Brown & Correia Now in Fresh Market and Maceys Grocery Stores

SERVANT OF A DARK GOD, written by the Lizard King of the Hollow Earth, and MONSTER HUNTER VENDETTA, by Gun Happy Larry Correia, have been picked up by the vendors that stock the book shelves in the Fresh Market and Maceys grocery stores in Utah. The dynamic duo rocks! So all of you wanting to give books for Christmas, pick some up when you go get your peanut butter and bread. This is excellent news for both books.

  

Signing on Saturday in Eagle Mt, Utah

BOOK SIGNING SATURDAY!

Saturday, November 20, 2010: 5 pm – 7 pm

It’s fantasy night at Dragons & Fairy Tales bookstore. I’ll be there with NY Times best-selling author Larry Correia, mega-popular comic strip writer Howard Tayler, ”I Am Not A Serial Killer” author Dan Wells, and others.

3535 E Ranches Parkway Suite A
Eagle Mountain, UT 84005
801-789-5014
Click here for store details

Temple Grandin, Butternut Soup, & Five Guys

Must-See Movie

Time magazine has named her one of the 100 most influential people in the world. This summer, the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association’s honored her with the Lifetime Achievement Award. She serves as an animal-welfare consultant for international companies like McDonalds, Wendy’s International, and Burger King. Her work has transformed the design of cattle handling facilities worldwide. In fact, fifty percent of the cattle in the U.S. and Canada are handled in equipment she has designed for meat plants.

She is one of the most fascinating people I have read or listened to. Her name is Temple Grandin. And she’s autistic. When she was four years old she couldn’t speak a word. The doctors, at the time, wanted her mother to commit her to an institution. But her mother wouldn’t accept that. Temple learned to read. She was tormented in junior high and high school. But she persevered, got into college, was almost expelled, and ultimately earned a PhD in animal science.

Recently, HBO produced a film about her called Temple Grandin. It is one of the best films I have seen in the last five years. It’s full of drama, heartache, triumph, and good humor. When you’re done, Temple Grandin will likely become one of your heroes.

Claire Danes does a fabulous job playing Temple. The movie also features Julie Ormond as Temple’s mother, Catherine O’Hara as her aunt, and David Strathairn as Dr. Carlock. Earlier this year, the film won seven Emmy Awards. But I didn’t need that to know how good it was. All I had to do was look at my wife and girls who sat rapt as the story unfolded. Get it on DVD. And if you want to know more about Grandin’s ideas, go to www.grandin.com.

Squash Devils

My wife was recently possessed by an evil squash spirit.

How do I know this?

Simple. Have any of you out there ever been sitting around and suddenly got a mighty hankering for pureed squash? Even when you were in the Gerber bottle stage?

No, didn’t think so.

So what else would explain her sudden need for a bowl of butternut bisque?

Alas, I did recall once having a tasty pumpkin soup in a fancy restaurant in California, and so I didn’t immediately call the Brethren in for an exorcism. Instead I went to allrecipes.com and looked up a recipe for her.

I found “Butternut Squash Soup II” by someone named Maplebird, which inspired tons of confidence since all the great chefs are named after tree-animal mixes.

Then Nellie made the soup. I partook. And the evil spirit must have jumped into me because I’m telling you right now that I could not get enough of it. The mouth feel, the taste—the TASTE. There wasn’t a thing squashy about it.

Folks, this is the real deal. And at least 494 other people out on allrecipes agree with me and have rated it an average of 4.5 starts out of 5.

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • 1 stalk celery, chopped
  • 1 medium carrot, chopped
  • 2 medium potatoes, cubed
  • 1 medium butternut squash – peeled, seeded, and cubed
  • 1 (32 fluid ounce) container chicken stock
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Directions

Melt the butter in a large pot, and cook the onion, celery, carrot, potatoes, and squash 5 minutes, or until lightly browned. Pour in enough of the chicken stock to cover vegetables. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer 40 minutes, or until all vegetables are tender.

