Tales From Earthsea

Tales from Earthsea (The Earthsea Cycle, Book 5) 

When I was in 7th grade I read Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Of course, I wasn’t the sharpest literary tack back then, and so great sections of The Two Towers and The Return of the King went over my head and, therefore, bored me. But, with the help of the Hildenbrant calendars, enough came through to thrill. I wept at the events in the mines of Moria with Gandalf, geeked out over the elves, orcs, and Nazgul, was fascinated with the Ents and wizards, and generally wanted to stay in that world forever.

When I finished the trilogy, I mourned–the dream was over. I read Smith of Wootton Major and Farmer Giles of Ham. Both were delightful, but neither was the same as LOTR. Then I saw The Silmarillion. It had a cool cover, a map.

Oh, joy! I bought it and took it home.

Alas, that book was about as much fun as reading a ten-pounder on the history of baroque cornices. I tried mightily to push through, but I don’t think I was able to finish more than 15 pages total from all the sections. So I mourned again, and then, still feeling the loss, went looking for something else that might whisk me away.

One of those whisking stories was Ursula LeGuin’s A Wizard of Earthsea. Of course, the fact that there was a wizard in it was important, but as equally delightful to my then puny literary prowess, was that the story was a slim thing. As were its two companions The Tombs of Atuan and The Farthest Shore.

Here’s the cover the drew me in so long ago.

I relished all three and moved on to other stories.

Time passed and I forgot about LeGuin. Almost 10 years later I was newly married. My wonderful new wife started reading to me as we’d drive. And on one of the three-hour drives to her parents, she pulled out this little book and began to read.

It was A Wizard of Earthsea! And it was just as marvelous the second time with a bigger brain as it was the first time with a smaller one. In fact, Nellie’s reading to me was so enjoyable I slowed down to 40 mph so I could extend the 3-hour drive. Of course, she quickly caught on to my scheme, shut the book, and told me she wouldn’t read another word unless I drove 65 mph, at the very least.

What can a guy do? I kept it at 65 (well, 60) and joyed in the wonderfulness of a new wife who would read aloud to me (you mean this model reads, too?!), the night and the stars spread above those lonely Utah and Wyoming roads, and the amazing story unfolding before me.

And this is the cover of the one my wife read to me.

We read all three to each other and moved onto other stories.

More than 15 years passed and I’d mostly forgotten LeGuin (I really never could get into her Hainish stuff). I was in the library looking for some good audio. And there on the shelf stood Tales from Earthsea by Ursual LeGuin.

Just a little slim container of cassettes. Why not? I thought.

Holy heroes, Batman—it was gold. LeGuin’s a master of building that feel: the wonder of fantasy, the mystery of things long forgotten or rumored to exist, the pull of learning arcane powers. I loved every minute of it (well, except for the slogging first four pages of backstory, but get through that, which isn’t too bad with Karr’s reading, and you’re into the kingdom). The first story, “The Finder,” read by Amanda Karr was incredible. It takes us back to how Roke became was it was in the first trilogy. But the delights do not end there. Four more stories follow.

I liked them all so much, I just checked the audiobook out again so I could listen a second time. And, it appears, LeGuin was busy in my absence because she has more Earthsea than this.

• A Wizard of Earthsea, 1968
• The Tombs of Atuan, 1971
• The Farthest Shore, 1972 (Winner of the National Book Award)
• Tehanu: The Last Book of Earthsea, 1990 (Winner of the Nebula Award)
• Tales From Eathersea, 2001 (a collection of short stories)
• The Other Wind, 2001

I just got the last two from Amazon. I can’t wait to enter into LeGuin’s magic spell yet again.

More cool Earthsea stuff.

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  • Two Jillian Workouts & Gottman’s Seven Marriage Principles

    Jillian Michaels is, in the words of my brother-in-law, “the woman who chases the fat people around.” And indeed, as one of the main trainers on the TV series Biggest Loser, she gets those folks moving. But I didn’t know anything about her or the show earlier this year when a friend recommended her 30-Day Shred DVD workout (thank you, Mr. Dayton).

    I’m a cave dweller. I sit in my little basement office and do my thing. And I have to make sure I get some type of exercise lest I turn into a great jelly. So I’m always on the lookout for a good workout. But it’s got to meet certain standards. I don’t want anything that’s Mickey Mouse. And I don’t want any froo-froo.

    So I asked this friend if these workouts featured a bunch of women dancing around in fruity outfits, because I can tell you right now, as open to new experiences as I am, I wasn’t going to buy a leotard and tip toe through the tulips with them. My friend assured me it was froo-froo free. And boy was he right.

    Jillian shows up with two other gals, gives you a two-minute warm up, and then proceeds to bust your hiney with three circuits of strength, aerobic calisthenics, and ab exercises. The strength exercises include things like push-ups and squats with dumbbell military presses or curls. The aerobic segments have you doing jumping jacks and jump rope. The ab portions run you through all manner of crunches and lower ab exercises. The three circuits take twenty minutes to complete. And there are three different levels of workouts on the DVD.

    I walk or hike three miles a day four days a week, and so I thought I was in reasonably okay condition. Jillian disabused me of that silly notion. I couldn’t keep up. Heck, the first dozen times through the workout I think I spent half the time either catching my breath or trying not to faint.

    But I kept with it and got stronger. And then I found Jillian’s No More Trouble Zones. This is a forty-minute workout. And I defy any of you he-men out there to try it and tell me you can keep up with this broad in this DVD. I still pant like a dog and have to take breaks when I do the workout. My only consolation is that Jillian and her two smiling evil pals work out with three-pound dumbbells while I work out with seven, fifteen, and twenty-five pounders.

