Go Shoot Somebody, Feel like Captain Kirk

Imagine running and dodging for thirty minutes through dimly lit corridors as kids with guns chase you down and shoot you with glee.

That’s what happened to me recently.

The kids were daughters 1, 2, and 3. On my team were dead-shot Nellie and daughter number 4. The dimly lit corridors were provided by the Cache Valley Fun Park. The guns were lasers.

This was my first time playing laser tag, and I must report that we had an absolute blast. For twenty minutes we dodged and ran and shot with wild abandon. It’s like paintball without any of the pain, unless of course you crash into someone.

Here’s how it works. You divide up into two, three, or four teams. The attendant gives each of you a vest and scans you onto the appropriate team (your laser has a bar code and is attached to the vest with a cord). There are markings on the front and back of each vest. If someone lasers those markings, you lose points. If you shoot someone else’s vest, you earn points. It’s that simple.

All the teams go into the half-lit battle room–cut up with walls, corridors, and windows–and the game begins. You try to kill them. They try to kill you. You try to shoot their bases, but if you linger too long the bases shoot you. It quickly turns into chaos fun. You shoot someone only to have a daughter sneak up behind you and nail you in the back. You flee, waiting to regenerate, only to find that sneaking daughter has followed you through all the twists and curves and kills you the moment you come back to life. But the next time you escape, and you’re the one that’s got them running. It’s like a video game except better.

The system automatically keeps score for each individual and each team so you can have a player on the losing team actually be the high scorer. We could have gone on for another hour.

Of course, me and my exceedingly svelte figure might have had to take a breather. Or not. I don’t think twenty minutes of aerobics has ever passed so quickly. And I didn’t have to follow some gal in a pink leotard to do it.

But you’re not there for the cardio-vascular benefit. Although I can see the ads now—the Laser Tag diet! Featuring Bob, a happy nerd who played laser tag for thirty minutes each day and lost 200 pounds. He could join up with Subway’s Jared so they could be geeky together. Hey, wait a minute. . . I’m smelling moo-lah!

The only negative is that the game isn’t bargain basement cheap–$4/person for 10 minutes of play, $10/person for 30 minutes. So we might not do that every time we take the family to Logan for some fun, but you can bet we’ll be doing it again.

Go shoot somebody. Feel like Captain Kirk. You’ll love it.

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  • Good Stuff: 8 Awesome Movies

    Summer is a great time to catch up on great movies you haven’t seen because sometimes the movies that are released to the theaters during this time are contenders for the dud award.

    I shall leave films such as Transformers: The Franchise Could Have Been So Cool or Pirates of the Caribbean: Johnny Depp Is Now Acting Really Weird nameless.

    Instead of watching duds, try a couple of these fantastic movies, all of which are based on true stories.

    Queen of Katwe. A tremendous film based on the true story of depicts Phiona Mutesi, a girl growing up in the slums of Katwe, a city in Uganda, who gets a chance to break out of that life with chess. You will come away having laughed and cheered and been touched in a poignant way. Highly recommended.

    The Eagle Huntress. A fascinating documentary about the first girl in Mongolia to compete as an eagle hunter—these are folks who capture and train golden eagles to hunt game like fox or rabbit. You’ll be introduced into a new and interesting culture that triggers you to think about your own.

    The Founder. Ever wonder how McDonald’s got started? No, neither had I. Who cares, as long as the food is good, right? Well, if you’re like me, you’re in for an eye-opener. This tells the story of how Ray Kroc started McDonald’s, except, hint, he didn’t. Kroc is played by Michael Keaton. He’s one of my favorite actors, and I loved his performance. This story will fascinate you, and then make you think, and then make you really appreciate folks like Dave Thomas of Wendy’s.

    Concussion. An engrossing, suspenseful film about the true story of Dr. Bennet Omalu and the tie between football and brain degeneration. Omalu was working as a forensic pathologist (one who figures out the cause of death) in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. In 2002, Omalu performed an autopsy on Mike Webster, a former NFL star who played for the Pittsburg Steelers and is considered by some to be one of the best centers in NFL history. And his worked opened up a can of worms the NFL wanted to quash. I loved this film.