Transfer the soup to a blender, and blend until smooth. Return to pot, and mix in any remaining stock to attain desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper. Say a prayer and call for a priest or someone with the Melchizedek priesthood to be on hand just in case.

Burger Salvation

Okay, I know some of you are rolling your eyes. Squash? Have you got to be kidding?

If that’s you, then let me recommend Five Guys burgers and fries. Burgers started to bore me years ago. But a buddy recently recommended Five Guys, and I’m so glad I went. They’re a national chain. In Utah, we have eight of their joints from Layton to Orem.

They don’t offer salads or wraps or yogurt. They make four kinds of burgers, three kinds of dogs, and two kinds of fries. That’s it. You order the toppings you want–the regular things like grilled onion, cheese, and pickle, but you can also get grilled mushrooms, bacon, jalapenos, and BBQ sauce. More importantly, your burger is cooked fresh, right before your eyes. No microwaved unmeat retrieved from a mystery bin. It comes to you hot and juicy. The fries, cooked in 100% peanut oil, are served up sizzling. And there are a lot of them. I ate mine with a Cherry Coke.

If you’re ever in the mood for burgers and fries, you’ve got to try Five Guys.

Wear the Dark God!

Yeah, Baby! We’ve got Dark God Tees! And all thanks to Fiction Addictions. You get to choose from two designs which you can see below. Please note: The Dark God got his fans some SPECIAL HOLIDAY PRICING! Through December 2010: $13.99 for standard style, $15.99 for the ladies fit.

ORDER NOW FROM
FictionAddictions.com

Enjoy! And welcome to the Grove.

P.S. If you desire, you can post pictures of yourself displaying your great sense of fashion (or the burnt crisp of your thunderstruck remains) on http://www.facebook.com/authorjohnbrown

Servant of a Dark God – In Yo Face

Boldly proclaim your allegiance with a simple front that states who you serve. NOTE: May attract lightning.

In Yo Face - Standard T Style

In Yo Face - Ladies T Style

Servant of a Dark God – Book Fan

For those who aren’t quite ready to commit to the dark side, we provide a more conservative front that will still raise eyebrows, but all in the good cause of literacy.

Book Fan – Standard T Style

Book Fan - Ladies T Style

Colors & Styles

Standard tee shirt style: for men or women, comes in dark brown, black, or navy with crème lettering.

The ladies tee shirt style (fitted cut and thinner fabric): comes in purple, black, or dark brown with crème lettering.

Other colors: If you simply must have the shirt in a different color, be happy, because you can, although it may take longer to process your order. Be sure to choose a color that goes well with the crème lettering.

Extra Large Sizes: If you want to get a shirt in a size not shown, you can. Just contact Fiction Addictions and let them know. It just may take a bit longer to ship your order.

The Veggie from Outer Space & The Mentalist

I’ve been trying to increase my intake of vegetables and fruits because you are what you eat, and I think I’d like to look like a broccoli—long, sturdy, and with a lot of bushiness on top. So we’ve enjoyed our weekly box of fruits and veggies from the Bountiful Baskets co-op that we pick up in Garden City each Saturday.

And we’ve enjoyed the surprises. Because someone else orders the produce, we never know quite what we’re going to get. Of course, this also means we sometimes get things we don’t normally seek out. Take cauliflower, for instance. We received a number of heads three or four weeks in a row back in October.

Cauliflower?

Who eats cauliflower? You ever hear anyone say: “Cauliflower’s on—let’s make a run to Brigham City to get some,” or “LaVern, I believe I’m going to knock back another floret,” or “It’s a party! You bring the chips and soda, I’ll bring the cauliflower?”

No. We don’t hear those things because cauliflower is just weird. It’s the stuff that nobody eats on the vegetable tray. It looks like some growth spore from the planet Xenon. In fact, I want to know who started the rumor that aliens had big eyes and spindly limbs. That’s all propaganda. The aliens are already living among us, and cauliflower is their freaky pupal metamorphosis growth stage!