    Like the shred workout, this forty-minute workout is comprised of circuits. But in the trouble zones workout there is no jumping about. It all double-whammy exercises that have you working both your upper and lower body at the same time or doing some killer ab maneuver. You’ll do pushups, squats, curls, a vicious plank circuit, and a dozen other exercises. You’ll work your triceps, biceps, shoulders, back, abs, and legs multiple times. This workout is no joke. 

    If you’re looking for an intense workout that doesn’t waste your time, I think you’ll enjoy either of these Jillian DVDs. All you need are a few dumbbells, a mat if you’re working on a hard surface, and prayer beads for those moments when you suspect you’re about to give up the ghost in a muscle-burning cardiac arrest.

    *

    Back in April of this year, Dr. Liz Hale, a licensed clinical psychologist, started her remarks to a local audience of more than 100 mental health professionals by saying, “Dear fellow colleagues, you are in danger of having an affair.”

    Her point was that every marriage, even those of the marriage gurus, is vulnerable to infidelity–be it sexual or emotional. Individuals have to actively curb all the subtle and often innocent beginnings that lead to unfaithfulness.

    “We make the mistake of thinking (marital) vows will keep us safe; and they don’t,” she said. She went on to say that couples cannot depend on love or similarities to keep their marriage intact. It’s not enough.

    Emotional or sexual infidelity isn’t as rare as we might think. But even if we don’t stray into some type of unfaithfulness, that doesn’t mean a marriage will stay together. Like anything worth having, a good relationship takes work.

    But what kind of work? What are the key principles for making a marriage last?

    For many years the prescriptions of marriage gurus were based on anecdotal evidence and rules of thumb—on opinion. Because the opinions weren’t tested, they led to all sorts of errors. For example, many yet believe that the road to marital bliss is through communication, specifically through successful conflict resolution. According to this idea, happy couples are those that have learned to resolve all their conflicts in a nice manner. The problem is that when conflict resolution was put to the test, the studies showed it didn’t work. Marriage therapies based on conflict resolution share a very low success rate—over the long haul they only work about 20% of the time.

    So what does work?

    John Gottman is a marriage counselor who took a different approach and started to collect rigorous scientific evidence on over 650 couples, tracking the fate of their marriages for up to fourteen years. The results of his work are startling.

    He uncovered a number of relationship myths, including the one about communication. He found that happy marriages were never perfect unions. These satisfied couples often had differences in temperament, interests, and family values. They argued over money, kids, and housekeeping, just like unhappy couples did. They had problems and faced issues. However, all these satisfied couples also practiced seven principles, even if they didn’t know it, which helped them navigate their way through all the difficulties and keep their marriages happy and stable.

    And it’s not just opinion. The success rate for the type of marital therapy based on his research is 80%. He knows what makes marriages work and has written it up in a fabulous book called The Seven Principles For Making A Marriage Work.

    Every marriage is vulnerable to failure. It takes work to enjoy a satisfying relationship with a spouse. But it’s so much easier to improve and maintain a relationship when you’re working on the things that actually make a difference. If you want to improve your marriage, give Gottman’s book a read.

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  • Some 101 for Congress and the President

    It’s not really rocket science.

    1. If you have loans outstanding and the payment is due, you owe the creditors a payment. Payables for Idiots 101.
    2. If you have received goods and services, then you owe your vendors a payment. Payables for Idiots 102.
    3. You pay your bills. End of story. That’s what grown ups do. If you have to float some debt for a few months, you do it. And you staple a note to your head to stop spending like a slot machine junkie. Payables for Idiots 103.

    The debts we have are for goods and services we’ve already received. So increase the debt limit and pay your damn bills. What about spending?

    1. You do not spend more than you take in year after year. If you do, that’s called running your business into the ground. In the case of the Congress (primarily Harry Reid’s Senate at this point, although many, but not all, of the Republicans were happy to go along with dumb spending earlier) and the President, it’s the country they’re running into the ground. Spending for Idiots 101.
    2. If you’ve got all sorts of cool things planned like Acorn subsidies for pimps and Antarctica Jell-O wrestling grants for scientists, but you can’t afford them—i.e. you have to go into debt to get them–you cancel those plans. Spending for Idiots 102.
    3. The problem is that Congress and the President buy all sorts of crap and expect to put it on a credit card when it comes due. And there’s nothing to prevent them from doing it.
    4. They’re like irresponsible teenagers. They need controls that won’t allow them to overspend. Kind of like putting limits on a teenager’s cell phone minutes. Or forcing them to use a debit card. When they’re out of cash, they get a card denied response from their vendors.
    5. So you set spending limits, debt limits, and force them to balance the budget each year, except in extreme emergencies like when space aliens try to wipe out humanity. Spending for Idiots 103.

    This means you pass Cut, Cap, and Balance and quit spending money you don’t have. Really difficult stuff. What about getting out of debt?

