Need your Dark God T-shirt input

I’ve got a deal to make t-shirts for my book available, and I have to make some decisions. The problem is that I am terrible at making these kinds of decisions. So I’m asking for your help. Any input would be appreciated.

Mind-boggling question number 1

So we’ve decided on the design. It will say “Servant of a Dark God” on the font as shown. We might put “Welcome to the Grove” or “Beware, the Mother is Watching” on the back. It will NOT have the Tor logo indicating it’s a book. Who knows what that is anyway? Instead, the question is whether to put my name on the shirt in some fashion.

Option 1

Some suggest that it’s better to just have a shirt that has the crazy label, suggesting the wearer is a servant of a dark god. It’s provocative, and if someone asks, the person wearing it can talk about the book. With this option we would NOT put my name on the t-shirt, just a small open book icon under the title. The idea behind this is that those who would buy the shirt would already be fans and the provocative statement will do more to spread the word than my name because going this route will make the shirt more fun to wear.

Option 2

Others think that you should have your name on the shirt to advertise. So we’d put “by John Brown” underneath the title. Or we’d put it on the back of the shirt. But some say it would make the shirt less fun.

What would you prefer and why?

Mind-boggling question number 2

Because of the way we’re going about this, the color of the letters must be fixed. So the question is do we simply let people choose their own shirt colors that they thing will work with the color of the lettering or fix both the color of the lettering AND the shirt?

Option 1

Fix the shirt colors. Brown for guys and plum for women. Make the lettering a fantasy green or cream.

Option 2

Give people as much choice as possible and choose a font color that will work with the bulk of the shirt colors here: http://gildan.com/distributors/colorpalette/.

But what would color would do that and still say fantasy, or would it matter?

So which option to you think would work best? If you chose option 1, which colors?

Mind-boggling question number 3

Why is John worrying about this? Shouldn’t he be spending his time tracing his ancestry back to old grandpa lemur?

The answer to that is that John’s mind works in mysterious ways, dear Reader. You must bear with him. And you must now face your greatest fashionista test ever: which colors would say fantasy and still be something people would want to wear? I will be making shirts up for the book store employees to wear before I come to signings.  So I have to decide. Someone suggested plum is all the rage this year for women. Make the letters a nice new willow green. We could have another color for men. Any ideas of what would appeal broadly?

I await your ideas.

(Ha, look at this. It appears one of my greats did indeed live his life out in the Prague menagerie. Hum.)

Up & Over It does “We Speak No Americano”

Because today is a special and you deserve to smile.

Performed and choreographed by Suzanne Cleary & Peter Harding
Film by: Jonny Reed
Music: “We Speak No Americano” by Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP
Up & Over It: http://www.facebook.com/upandoverit or http://www.upandoverit.com
Produced by: http://puckproductions.com

It appears “We Speak No Americano” by Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP samples the 1956 song “Tu vuò fà l’americano” (You pretend to be American), a Neapolitan language song by Italian singer Renato Carosone.

If someone with some language skillz can translate, please do so in the comments.

Larry Correia & The Monster Hunter Nation

Gotta love this. I just got back from the dermatologist’s. Yesterday it was determined that the thing growing on the side of my nose was not an alien (darn it!) but a squamous cell carcinoma. So the Doc had his rat chew the thing off my face today. He showed me my nose in a mirror so he could explain how he couldn’t just sew up the hole because that would create a pucker. Instead, he needed to cut all the way up the bridge of my nose and then all the way down along the edge of my nostril to make an L-shaped skin flap that he could then stitch up so it would heal all nice and pretty. As he was explaining, I got a good look at the gaping bloody hole–it was the size of your pinky nail, folks. He also told me stories of his time in Russia. His medical assistant told me one of her husband’s run-in with the mafia in Milan. A good time was had all around. Then 30 or so stitches later I came home and found that Larry Correia was up to no good again: Let’s Book Bomb the Hell out of John Brown

So the paperback of SERVANT OF A DARK GOD, which releases in two weeks on November 2nd, started off ranked #220,997 on Amazon. I just checked the rank. As of 2:22 pm we’re at #5,686. Can’t wait to see where this goes today.

Whatever happens, I think I’m going to end up owing Larry and the Monster Hunters some ballistic tip bullets and hand grenades.

EDIT: it’s 3:29 am on Wednesday, October 20th. Just dragged my sleepy hiney back from doing recordings with the Writing Excuses team in American Fork (they’ll publish in November). And lo, the Monster Hunter Nation did bomb the book, and it did rise in rank until it did verily hit an Amazon bestseller list.

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #3,068 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#65 in  Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Epic

It reached this point sometime while I was on the road. As of right now Servant is:

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #3,394 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#88 in  Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Epic

And so it was written that the Monster Hunter Nation was awesome to behold. It’s hand grenades for sure.

EDIT: Here we go. Day 2 9:50 am.

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #3,568 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#85 in  Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Epic

EDIT: end of day 2.