Or, at least, that’s what I thought. Then I ate a serving of creamy mashed cauliflower at Ruby Tuesday’s and gained a testimony of both Ruby Tuesday’s and the weird white cousin of cabbage.  

So when we received our surprise veggie, did I despair or use it for target practice on the idiot orange tom cat that comes around our house? No. I went to search for that Ruby Tuesday’s recipe. And through the miracle of the internets, I found it. Or something close enough for government work.

Here it is. Enjoy.

CREAMY MASHED CAULIFLOWER

  • 1 head cauliflower
  • ¾ C water
  • 1 T corn starch
  • 1/3 C heavy cream
  • 1 t granulated sugar
  • ¾ t salt
  • Pepper to taste
  • 1/8 t garlic powder
  • 1/8 t onion powder
  1. Divide the head of cauliflower into florets that are all roughly the same size. Steam or microwave until cauliflower is tender (we pressure cook it). Drain and toss it into a bowl of ice water to bring the cooking process to a screeching halt.
  2. Put florets into a food processor along with ½ C water. Puree on high speed until smooth, but with some small bits for texture. Or you can simply mash it like you do potatoes.
  3. Pour all the puree into a medium sauce pan. Dissolve the corn starch in the remaining ¼ cup of water and add to the puree.
  4. Add the cream, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder to the mixture and stir. Set the saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring often, for 5-10 minutes, or until thick.

 You can experiment and switch the water for milk if you’d like, or if you don’t have cream. Leftovers are delicious. Of course, if I end up lumpy and round, you know it’s the cauliflower’s fault, or the alien’s that has set up shop in my chest cavity, whichever’s the truth. 

For those who haven’t tried Bountiful Baskets, go to bountifulbaskets.org for more info. For those who wonder if cauliflower has any nutritional value at all, here’s the wikipedia on its goodness:

“Cauliflower is low in fat, high in dietary fiber, folate, water and vitamin C, possessing a very high nutritional density. As a member of the brassica family, cauliflower shares with broccoli and cabbage several phytochemicals which are beneficial to human health, including sulforaphane, an anti-cancer compound released when cauliflower is chopped or chewed. Boiling reduces the levels of anti-cancer compounds, with losses of 20–30% after five minutes, 40–50% after ten minutes, and 75% after thirty minutes. However, other preparation methods such as steaming, microwaving, and stir frying had no significant effect on the compounds.

Along with other brassica vegetables, cauliflower is a source of indole-3-carbinol, a chemical which boosts DNA repair in cells and appears to block the growth of cancer cells. The compound also appears to work as an anti-estrogen, appearing to slow or prevent the growth of tumors of the breast and prostate. Cauliflower also contains other glucosinolates besides sulfurophane, substances which may improve the liver’s ability to detoxify carcinogenic substances. A high intake of cauliflower has been found to reduce the risk of aggressive prostate cancer. Cauliflower is also a good source of carotenoids.”

I guess the short version of all that is blah blah blah science says it’s good.

***

Nellie and I have been enjoying The Mentalist for two years now. It’s a CBS crime thriller mystery series about a “mentalist,” a guy named Patrick Jane, played wonderfully by Simon Baker, who used to be a professional mind-reader and psychic, and a very good one at that, but gave it up and came clean. All psychics, he says in the pilot episode, are either fakes or deluded.

But he was so good at it and made so much money–why would he give it up?

Because a serial killer named Red John murdered his wife and daughter. So Jane has dedicated his life to hunting down and killing the murderer. To do that, he becomes a consultant to the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) and works with a team of investigators.

Some of the episodes are about the hunt for Red John. Many more are about other cases the team has to solve.

Patrick Jane is the main attraction of the series. His outrageous behavior, acute observation skills, and keen wit all fascinate and delight. As the series progresses, the other characters take on their own interesting personalities as well. Agent Cho, for example, provides many moments of laugh-out-loud deadpan humor.

The series is into its third season, but with the miracle of Netflix you can start at the beginning and watch them all commercial free at your own leisure.