    1. You eat rice and beans until you’re debt is gone or down to a manageable level. That means you cancel crap you can’t pay for. Sorry earmarks, you’re gone. Sorry grants for nude artists in trees, you’re gone. Sorry subsidies for PBS, you’re gone.  Finances 200: How to Not Be A Money Moron.
    2. You figure out how to reduce your current cost structure. This means you figure out a way to reduce the costs of Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and every other service or product you provide, cutting those that aren’t essential. You hire someone like Mitt Romney who knows how to go through every line in a budget and turn a bloated ship around.  Finances 300: No, You Can’t Pay For Your Sister’s Hair Implants with My Money.
    3. You remind people this is the freaking U S of A. A place where a man or woman can make themselves. Not where the government changes your diapers and feeds you mush three times a day. Communism and socialism have failed. They were badly conceived utopias, much like multi-level soap and vitamin marketing schemes that are supposed to usher in the Second Coming.  Finances 400: The USA Buried the USSR for a Reason.
    4. You increase your revenues.
    5. However, if you raise taxes, you’re actually going to depress your revenues. Think about this. Which car company has bigger revenues–Lamborgini or Honda? Who is going to put out, if they’ve got Louie the Fingers and his buddy Jockstrap taking increasing amounts of their money in a protection racket? Don’t be a thug. Be an enabler.  Do what Wal-Mart does and go for volume.  Do what Ebay does–create the environment that entices tons of commerce, entices people to dramatically increase their transactions. Transactions go through the roof; you take only a tiny cut, and, shazam, you increase your revenues.  Finances 500: Um, Do You Want People to Work to Become Rich or Do You Want Them To Pick Up Torches and Burn the Houses of the Rich Down?

    Cut spending, reduce cost structure, and increase your revenues. That’s getting out of debt.

    Is this really that hard?

    EDIT: 8/1 Seems that “wacky” Ron Paul actually has a simple commonsense approach that doesn’t sound crazy. Why couldn’t we do this?

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  • Interview with Author Bradley Beaulieu

    Bradley P. Beaulieu just had his first novel released on April 1st. It’s called The Winds of Khalakovo and is the first of three planned books in The Lays of Anuskaya series publishehd by Night Shade Books. In addition to being an L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future Award winner, Brad’s stories have appeared in various other publications, including Realms of Fantasy Magazine, Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show, Writers of the Future 20, and several anthologies from DAW Books. His story, “In the Eyes of the Empress’s Cat,” was voted a Notable Story of 2006 in the Million Writers Award. His agent is Russell Galen.

    Brad is a software engineer by day, wrangling code into something resembling usefulness. He is also an amateur cook. He loves to cook spicy dishes, particularly Mexican and southwestern. He lives in Racine, Wisconsin with his wife and two children. As time goes on, however, Brad finds that his hobbies are slowly being whittled down to these two things: family and writing. In that order . . .

    I recently had the opportunity to interview Bradley. Among other things, we talked about how he broke in and how he comes up with his ideas. He also convinced me to use his picture method, which I’m finding very handy on my current thriller project.

    ***

    JOHN: In your novel an elemental spirit attacks an incoming windship, murdering the heir to a kingdom. The person believed to be behind this is a child, an autistic savant. This sounds like Orson Card tale (grin). Did you come up with this character first, the magic, or something else. Tell us the genesis of the tale and this character in particular.

    BRADLEY: The genesis of the book is actually from a series of postcards of fine art that I picked up in Edinburgh, Scotland. (I posted about it on my website if you’re curious to learn more.) I used that artwork to first generate and then crystallize my thoughts about the book. Initially, I tried not to let any one thing rule the brainstorming I would do from time to time. I didn’t even know who the main characters were at first. I was quite taken by the picture of the three sisters, though, and I knew right away, the moment I laid eyes on the original in the National Gallery, that they would play a major part in the novel.

    But in the end it was the picture of the boy with the flaming brand that kept leaping out at me, calling for attention. The artist is Godfried Schalcken, and the piece is called A Boy Blowing on a Firebrand to Light a Candle. This character eventually became Nasim, the autistic savant. As I was studying the characters, I began to realize that this boy was not going to be a point-of-view character, but he was going to be a prime mover. In the end, he embodies much of what Winds is about. The story truly does revolve around him and his unique powers.

    The brand that he holds in the painting also came into play. I didn’t know what the magic was going to be about. I hardly had a single preconception about the book going in. I just wanted the artwork to speak to me, to advise me as to what the story was going to be–from the characters to the world to the magic. The boy blowing on the brand got me to thinking about elemental magic, and I realized that Nasim was one who could do this without even thinking. It came as naturally to him as did breathing. That’s a difficult place to put a character, however. As a writer, you have to be careful of all-powerful things, and so I needed something to balance Nasim’s abilities. And this, of course, is where his disconnection from the world came from. Nasim, as written in the book, is often lost. He has difficulty relating to others in even the smallest of ways. This both limited his power and made him in some ways more dangerous and more scary than a calculating villain, simply because of the unpredictability.

    I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention Rehada, who started out as a somewhat minor character but grew into the most complex and perhaps the most compelling of my three main characters. Rehada came from Andrew Geddes’ Hagar. It’s another beautiful painting, filled with emotion. I was drawn to the fact that she was crying. I wondered why. I spent a lot of time answering that one question. After knowing that her people were essentially pacifists, I realized that Rehada was not. She felt she had betrayed her people and their ways because she had taken to the path of violence. It was from this, from that one single tear, that the entirety of the Maharraht–the fanatical splinter group that came to embrace violence as a means to an end–was born.

    By this point, I understood that I wanted there to be an aristocracy of some kind, and I fairly quickly landed on a culture that was modeled loosely after Muscovite Russia. I don’t remember why, exactly. It might have been that the other artwork reminded me of Russian Czars a bit, but I think the biggest driver here was that I definitely didn’t want something that was centered around western Europe, because frankly that’s been done to death. I wanted something more unique, and I’d always sort of like the mystique and darkness that seemed to hover around that time period in Russia. They’ve always seemed like a hard people, a people that would do whatever it took to survive, but in the same light, they took time to live life fully when they could.