    Hacksaw Ridge. This one is based on the true story of Desmond Doss, a Seventh-day Adventist who did not believe in killing, but wanted to support his country and all those going to war. So he goes into World War 2 as a medic and is sent to the Pacific theater. His first engagement is the Battle of Okinawa. And, oh my holy heck, what he did during that battle is nothing short of amazing. There’s one part of the film in boot camp that seemed out of place. Really, some dude back in the 1940s was going to do pull ups in the barracks naked (nothing but a bum is shown in the film)? But then I recall that growing up in the 70s and 80s that we guys showered in communal showers. And that wasn’t a big deal. And earlier than that, swimming at the swimming hole often meant shucking your clothes and jumping in. So who knows? We have a similar funny scene in Mulan, but for some reason that one felt more organic. This one felt tacked on. It was a gag for humor and then, thankfully, Mel Gibson, who directed this, got on with the awesome story of Doss.

    Deepwater Horizon. This one is based on the true story of the Deepwater Horizon, an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico that encounters a catastrophe. The details of how such rigs work and the issues involved are fascinating. But what will really get you is the heroism of the captain and crew.

    In the Heart of the Sea. This is based on the true story of the whaleship Essex that was sunk in the Pacific in 1820 by a sperm whale and what the few that survived did to remain alive. Back in the 1700s and early 1800s, sperm whale oil, which was contained in the whale’s large head, was highly prized for lamps because it burned bright and odorless. It was also a great lubricant. Later the oil was replaced with kerosene and other and petroleum-based lubricants, but in those days there was a whole industry dedicated to harvesting it. I watched this with my teenage daughter, and we both found it a powerful tale.

    The Finest Hours. This last one is based the book The Finest Hours: The True Story of the U.S. Coast Guard’s Most Daring Sea Rescue by Michael J. Tougias and Casey Sherman. It chronicles the 1952 United States Coast Guard rescue, in a dinky boat, of the crew of the SS Pendleton, a big tanker, after the ship split apart during a nor’easter off the New England coast. The movie was thrilling and heroic.

    And after you watch all of those, if you want some more great films based on true stories, well, you won’t go wrong with Tom Hanks in Sully or Captain Phillips or Bridge of Spies.

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  • Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover & Brown Cow Yogurt

    Wear some financial underpants

    I graduated from BYU with a Master’s degree in accounting. BYU’s accounting program is regularly ranked as one of the top three schools in the nation.

    Whoa. Go, John. I ought to be some kind of financial superstar, right? You’d think I would have come out of that program with all my crap put together, living within my means, investing wisely, making a bundle of moo-lah. I’d have a tidy stash.

    Yeah, nope.

    That program taught me how to account for money, but not how to use it. Or maybe I was just too dumb to get it. We came rolling out of school with thousands of dollars of debt. So instead of graduating and building our wealth, we worked to pay off the man.

    Dumb, dumb, dumb.

    I can tell you right now my daughters aren’t going to do the same. They will pay as they go. I’m not co-signing any loans. They’re not going to use credit cards. If it takes them a few years longer to graduate, then it takes them a few years longer.

    But they’ll be free when they finish. No shackles for my girls.

    I always thought it was a good idea not to send them out into the world without underpants. Or knowing how to brush their teeth. It’s equally important I don’t send them out there not knowing how to build wealth and reap all the security and peace that comes with it.

    This is why every child of mine is going to get a copy of Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover. It’s a goofy title, but the principles in it are sound. I can’t tell you how much I wished I’d known and followed the steps he outlines there on how to build wealth when I was just starting out.

