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SODG Story Edits Finished

Click to see edits Wahooooooo!
I just turned in my final story edits to Stacy and David. The due date was November 1. The 3rd actually. The book clocks in around 177,000 words.
Wow. This last set of story edits led to some great changes. Not huge ones, but nice touches. I had to rewrite part of this battle scene, and man, oh, man I’m totally geeking out about it. We’ll see how it plays with readers.
What’s been interesting is seeing the types of things Stacy and David have commented on in the text. It’s as if they went through asking simple logic questions. Did they have enough time actually to do this? It makes no sense that person y wasn’t there. This thing isn’t fully explained.
And sure enough, the logic gaps were there.
So it wasn’t the interest level of the story they seemed to be editing for as much as the details that lead to clarity and belief. Of course, that those two things must be present for the interest to come. And this is not to say they didn’t focus on parts where interest flagged. There was one comment that forced me to cut my favorite dawg scene, a whole chapter’s worth. But the bulk of the comments were focused on the “logic” of the story.
Anyway, as of next Monday I think I’m officially into production. And back to book 2, which I’m 25,000 words into.
Time for some Dark God voting
Folks, I’m trying to decide between 2 book descriptions for SERVANT. Tell me which one appeals to you more.
OPTION A
The spirited blacksmith’s daughter accused of using the dark and terrifying sleth magic.
The young man who hunts her.
And the ferocious monster who only wants to be free.
Trapped in a web of lies and ancient secrets, of right becoming wrong, the three must struggle not only against each other, but also a being of irresistible powers. A creature who is gathering her servants to usher in the impending human harvest.
If the three succeed, they will save those they love the most. If they fail, the clans of the land fall with them.
OPTION B
Sugar, the blacksmith’s daughter, is on the run, accused of using the chilling sleth magic.
Talen is determined to catch her, not only to get the bounty on her head, but to clear his people from her guilt.
But his plans go awry when a terrifying creature of grass and stone begins to stalk the clan lands. A creature that is somehow tied to those both Sugar and Talen hold dear. A creature sent by the dark Mother, the true master of the land, to both find the seed she planted in a woman’s womb a number of years ago and kill all those who might oppose her.
At odds and trapped in a web of ancient secrets, lies, and lore, Talen and Sugar must struggle to find the truth. But will they be able to uncover a way to fight back and save their loved ones before the Mother finds the one she bred to be her scepter and return her to power? The one bred to become lord and usher in the impending human harvest.
Let the voting begin.
Warwick Castle
This last June, I stood outside Warwick Castle next to a longbowman and stared up at the massive structure. The curtain walls rose forty to fifty feet high. The great tower soared even higher—one hundred and twenty feet. But it wasn’t just the walls.
The moat. Holy schnitzel, folks, the MOAT.
On one side of the castle, the River Avon provided a barrier. On the other, a dry moat stretched forty to sixty feet wide and twenty to thirty feet deep. Standing at the bottom, you’d be staring up at seventy feet of turf and stone. That’s like staring up at a six-story building—with armed soldiers waiting at the top.
My only thought was: good night, what kind of madman would assault these defenses?
The answer, of course, is almost no one. Medieval sieges were usually about starving the defenders out, not storming the gates in a blaze of glory. Unless you had a trebuchet—which I also saw demonstrated that day.
It was the kind of moment that makes a writer’s brain spark. Assassin, the fourth book in my Drovers series, is set in the capital city of Broniss, which bristles with towers and walls of its own. Standing there at Warwick, I realized: no sane army would attack such walls directly. Which is why the High King of Osson has other dark plans.
Of course, Warwick had more than just military lessons. There was a falconry show where hawks, vultures, eagles, and even a condor soared just above our heads. Here’s a tip. If you go, sit on the benches, not under the tree. The benches are where you get the most flyovers.
There was a dungeon tour that turned into a hilarious series of skits, complete with a plague doctor and a judge who convicted one of us.
And afterward, we went into the city to a Thai place called The Giggling Squid (yes, that’s really its name). The food was amazing.
It was a glorious day, and it reminded me that some of the best research often comes from first-hand experience. Although some things—like being pierced through with a sword—I’m happy to leave to my imagination.
I’m back at the desk now, hard at work on Assassin. It’s turning into a terrific ride, and I can’t wait to share more soon.
Here’s to Ferran, Sura, and Lagash—will they foil the traitor’s plot and stop the hashida’s creature, or will Ferran and the others fail and find all their dreams dashed to pieces?
You’ll soon be able to find out.
Sincerely,
John
Monks in Mormonland (and their honey)
We just visted the Abbey of our Lady of the Holy Trinity this week with my family. It’s nestled on over 1,800 acres of some the most beautiful country in Utah.
I think almost every religion demonstrates virtues we can all learn from. The dedication of these good men to their beliefs and vows to God is one such example. As is their decision to live simply. And their creamed honey blends, which you can order from their website, are delicious! So far the maple honey is my favorite. Here’s a 2 minute National Geographic video about this abbey.
John’s appearance at American Fork writing conference cancelled
Folks, just wanted to update any who might be planning on attending my sessions at the American Fork Arts Council writing conference. I’ve had to cancel. There’s been a death in the family. My brother-in-law’s three week old son died yesterday. His name was Landry. I’ll be at the funeral up in Cokeville, Wyoming on Saturday. What a very, very hard thing for them. I was so looking forward to participating in the conference, but these folks need solace and support. I’m sure you understand. I hope to attend next year. And I will be presenting at CONduit in May, although the organizers haven’t gotten back yet with details. I’m sure you’ll still have a great time–there are so many other interesting presenters coming. Happiness.
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John,
I’ve enjoyed your site. That Dewitt Jones video is great, I saw it once years ago. I was at the Life, the Universe, and Everything Symposium last week, and attended your address on writing killer stories. I was wondering if I might get an electronic copy of the handout you had there. I was at the back, and we ran out. Thanks.
Austin
austinmcraig@gmail.com
Austin,
That video is great. Worth watching at least once a year. I love it.
There’s a PDF of the handout on the site. Just click on the “Writers” category in the sidebar and scroll down–you’ll see it.