    Given that I had the loose guidelines of the aristocracy, the peace-loving, indigenous Aramahn, and finally the will of the Maharraht to do whatever it took to regain the islands as their own, it created a crucible from which the story flowed fairly easily. I spend a lot of time building my worlds so that the conflicts within them come naturally, and that was definitely the case here.

    JOHN: The description of the world and your process for getting into the story is fascinating. From the article on your site it sounds like using images was a new technique for you. Is that correct? And if it is, was your process previously to have some other physical object of which you’d ask questions?

    BRADLEY: Yes, using artwork as a starting point was a new technique for me. I had no idea if it was going to work or not. An interesting thing came up when I was doing it, though. One of the things I learned at a few of the workshops I’ve been to (Writers of the Future and Orson Scott Card’s Literary Bootcamp) was to create stories in very little time using a few unrelated things as starting points. One unanticipated result of having restrictions in some areas (such as the elements involved in the story) is that it opens your mind in other areas. You’re forced to become more creative in some ways because certain avenues have been closed to you. I think it was the same with the portraits I used to represent the characters.

    Before that, in the previous three novels I’d written, I didn’t really have any specific brainstorming techniques. I would start with a premise and perhaps a loose idea of the characters and a mood, and I would go from there, trying to stay true to those things as the story evolved and grew. Although part of the problem with those early stories was that I was young in my craft, I also think my brainstorming wasn’t very efficient. I think, as I alluded to above, that there were too many possibilities. I had trouble narrowing the story down, and it led to stories that were ok, but nothing great. Too often they became a bit generic. Nothing really stood out.

    So while the artwork I used is one of a great many possible brainstorming techniques, I like the idea of challenging yourself with restrictions in order to force the story to stretch and bend in unpredictable ways.

    JOHN: Wow. That’s a striking insight. I think I’ve found the same thing occurs when I run workshops or do my own brainstorming, but I don’t know that I’ve ever crystallized it the way you have. (See folks, this is why I love these interviews.) So I see _The Winds of Khalakovo_ will be published by Night Shade books. You’ve had quite a few short stories published, but this is your first novel. How did you make the sale? Did you have an agent? Was the editor someone you knew? Gives us a bit of the story behind this.

    BRADLEY: As you said, I’d been making steady progress throughout the years in short story sales. I had attended a number of workshops, and I think my name had at least some recognition by editors, either from short stories I’d published or personal connections I’d made at conventions. As an aside, some people will say that you shouldn’t go and sell yourself at conventions. If an opportunity comes up, they say, and an editor or agent asks you what you’re working on, go ahead and take advantage of it. I don’t doubt that that’s good advice for some. Just not for me. I believe that editors and agents are at cons not just to meet with their authors and speak with agents, but to see who’s coming up in the field. They’ll get to know a certain percentage of the newcomers from their short sales, or even novel sales, but they can’t read everything. They can’t even read a small percentage of the fiction that comes out each year. So, frankly, it’s up to me to make them aware of who I am.

    Now, that doesn’t mean you should be pushy. You should be friendly and businesslike. Keep things short and sweet and as casual as you possibly can. And that’s exactly what I tried to do. I approached Jeremy at World Fantasy in San Jose (2009) and told him I had an epic fantasy that he might like. I pitched it as “The Song of Ice and Fire meets Earthsea.” He asked me if I had an agent. I said no. Night Shade doesn’t normally take unagented mss (and I should probably ask Jeremy some day if he gets annoyed that I tell this story), but he said he liked the cool pitch and said to send it his way. Roughly five months later, I got an email from Jeremy, offering to publish the book. 

    At that point, I moved quickly to find an agent, and believe me, agents will move quickly as well if you tell them you have an offer on the table. That doesn’t mean they’ll be clamoring to sign you up. It just means you have their attention. I was lucky enough to be picked up by Russell Galen of the Scovil Galen Ghosh Literary Agency. Russ and I are simpatico on a number of levels, and to be frank, as an agent he kicks serious ass, so I feel honored and blessed to be under his wing.

    JOHN: What a great breaking in story. And you’re right, Galen is tops. So to give my readers perspective, did you approach a lot of editors this way? Or was Jeremy at Night Shade one of a select few? And did you encounter any annoyance? I know my editor, David Hartwell at Tor, doesn’t much like to be approached at cons. But obviously, that’s not the case with all editors.

    BRADLEY: Well, I had not approached anyone else for Winds. However, I had previous novels, and I’d approached a variety of agents and editors over the years. Not scads of them, mind you, but a number of them, and there were more agents I spoke to than editors because the general rule of thumb is that you can approach and/or query multiple agents at the same time, whereas editors you typically ask for exclusives, even at the partial stage. I was also careful about who I approached, and when. I went to the Pikes Peak Writers Conference for several years. They had pitch sessions there, where you can sit down with an acquiring agent or editor and talk to them about your novel. I certainly took advantage of this, but I also wasn’t afraid to approach them outside of those sessions. At conferences in particular, I think the invited guests are open to being approached at the bar, at the dinners, and at the parties. Again, though, I tried to keep things as casual as I could, and I kept the pitch short and sweet so that they could determine quickly whether it was a project that interested them. Most often I got a “Sure, send me 50 pages” type of answer, but I got a few requests for fulls by doing this as well.