    1. Save $1,000 in an emergency fund
    2. Pay off all your debt except the mortgage using the debt snowball (and don’t go into debt)
    3. Complete your emergency fund by saving three to six months’ expenses
    4. Maximize retirement investing
    5. Save for your kids’ college
    6. Pay off the home mortgage early
    7. Build wealth and give like crazy
    8. Live like no one else

    The book starts out by talking about the debt myth, i.e. debt is a great tool and should be used to create prosperity. Sometimes a little debt can be helpful. But in the vast majority of cases “debt adds considerable risk, most often doesn’t bring prosperity, and isn’t used by wealthy people nearly as much as we are led to believe.” Ramsey goes on to say, “Your largest wealth-building asset is your income. When you tie up your income, you lose. When you invest your income, you become wealthy and can do anything you want.  How much could you give every month, save every month, and spend every month if you had no payments? Your income is your greatest wealth-building tool, not debt. Your Total Money Makeover begins with a permanently changed view of the Debt Myths.”

    After tackling debt, Ramsey outlines other money myths and wealth-destroying attitudes and then explains each of the principles of the steps outlined above.

    I love this book so much it’s part of my gift package to every couple that invites me to their wedding reception. I hope those new couples follow his recommendations. It will bring them peace. If you want to give your children the gift of financial peace, if you want that peace yourself, I recommend you buy this book today and start following those baby steps. You can get the book for a mere $10 bucks at his website http://www.daveramsey.com.

    While you’re waiting for it to come, you might want to go over to Larry Correia’s site (another accountant and fiction author), and read his hilarious comments on some real folks who actually were sent out without any financial underwear: http://tinyurl.com/3zx9tbo.

    Thick and Creamy

    I love thick, creamy yogurt.

    Mix it with some raisins or fresh fruit, and I’m in heaven.

    The problem is that most of the yogurt on the shelves today is weird Splenda- or NutraSweet-filled crap. Or it’s full of sugar. And none of it has that thick mouth feel.

    I had some great yogurt up in Oregon a few years ago, but could never find anything like it here. Then a little while ago I hit the jackpot.

    Hello, Brown Cow Greek Yogurt.

    Thick. Oh, baby is it thick. Creamy. And full of goodness: 23 grams of protein, 9 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fat, and active cultures of more of our belly friends than any other yogurt I’ve found—give a big welcome to S. Thermophilus, L. Bulgaricus, L. Acidophilus, Bifidus, and L. Casei.

    I get the plain style. This allows me to mix it to my taste with fruit, granola, or a little bit of sugar or honey.

    If you’ve been looking for some good yogurt, let me recommend Brown Cow.

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  • The Rocket Science of Overspending

    In July, I blogged some spending 101 for Congress and the President, including contigency planning for alien invasions.  I thought I made some good points.  However, through the whole spending debate that occured this last spring nobody in the media or elsewhere was able to make clear what is going on with the US government. Nobody except Dave Ramsey. He explained it on Fox and then on his website. If you take the big federal numbers and translate them to a size we can understand, here’s the situation:

    – Joe and Susie (the Federal government) make $55,000 a year
    – They spend $96,000 a year
    – At the same time, they have $366,000 in credit card debt

    Look at those numbers again. Every year those clowns in Washington are adding $41,000 a year to that massive debt total. Soon enough, our overspending will kill our ability to do anything else except pay the interest on that debt.  150 years after America abolishes slavery, we decide that debt slavery really is a good idea. Yea! Give us shackles! Give us shackles!

    No wonder our credit score as a nation (our bond rating) was reduced.

    So what did the government do this last Spring? They agreed to find some way to cut spending from $96,000 to $78,000. Meaning they’re still adding $28,000 dollars a year to the government’s massive credit card debt total. Which we have to pay!

    If the US Government was a family, they would be making $55,000 a year, they spend $96,500 a year, & are $366,000 in credit card debt. What’s the first step to get out of debt? Stop overspending! But that means a family that is used to spending $96,500 a year has to learn how to live on $55,000. That’s a tough pill to swallow. It works the same way for the government. You can’t borrow your way out of debt, whether you’re a typical American family or the entire U.S. government. At some point, you’ve got to say, “Enough is enough!” and make the hard cuts necessary to win over the long haul. – Dave Ramsey

    The answer is NOT to print more money.

