of the willies galloping up brother-in-law’s back. Freaked him out. He high-tailed it out of there and called the Feds who found that pack and killed them about fifteen miles away. But that sighting was before 2003. The sighting just outside the 100 mile mark was by some neighbors around 2007. The sighting down by Manila, UT was reported in a  news report by KSL news in 2008, just two years ago.

    Okay, so I think it’s pretty safe to say that we probably have wolves in our backyard. And if we don’t, they’ll be here in a year or three.

    Go read “Wolf Wars” in the the National Geographic. It’s free. Then tell me how you’d feel with a few packs in your backyard. Are you all warm and comfy? Here, little doggie . . .

    So I’m thinking that when the girls or I go hiking, which we do all the time, we need to carry more than a walking stick. More than a paintball gun used to scare the deer out of our garden. I know that even with all the packs shown above, I haven’t heard about wolves attacking humans, but is it wise to assume they just freak out when they see humans and all run away–“that’s a eight-year-old human girl, she will make me wear the cone of shame. I do not like the cone of shame.”

    Or will it be, “Hum, possible lunch over there, let’s check it out. Ooh, look at the fat one. I bet he’s tasty.”

    What do you think?

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  • This pass through CURSE is done!

    Oh, this feels soooooooo good. Here are the stats.

    • 58 chapters
    • 205,000 words
    • I received the green light midway through April. Finished 27 weeks later.
    • Looking at my time records, it took me a total of 345 hours to finish this draft.  And the lion’s share was new stuff.  This took less time than it normally does for me, but it’s the freaking forth time through and I know the world and characters.
    • I averaged about 13 hours per week. It still bothers me I couldn’t get that closer to 20 hours.
    • This translates to a rate of about 600 words per hour, and that’s with daily edits, thinking, backtracks.  I’m not going to win any speed contest, but at least I’m consistent.

    Of course, it took me an additional 105 hours of work to finally get an outline we could agree on. If I add that, it brings my stats down a bit. But, overall, I’m pleased. For those who want to read an excellent article on writing productivity, look at Kevin J. Anderson’s “The Mathematics of Productivity.”

    Now I need to take the next two weeks to cut about 10%. And fix the weather stripping on our French doors to keep the hordes of  #@!$%! spiders from coming in. Wish me luck.

    Note: it bugs me my bullets don’t show up. Some day I’m going to get someone to fix the stylesheet on this website.

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