    Conventions are another beast. It’s a looser environment than a conference, so I was much more choosy about when I approached agents and editors. I’ve never encountered annoyance, but I’ve certainly felt stiffness from those who perhaps would rather not be approached. I learned from this early on and adjusted my approach. I would try to meet them first and strike up a conversation and see where it went. Often, if you can just be humans with one another, the subject of what you write and what projects you might have ready will come up. Try to take that approach, because there’s nothing to put off an editor that already keeps unknown writers at arm’s length than the smell of desperation. In the words of Monica Geller, keep it breezy.

    JOHN: Well, I’m excited for you. Night Shade is a great publisher. So I have one more question: what’s next?

    BRADLEY: I’m contracted for two more books, so that’ll occupying my time for a little while yet. But I’ve started brainstorming the next project. (I like to let things germinate for quite a while, so it’s important for me to get my hindbrain working on these as early as possible.) I have two possibilities that I’m mulling over. The first is a science-fantasy called The Days of Dust and Ash. Think Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind meets The Coldfire Trilogy. I’m excited about this story, because it’s a departure from what I’ve written in the past, though it will still be fantastic and wide in scope. The story focuses on a young girl who is summoned from the dust, a global consciousness that was created as the last great age of technology fell under a nanite plague.

    The other is called From the Spices of Sanandira. I sold a novella with the same title to Beneath Ceaseless Skies last year, and it will be appearing sometime this spring. It’s a story that springs from Sanandira, a large desert oasis known for its caravan trade and spice bazaars. It’s got a strong Thousand and One Nights feel to it. The novel is not so much an expansion of the novella as it is a re-imagining of it. It will probably focus on a pair of twins: one boy, one girl. The sister is sold to one of Sanandira’s famed assassin rings at a young age. The boy (the protagonist) finds his sister by happenstance years later, and because of this chance meeting is drawn into the world of intrigue his sister walks every day.

    ***

     JOHN SEZ: I just love hearing how other authors work. As I said before, after this interview I decided to use the image technique myself on my current thriller project. Images of people and places and thing. I’m finding it helpful to help the story come to life. I also think Bradley’s breaking in story illustrates one key thing: work. And that’s exactly what I need to do right now 🙂

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  • The Sing-Off, Sam’s Salmon, The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill

    One of the best TV programs this fall

    American Idol was good until the judges became irrelevant and annoying. Or maybe I was just tired of the format. I didn’t think I’d watch another singing show. But I tuned into the opener for The Sing-Off on NBC last week, and holy harmonies, Batman–it was wonderful.

    Ten of the best a’capella groups in the country compete for a $100,000 prize and a recording contract with Sony Music. Unlike American Idol, the groups represent a wide range of ages—from kids in high school to older adults—and backgrounds. They don’t use any instruments, just their voices, to sing incredible arrangements of modern songs with percussion, bass, and lovely vocals. This ain’t no choir music. And unlike American Idol, the judges actually have interesting and useful things to say. Also unlike American Idol, the judges eliminate the groups until three are left. Only then do the rest of get to call in and vote.

    We were glued to the TV watching each episode. The programs are all two hours long, but move like lightening. Our favorite groups at this point are Committed and The Backbeats.

    This whole show runs a total of three weeks, one episode each on Monday and Wednesday. It started last week, continues this, and finishes next week. Some of you might be depressed, feeling you’ve already missed it.

    Not so! You can watch all of the full episodes online at www.nbc.com/sing-off/ (with fewer commercials). Then tune in for the grand finale. I can’t wait. 

    Are you kidding? From a can?

    Canned tuna fish is one of those un-meats. It doesn’t taste like fish. It doesn’t taste like chicken. I guess the all-white albacore is okay. But tuna’s not one of those spectacular foods I crave.

    So you’d think, as I strolled the isles of Sam’s Club, that I would have passed up the canned Member’s Mark Atlantic Salmon. But one of my wild culinary urges, the ones that rarely pan out, overtook me.

    I purchased a pack of five, seven-ounce cans for $11.88. I brought the pack home put it on the shelf and didn’t dare open it. What was I thinking?

    Canned salmon? Canned meat?! When was the last time you had a steak out of a can?

    It couldn’t be good.

    Of course, my sensible hesitations only last so long. I broke down one afternoon when the cupboards were bare. I saw the salmon and thought that it might go well with a salad and baked potato.

    I opened the can. It was pink, like the trout I used to catch and immediately fry when I went camping as a boy. I tasted it. And it tasted like .  .  . fish. Real fish. The light delicious taste of those trout I caught so many years ago.

    I enjoyed a wonderful meal that day and have had several repeats since. Boneless, skinless filets in water, packed with omega-3 fats, all grown on fish farms in Chile. 

    Great movie set in Wales

    I enjoy Hugh Grant as an actor. I loved him in Sense & Sensibility with Emma Thompson, one of my most favorite movies ever. And so I was curious about another movie with Grant that received two thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert. It’s called The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain.

    The setup is unusual. In 1917, with the war still raging in Europe, two English cartographers visit the small South Wales village to measure what is claimed to be the “first mountain inside of Wales.” The villagers are proud of their “mountain,” but become alarmed when the Englishmen measure it and find it’s not a mountain but a hill. The villagers are determined not to lose their status. Especially not to two Englishmen. What follows is good humor, drama, and a bit of romantic comedy. I think you’ll fall in love with the characters. It’s a wonderful tale. And it’s on DVD.