    If you do that, you reduce the value of each dollar. It’s called inflation. As Ron Paul rightly points out, it acts effectively as a tax. Or as I like to put it–a PAY CUT. How many of you would like to get a nice fat 10% or 20% pay cut this year? Furthermore, instead of fixing the problem, the overspending continues, which means more pay cuts in the future. More fun!

    No, the thing we have to do is STOP SPENDING MORE THAN WE MAKE.  Here’s what has to happen.

    1. We must write into law that Congress balance its budget every year–they must not be able to spend more than they take in except in rare emergencies. This means they might need to build up a rainy-day fund.
    2. We must cut our spending. Now. I linked to an idea Ron Paul has for this in my 101 post where we just go back to 2007 levels of spending.
    3. We must work to increase our revenues. Not through hiking taxes to monstrous levels, but by providing optiomal regulatory conditions for economic growth. See my 101 post. 
    4. We need to make sure the taxes are visible, so the American people can easily see what’s going on. Congress has mandated that lenders provide clients an APR so they can clearly see the rate they will pay on a mortgage. Why shouldn’t we mandate that the IRS send out an ATR–annual tax rate (or maybe Annual Grab Rate or Annual Tax Burden or you come up with the name)–which includes all Federal taxes translated into one total rate?  
    5. We need to give everyone the opportunity to pay for the soldiers that defend them and the roads they drive on, even if it’s just $50-100 a year for the very poor.
    6. We must send people to the White House and Congress who are willing to do what it takes RIGHT NOW.

    I mentioned Ron Paul a number of times above. He’s not my choice for president. But he has added a number of good things to this discussion. Here are the Ramsey links:

    EDIT: Mark Holt makes an excellent point in the comments. Inflation isn’t just a pay cut. It’s a savings cut, a retirement cut, a 401k cut, a house value cut, an everything cut. Using that backdoor method, the DC Connivers institute a tax of everything, something they’d never be able to pass out in the open.

     

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    One of Orson Card’s best essays

    Scott Card recently wrote “Marriage needs lots of humor.” It’s an awful title for one of the best articles of his that I’ve ever read.

    I’m not going to spoil it for you. But I will say that I’ve found that it’s the small things that seem to make the biggest difference in relationships. And this is one of those small things that packs a HUGE punch. But not until this article did I realize it.

    And for you writers who are wanting insights on what makes characters interesting and sympathetic–there’s a little treasure trove here for you as well.

    Enjoy!

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  • 2 Great Cook’s Country Recipes

    Yeah, I know–I should be writing. But I promised you two wonderful recipes from my experiments with the Cook’s Country June/July 2011 issue. There were a whole bunch of other recipes we tried that worked out well, but these were our favorites and good enough to get me to subscribe.

    By the way, I found these recipes were not only tasty, but they were great to do on a date (in this case, with my daughters). Why just eat when you can enjoy the time together as well?  Besides, two people working together make these recipes a breeze.

    Chocolate Eclair Cake

    Chocolate, vanilla pudding, whipped cream, and graham crackers–baby, is this good!  I found I liked the cake best with HALF of the pudding and whip cream mixture. You’ll see the half amounts in parentheses. That way I got a taste of the pudding, graham, and ganache in every bite. The directions make it look like there’s a lot of steps, but they all go quickly.

    INGREDIENTS

    Pudding Mixture

    • 1 ¼ C sugar (1/2 + 1/8 C)
    • 6 T cornstarch (3 T)
    • 1 tsp salt (1/2 tsp)
    • 5 C whole milk (2.5 C)
    • 4 T unsalted butter cut into chunks (2 T)
    • 5 tsp vanilla (2.5 tsp)

     Whip Cream Mixture

    • 2 T water (1 T)
    • 1 ¼  tsp unflavored gelatin (1/2 + 1/8 tsp)
    • 2 C heavy cream (1 + ¼ +1/8 C)

    Graham Crackers

    14 ounces of Nabisco Honey Maid graham crackers

    Ganache topping

    • ¾ C  heavy cream
    • 1 C semisweet chocolate chips
    • 5 T light corn syrup

     DIRECTIONS

     Make Pudding

    1. Combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt in large saucepan
    2. Wisk milk into sugar mixture and bring to boil over medium-high heat, scraping bottom with rubber spatula.
    3. Immediately reduce heat to medium-low and continue to cook and scrape until thick bubbles appear on surface, about 4-6 minutes
    4. Take off heat and wisk in butter and vanilla.
    5. Transfer hot pudding to large bowl and place plastic wrap directly on surface.
    6. Refrigerate for about 2 hours until cool.