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #4,776 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Two Jillian Workouts & Gottman’s Seven Marriage Principles

Jillian Michaels is, in the words of my brother-in-law, “the woman who chases the fat people around.” And indeed, as one of the main trainers on the TV series Biggest Loser, she gets those folks moving. But I didn’t know anything about her or the show earlier this year when a friend recommended her 30-Day Shred DVD workout (thank you, Mr. Dayton).

I’m a cave dweller. I sit in my little basement office and do my thing. And I have to make sure I get some type of exercise lest I turn into a great jelly. So I’m always on the lookout for a good workout. But it’s got to meet certain standards. I don’t want anything that’s Mickey Mouse. And I don’t want any froo-froo.

So I asked this friend if these workouts featured a bunch of women dancing around in fruity outfits, because I can tell you right now, as open to new experiences as I am, I wasn’t going to buy a leotard and tip toe through the tulips with them. My friend assured me it was froo-froo free. And boy was he right.

Jillian shows up with two other gals, gives you a two-minute warm up, and then proceeds to bust your hiney with three circuits of strength, aerobic calisthenics, and ab exercises. The strength exercises include things like push-ups and squats with dumbbell military presses or curls. The aerobic segments have you doing jumping jacks and jump rope. The ab portions run you through all manner of crunches and lower ab exercises. The three circuits take twenty minutes to complete. And there are three different levels of workouts on the DVD.

I walk or hike three miles a day four days a week, and so I thought I was in reasonably okay condition. Jillian disabused me of that silly notion. I couldn’t keep up. Heck, the first dozen times through the workout I think I spent half the time either catching my breath or trying not to faint.

But I kept with it and got stronger. And then I found Jillian’s No More Trouble Zones. This is a forty-minute workout. And I defy any of you he-men out there to try it and tell me you can keep up with this broad in this DVD. I still pant like a dog and have to take breaks when I do the workout. My only consolation is that Jillian and her two smiling evil pals work out with three-pound dumbbells while I work out with seven, fifteen, and twenty-five pounders.

Like the shred workout, this forty-minute workout is comprised of circuits. But in the trouble zones workout there is no jumping about. It all double-whammy exercises that have you working both your upper and lower body at the same time or doing some killer ab maneuver. You’ll do pushups, squats, curls, a vicious plank circuit, and a dozen other exercises. You’ll work your triceps, biceps, shoulders, back, abs, and legs multiple times. This workout is no joke. 

If you’re looking for an intense workout that doesn’t waste your time, I think you’ll enjoy either of these Jillian DVDs. All you need are a few dumbbells, a mat if you’re working on a hard surface, and prayer beads for those moments when you suspect you’re about to give up the ghost in a muscle-burning cardiac arrest.

*

Back in April of this year, Dr. Liz Hale, a licensed clinical psychologist, started her remarks to a local audience of more than 100 mental health professionals by saying, “Dear fellow colleagues, you are in danger of having an affair.”

Her point was that every marriage, even those of the marriage gurus, is vulnerable to infidelity–be it sexual or emotional. Individuals have to actively curb all the subtle and often innocent beginnings that lead to unfaithfulness.

“We make the mistake of thinking (marital) vows will keep us safe; and they don’t,” she said. She went on to say that couples cannot depend on love or similarities to keep their marriage intact. It’s not enough.

Emotional or sexual infidelity isn’t as rare as we might think. But even if we don’t stray into some type of unfaithfulness, that doesn’t mean a marriage will stay together. Like anything worth having, a good relationship takes work.

But what kind of work? What are the key principles for making a marriage last?

For many years the prescriptions of marriage gurus were based on anecdotal evidence and rules of thumb—on opinion. Because the opinions weren’t tested, they led to all sorts of errors. For example, many yet believe that the road to marital bliss is through communication, specifically through successful conflict resolution. According to this idea, happy couples are those that have learned to resolve all their conflicts in a nice manner. The problem is that when conflict resolution was put to the test, the studies showed it didn’t work. Marriage therapies based on conflict resolution share a very low success rate—over the long haul they only work about 20% of the time.

So what does work?

John Gottman is a marriage counselor who took a different approach and started to collect rigorous scientific evidence on over 650 couples, tracking the fate of their marriages for up to fourteen years. The results of his work are startling.

He uncovered a number of relationship myths, including the one about communication. He found that happy marriages were never perfect unions. These satisfied couples often had differences in temperament, interests, and family values. They argued over money, kids, and housekeeping, just like unhappy couples did. They had problems and faced issues. However, all these satisfied couples also practiced seven principles, even if they didn’t know it, which helped them navigate their way through all the difficulties and keep their marriages happy and stable.

And it’s not just opinion. The success rate for the type of marital therapy based on his research is 80%. He knows what makes marriages work and has written it up in a fabulous book called The Seven Principles For Making A Marriage Work.

Every marriage is vulnerable to failure. It takes work to enjoy a satisfying relationship with a spouse. But it’s so much easier to improve and maintain a relationship when you’re working on the things that actually make a difference. If you want to improve your marriage, give Gottman’s book a read.