    As a little bonus, here are the opening lines, given to us by two narrators.

    “Narrator: For some odd reason, lost in the mists of time, there’s an extraordinary shortage of last names in Wales. Almost everyone seems to be a Williams, a Jones, or an Evans. To avoid widespread confusion, Welsh people often add an occupation to a name. For example, there was Williams the Petroleum, and Williams the Death. There was Jones the Bottle, and Jones the Prize Cabbage… which described his hobby and his personality. Evans the Bacon, and Evans the End of the World. But one man’s name was a puzzle, and it wasn’t until I was 10 years old that I asked my grandfather about the man with the longest and most enigmatic name of all.

    “Grandfather: The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain? Now there’s a long name for you. And a long story. You are not going to fidget, are you? For this is a story… an epic story. Yes, epic.”

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  • The Road by Cormac McCarthy

    If I’d known Cormac McCarthy’s The Road had won a Pulitzer Prize in 2007, I might not have picked it up. So many books that have won the award just bore my underpowered literary sensibilities to death. Luckily, I’d listened to McCarthy’s All The Pretty Horses a few years ago and enjoyed it. So when I saw the audio book, performed by Tom Stechschulte, in the library I checked it out. I’m so glad I did.

    The story is set in the Eastern US (although you don’t learn that into well into the book, and then only by one reference to them traveling through “the Piedmont”) years after a holocaust (meteor, nuclear, a caldera–it’s not ever really confirmed) and the resulting choas that turns America in a bleak place of ash and death. A father and son travel a mostly deserted road south to warmer weather, pushing a grocery cart with their few belongings. The father’s sick; he might be dying. And if he dies, we know the boy will die too because there’s nothing to eat but tins of what they can scavenge from houses that were ransacked and abandoned years before. And because others who survived have turned to hunting and eating people.

    This is an incredible story about the relationship between this father and son and the dangers they face. McCarthy tells the story in plain detail. In fact, his understatement and attention to detail in this terrible landscape make it all the more powerful. Stechschulte’s reading is perfect.

    The film is due out in 2009 and features Viggo Mortensen. But I wouldn’t wait for the movie if I were you. I’d get the book now. Or the recording. I couldn’t put this tale down. I’m betting you won’t be able to either.

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  • Top 200 YA Authors of 2010

    On Thursday I posted the top 200 YA  novels of 2010. Today I’m happy to share the top 200 authors. You might be wondering: if we already have a top 200, why post this? Because yesterday was about individual titles. Today’s post is about authors. Some authors might not have any books that are checked out in huge numbers. But because they have a lot of books available, the numbers of checkouts they do have add up. Yesterday’s list showed you the volume for individual books. Today’s list shows you the volume for each author. You’ll see it does result in a different ranking.

    This list is based on the same dataset as the previous list. And so while I can’t claim it represents the top YA authors for the whole United States, it does show who is being read in this neck of the woods. It’s a great list for those wanting to find YA authors to try.  Please be aware that these are YA books as defined by the library, which takes its cue from places like Booklist and School Library Journal. Other books like the first three Harry Potters, Brandon Mull’s Fablehaven series, and some of Dashner’s stuff are considered Middle Grade and so do not appear on this list. Later, I might do a combined list.

    There were 1,283 authors on the list. “Times Checked Out” is the sum of all the times any of the author’s books were checked out. “Number of Titles” is the number of different titles the author has that were checked out. “Avg Check Outs per Title” is the average number of times each title was checked out. “%” is percentage of total checkouts. Rank is rank. Another way to sort this would be by the Avg Check Outs per Title to see who’s getting the highest number of readers per book. But I’ll let you fiddle with that on your own. Again, I’m very happy to see a number of Utahans on the list. Kudos to the following (ranking in parentheses):

    • Stephenie Meyer (4)
    • Shannon Hale (5)
    • Jessica Day George (10)
    • Chris Heimerdinger (18)
    • Jack Weyland (38)
    • Lisa Mangum (55)
    • Mette Ivie Harrison (56)
    • Aprilynne Pike (71)
    • Brandon Sanderson (73)
    • Ally Condie (82)
    • James Dashner (94)
    • Bree Despain (110)

    EDIT: 1/15/2011 12:57 AM. Okay, okay here’s the list by average checkout: Top 200 YA Authors of 2010, Part 2. A number of people drop off, new names appear, and positions shuffle.

    EDIT: 1/16/2011 9:32 AM: Informed that Bree Despain is also a Utah author.