     Make Whip Cream Mixture

    1. Stir water and gelatin together and let sit for 5 minutes.
    2. Microwave until gelatin dissolves and mixture gets bubbly around the edges, 15-30 seconds
    3. Whip 2 cups of cream on medium-low for about 1 minute, until foamy.
    4. Increase to high and whip for 2 minutes, until soft peaks form
    5. Add gelatin mixture and whip for 1 minute, until stiff peaks form

     Combine Pudding and Whip Cream Mixture

    1. Wisk one-third of whipped cream into chilled pudding.
    2. Fold remaining whipped cream into pudding.

     Layer Pudding Whip Cream Mixture with Graham Crackers

    1. Line bottom of 13 x 9 inch baking dish with a layer of graham crackers. Break and cut crackers if you have to.
    2. Top the bottom layer of crackers with ½ of the pudding whip cream mixture
    3. Place another layer of crackers over the pudding.
    4. Top that layer with the rest of the pudding whip cream mixture
    5. Place one last layer of crackers over the second layer of pudding whip cream mixture

     Make Ganache and Pour Over

    1. Microwave chocolate chips, ¾ C cream, and corn syrup in bowl 1-2 minutes, stirring occasionally.
    2. Cool for 10 minutes to room temperature
    3. Cover top layer of graham crackers with glaze
    4. Refrigerate cake for 6 – 24 hours. Then serve.

     

    Dill Potato Salad

    A potato salad with a perfect dill zing. Everybody in the Brown household loved this. Super wife especially loved it because she does not like eggs. Please note that there’s fresh dill used in all three parts. So when you shop, make sure you get enough for all three.

     INGREDIENTS

     Dill Vinegar

    • ¼ C white wine vinegar
    • 1 T minced fresh dill

     Boiling Mixture

    • 1 disposable coffee filter
    • ½ C coarsely chopped dill leaves and stems
    • 3 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes (don’t get any other type), peeled and cut into ¾ inch pieces
    • 1 T salt

     Dressing

    • ½ C mayonnaise
    • ¼ C sour cream
    • 1 T Dijon mustard
    • ½ tsp salt
    • ¼ tsp pepper
    • 2 T minced fresh dill
    • 3 scallions (green onions) green parts only sliced thin

     DIRECTIONS

     Make Dill Vinegar

    1. Combine vinegar and 1 T minced dill in bowl and microwave until steaming, 30-60 seconds
    2. Cool at room temperature for 15-20 minutes

     Boil Potatoes

    1. Place chopped dill inside disposable coffee filter and time with thread.
    2. Put potatoes, dill sachet, and salt into large pot with enough water to cover the potatoes by 1 inch.
    3. Bring to boil on high heat then reduce heat to medium and simmer until potatoes are tender, 10 minutes

     Cool and Soak Potatoes

    1. Drain potatoes thoroughly and throw away dill sachet
    2. Drizzle 2 T of the dill vinegar over hot potatoes and gently toss until evenly coated
    3. Refrigerate until cooled, 30 minutes. This allows the Yukon potatoes to suck up the dill vinegar.

     Make dressing and Combine with Potatoes

    1. Wisk mayonnaise, sour cream, remaining dill vinegar, mustard, salt, and pepper until smooth
    2. Add dressing to cooled potatoes
    3. Stir in scallions and 2 T minced dill.
    4. Cover and refrigerate to let flavors meld, 30 minutes.
    5. Serve with salt and pepper to taste.

     EDIT 9/7: Somehow I deleted four of the dressing ingredients when I posted. They’ve been added back 🙂

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