    The List

    Author Times Checked Out Number of Titles Avg Check Outs per Title % Rank
    Rick Riordan 989 8 124 2.68% 1
    Suzanne Collins 888 3 296 2.98% 2
    Tamora Pierce 634 26 24 1.60% 3
    Stephenie Meyer 529 5 106 1.56% 4
    Shannon Hale 517 6 86 0.96% 5
    John Flanagan 413 9 46 0.93% 6
    Meg Cabot 396 37 11 0.58% 7
    P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast 393 7 56 0.37% 8
    Scott Westerfeld 354 12 30 1.19% 9
    Jessica Day George 328 6 55 0.99% 10
    D.J. MacHale 328 15 22 0.32% 11
    L.J. Smith 326 22 15 0.15% 12
    J.K. Rowling 318 4 80 0.30% 13
    Darren Shan 313 24 13 0.14% 14
    Cassandra Clare 309 4 77 1.25% 15
    Lisi Harrison 304 23 13 0.40% 16
    Eoin Colfer 302 11 27 0.13% 17
    Chris Heimerdinger 280 16 18 0.50% 18
    Cameron Dokey 271 9 30 0.74% 19
    Anthony Horowitz 260 24 11 0.46% 20
    James Patterson 257 8 32 0.23% 21
    Angie Sage 246 6 41 0.11% 22
    Joseph Delaney 240 9 27 0.33% 23
    Richelle Mead 202 6 34 0.21% 24
    Christopher Paolini 191 3 64 0.10% 25
    Alyson Noel 188 9 21 0.10% 26
    Garth Nix 182 11 17 0.21% 27
    Sara Shepard 181 8 23 0.41% 28
    Hilari Bell 178 12 15 0.10% 29
    Michael Scott 165 4 41 0.61% 30
    Gary Paulsen 163 26 6 0.20% 31
    Ellen Schreiber 160 9 18 0.20% 32
    Patricia C. Wrede 158 9 18 0.78% 33
    Frewin Jones 155 8 19 0.19% 34
    Melissa de la Cruz 154 7 22 0.28% 35
    Maggie Stiefvater 153 4 38 0.09% 36
    Ally Carter 152 5 30 0.37% 37
    Jack Weyland 151 11 14 0.09% 38
    Suzanne Weyn 150 8 19 0.09% 39
    Sarah Dessen 150 9 17 0.37% 40
    Margaret Peterson Haddix 144 8 18 0.46% 41
    Libba Bray 136 4 34 0.82% 42
    Rachel Caine 134 9 15 0.09% 43
    R.L. Stine 132 43 3 0.09% 44
    Caroline B. Cooney 132 30 4 1.07% 45
    Kelley Armstrong 131 3 44 0.27% 46
    Gerald Morris 129 10 13 0.09% 47
    Diana Wynne Jones 128 6 21 0.26% 48
    Jean Ferris 127 13 10 0.17% 49
    Anna Godbersen 127 5 25 0.17% 50
    Cecily von Ziegesar 126 24 5 0.17% 51
    Janette Rallison 125 10 13 0.08% 52
    Markus Zusak 124 4 31 0.08% 53
    Lurlene McDaniel 124 47 3 0.17% 54
    Lisa Mangum 124 2 62 0.91% 55
    Mette Ivie Harrison 123 4 31 0.08% 56
    Ann Rinaldi 119 31 4 0.72% 57
    Kate Brian 118 21 6 0.08% 58
    Carolyn Meyer 115 12 10 0.08% 59
    Cinda Williams Chima 113 5 23 0.38% 60
    Amelia Atwater-Rhodes 112 11 10 0.08% 61
    Frank Beddor 110 3 37 0.08% 62
    Heather Brewer 108 5 22 0.08% 63
    Laurie Halse Anderson 108 8 14 0.30% 64
    Herbie Brennan 106 5 21 0.30% 65
    Kristin Cashore 105 2 53 1.91% 66
    Robin McKinley 105 6 18 0.07% 67
    R.D. Henham 104 7 15 0.21% 68
    Donna Jo Napoli 104 15 7 0.14% 69
    Catherine Jinks 101 10 10 0.21% 70
    Aprilynne Pike 101 2 51 0.21% 71
    Louise Rennison 101 10 10 0.55% 72
    Brandon Sanderson 100 4 25 0.34% 73
    Debbie Viguie 100 6 17 0.46% 74
    Melissa Marr 99 4 25 0.07% 75
    Catherine Fisher 98 8 12 0.13% 76
    Jonathan Stroud 97 6 16 0.99% 77
    Lauren Brooke 95 26 4 0.33% 78
    L.A. Meyer 95 8 12 0.13% 79
    Lisa McMann 94 3 31 0.13% 80
    Simone Elkeles 93 7 13 0.39% 81
    Ally Condie 93 6 16 0.32% 82
    Lynne Ewing 91 18 5 0.06% 83
    Donita K. Paul 90 6 15 0.06% 84
    Carrie Jones 88 3 29 0.06% 85
    Lois Lowry 86 3 29 0.06% 86
    Kenneth Oppel 80 4 20 0.19% 87
    Mary Hoffman 79 7 11 0.06% 88
    Philip Reeve 78 9 9 0.57% 89
    Jen Calonita 78 6 13 0.12% 90
    Holly Black 78 5 16 0.12% 91
    Laurie Faria Stolarz 76 7 11 0.06% 92
    Catherine Gilbert Murdock 76 4 19 0.24% 93
    James Dashner 75 2 38 0.06% 94
    Diane Duane 75 9 8 0.06% 95
    Philip Pullman 73 9 8 0.18% 96
    Gordon Korman 72 16 5 0.18% 97
    Neal Shusterman 72 9 8 0.47% 98
    Jerry Spinelli 72 8 9 0.17% 99
    Jane Yolen 71 14 5 0.06% 100
    N.D. Wilson 70 3 23 0.23% 101
    Ellen Hopkins 70 6 12 0.06% 102
    Carrie Ryan 69 2 35 0.45% 103
    Becca Fitzpatrick 68 2 34 0.05% 104
    Lesley Livingston 68 3 23 0.05% 105
    Esther Friesner 68 6 11 0.05% 106
    Megan Whalen Turner 68 4 17 0.43% 107
    Alex Flinn 68 3 23 0.48% 108
    Elizabeth Knox 67 2 34 0.48% 109
    Bree Despain 66 2 33 0.32% 110
    Bryan Davis 66 8 8 0.11% 111
    Patrick Carman 66 5 13 0.84% 112
    Nancy Werlin 65 6 11 0.05% 113
    Ann Brashares 64 4 16 0.05% 114
    K.A. Applegate 64 18 4 0.05% 115
    Rachel Cohn 64 9 7 0.05% 116
    Linda Buckley-Archer 63 3 21 0.05% 117
    Cornelia Funke 63 2 32 0.05% 118
    Ted Dekker 62 7 9 0.05% 119
    Vivian Vande Velde 62 13 5 0.21% 120
    Nancy Springer 62 7 9 0.05% 121
    Carolyn Keene 61 49 1 0.15% 122
    Kieran Scott 60 6 10 0.10% 123
    Robin Palmer 59 3 20 0.45% 124
    Claudia Gray 59 3 20 0.30% 125
    Victoria Hanley 58 4 15 0.55% 126
    Carl Hiaasen 58 3 19 0.15% 127
    Philip Pullman  57 2 29 0.15% 128
    Lauren Kate 57 2 29 0.29% 129
    Marilyn Kaye 57 29 2 0.05% 130
    Lili St. Crow 56 2 28 0.14% 131
    Sharon Shinn 56 5 11 0.05% 132
    T.A. Barron 55 6 9 0.05% 133
    Marissa Doyle 55 2 28 0.05% 134
    Celia Rees 54 6 9 0.05% 135
    Alane Ferguson 54 6 9 0.05% 136
    Ridley Pearson 54 4 14 0.05% 137
    Elizabeth Scott 54 4 14 0.05% 138
    Clare B. Dunkle 53 6 9 0.05% 139
    Jaclyn Moriarty 52 4 13 0.05% 140
    James A. Owen 52 4 13 0.05% 141
    Justin Somper 52 5 10 0.05% 142
    David Klass 52 11 5 0.19% 143
    E. Lockhart 51 6 9 0.24% 144
    Cornelia Funke  51 1 51 0.09% 145
    Rachel Vail 51 3 17 0.28% 146
    Susan Beth Pfeffer 49 4 12 0.09% 147
    Rachel Vincent 49 3 16 0.14% 148
    K.M. Grant 49 7 7 0.27% 149
    Michael Grant 49 3 16 0.14% 150
    Maureen Johnson 48 4 12 0.05% 151
    Terry Pratchett 48 5 10 0.05% 152
    Kay Lynn Mangum 48 3 16 0.05% 153
    Sarah Mlynowski 48 5 10 0.05% 154
    Judy Blundell 48 1 48 0.05% 155
    Wayne Thomas Batson 48 7 7 0.05% 156
    Christopher Pike 47 19 2 0.05% 157
    David Lubar 47 8 6 0.05% 158
    Janet Lee Carey 46 3 15 0.40% 159
    Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl 46 2 23 0.31% 160
    Lene Kaaberbol 45 4 11 0.54% 161
    Alison Croggon 45 4 11 0.98% 162
    Tera Lynn Childs 45 3 15 0.13% 163
    Lois Duncan 45 13 3 0.13% 164
    Carol Lynch Williams 44 3 15 0.09% 165
    Louis Sachar 44 2 22 0.17% 166
    Laini Taylor 44 3 15 0.13% 167
    Martha Finley 44 14 3 0.08% 168
    Kimberly Pauley 43 2 22 0.04% 169
    John Grisham  43 1 43 0.04% 170
    Beth Fantaskey 43 2 22 0.04% 171
    Guillaume Prevost 43 3 14 0.08% 172
    Margaret Mahy 43 5 9 0.04% 173
    A.J. Butcher 42 5 8 0.04% 174
    Lauren Conrad 42 3 14 0.04% 175
    Justine Larbalestier 42 5 8 0.04% 176
    Deb Caletti 42 4 11 0.13% 177
    Joan Lowery Nixon 42 16 3 0.04% 178
    Aimee Friedman 42 3 14 0.04% 179
    Gloria Whelan 41 10 4 0.04% 180
    Anne Osterlund 41 2 21 0.04% 181
    Philip Caveney 41 3 14 0.04% 182
    Eva Ibbotson 41 2 21 0.04% 183
    Michael Carroll 41 3 14 0.04% 184
    Francine Pascal 40 14 3 0.04% 185
    Walter Dean Myers 40 11 4 0.13% 186
    Gillian Shields 40 3 13 0.08% 187
    Isobelle Carmody 40 7 6 0.46% 188
    Fuyumi Ono  40 4 10 0.12% 189
    Stuart Hill 39 3 13 0.12% 190
    William Sleator 39 14 3 0.08% 191
    Michael Cadnum 38 11 3 0.08% 192
    Timothy Zahn 38 6 6 0.16% 193
    Sharon M. Draper 38 9 4 0.16% 194
    Peter Abrahams 37 5 7 0.33% 195
    Madeline L’Engle 37 11 3 0.12% 196
    Jenny B. Jones 37 3 12 0.28% 197
    Kimberly Derting 37 1 37 0.92% 198
    William Nicholson 37 3 12 0.20% 199
    Susane Colasanti 36 3 12 0.94% 200
    Ben Mikaelsen 36 5 7 0.08% 201
    Jacquelyn Mitchard 36 5 7 0.08% 202
    Richard Peck 36 9 4 0.04% 203
    Tim Green 36 6 6 0.04% 204
    Marilyn Reynolds 36 8 5 0.04% 205
    Sarah Miller 36 3 12 0.04% 206
    Sara Zarr 36 3 12 0.04% 207
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