Bad Penny is here!

ByJohn Brown

BadPennyEbookCoverBoom, baby! Today is thriller day.

Frank’s an ex-con, trying to go straight. Then an old cell mate shows up and . . . let’s just say things go downhill from there. Throw in a Mormon, some drug lords, and a good helping of guns, and, man, was this book a blast to write!

You might be interested to know that this story was inspired by a fine old brother in my church in Ohio who was one of those salt-of-the-earth folks who also happened to have been at one time a bank robber.

When he got out of prison, he determined his life would change. He married a good Methodist girl he met at a church dance, went into the laundry business, and never looked back.

It was my privilege to record his life history. Not a single event or detail in the book is about him. But I can tell you that his story deserves a book. Hopefully, my character Frank ends up doing as well in life as he did.

The new release sale will run this week only. Same great prices as the last time.  Get ’em now while they’re hot.

Bad Penny – eBook (Amazon)

Bad Penny – Trade Paper (Amazon)

Hey, John! What about iTunes, Nook, Kobo, etc?

I’ve been working the last two weeks like a freaking elf from the North Pole trying to get these distribution channels set up, but the holidays seem to have stretched out the channel lead times.

So here’s what you do: email me right now (click on my face in the sidebar) and tell me which platform you’re interested in. When the book goes live on that platform (and that should be soon), I will set it at the new release price and email you with the news. It’s that easy.

See how good I am to you? (grin)

A Holiday Side Note

If you’re lying around on the 24th and don’t know what to do get the holiday spirit, please watch Merry Madagascar. It’s short, you’ll have a good time, and if you’re not already a King Julien fan, you will be.

Have an awesome Christmas!

Sincerely,

John

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  • Please, Mr. Brown, I recommend you undress

    ByJohn Brown

    Yesterday a man asked me to get naked.

    It’s true, I can do that to some people. Not wanting to pass up any chance to go native, I agreed. Yes, I know what you’re thinking–these writers think they can bend all the rules! However, the man was a dermatologist. I was there to have this annoyance on my left ear checked. When he found out my sister had some skin cancer once (it appears I should have had my skin viewed annually), that’s when he became interested in my undressing. And in my glorious state of undress, well, with a “gown” that was about as big as a dish towel, he found this thing on my leg.

    He’s like, “How long have you had that sore?”

    I said, “That old thing, I don’t know, years.”

    “Humm,” he said. He noted some odd moles that seemed to be of the happy and peaceful sort. Then he ordered a biopsy of my leg and my ear.

    Don’t know the results of the leg yet. He suspects it’s not cancer, just some random mutant growth, which may be a result of the Lizard people that control our lives and which I learned about on book tour when I was at a Barnes & Noble in Arizona telling some folks my novel was about humans being ranched, and a glassy eyed dude sitting on a nearby chair stood up and said, “Your book is true! Your book is true!”

    The biopsy of my ear demonstrated that I’m a squamous cell carcinoma head. I’m going to have a bit of Mohs micrographic surgery next Tuesday. He said we caught it very early. So I expect there to be no issues. In my mind it’s like finding a wart. True, this wart could spread. But it isn’t like they’re going to have to cut my ear off and replace it with that of a baboon.

    Now, not only did I find Reptoid mutantcy yesterday, but I think the Reptoids have invaded the Logan, Utah police department. I say this because I went to the wrong hospital yesterday. I realized my mistake and zoomed off to the right one. There’s a hundred yard stretch along the road through fields. Lo and behold, after passing through that area, a short 4 seconds, I was pulled over by a cop who gave me a $240 speeding ticket for going 51 in a 30 mph zone. Does this not suggest to you some sort of conspiracy? To me it does. He’s obviously a Reptoid sympathizer.

    Here’s more information for the curious.

    Squamous cell carcinoma

    http://www.aad.org/public/publications/pamphlets/sun_squamous.html

    Mohs micrographic surgery

    http://mohscollege.org/about/overview.php

    Baboons

    I think this clearly shows that what separates us from our primate cousins are brassieres and other articles of fine underwear. And as you can see here, they want them! Just another instance of sad human tyranny.

    Look at this woman’s face. These are the kinds of people who they feature in horror movies. I think this must be part of casting. Put the actress in a car and see what she does with a troop of baboons. She sits and screams? Perfect. What, she taught them the meaning of roadkill? No, we don’t want anyone like that.

    The Reptoids that Control our Lives and Prove My Book is True!

    They live in the hollow part of the earth. Which is probably where the 10 Tribes of Israel went as well. And when they return we’ll have all sorts of lizard people high priests and prophets. Anything’s possible.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke (scroll down to “Reptilians and Shape-shifting”)

    Entrances to hollow earth?

    Are they real?

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  • Warwick Castle

    ByJohn Brown

    This last June, I stood outside Warwick Castle next to a longbowman and stared up at the massive structure. The curtain walls rose forty to fifty feet high. The great tower soared even higher—one hundred and twenty feet. But it wasn’t just the walls. 

    The moat. Holy schnitzel, folks, the MOAT. 

    On one side of the castle, the River Avon provided a barrier. On the other, a dry moat stretched forty to sixty feet wide and twenty to thirty feet deep. Standing at the bottom, you’d be staring up at seventy feet of turf and stone. That’s like staring up at a six-story building—with armed soldiers waiting at the top. 

    My only thought was: good night, what kind of madman would assault these defenses? 

    The answer, of course, is almost no one. Medieval sieges were usually about starving the defenders out, not storming the gates in a blaze of glory. Unless you had a trebuchet—which I also saw demonstrated that day. 

    It was the kind of moment that makes a writer’s brain spark. Assassin, the fourth book in my Drovers series, is set in the capital city of Broniss, which bristles with towers and walls of its own. Standing there at Warwick, I realized: no sane army would attack such walls directly. Which is why the High King of Osson has other dark plans. 

    Of course, Warwick had more than just military lessons. There was a falconry show where hawks, vultures, eagles, and even a condor soared just above our heads. Here’s a tip. If you go, sit on the benches, not under the tree. The benches are where you get the most flyovers.  

    There was a dungeon tour that turned into a hilarious series of skits, complete with a plague doctor and a judge who convicted one of us.  

    And afterward, we went into the city to a Thai place called The Giggling Squid (yes, that’s really its name). The food was amazing. 

    It was a glorious day, and it reminded me that some of the best research often comes from first-hand experience. Although some things—like being pierced through with a sword—I’m happy to leave to my imagination. 

    I’m back at the desk now, hard at work on Assassin. It’s turning into a terrific ride, and I can’t wait to share more soon. 

    Here’s to Ferran, Sura, and Lagash—will they foil the traitor’s plot and stop the hashida’s creature, or will Ferran and the others fail and find all their dreams dashed to pieces?  

    You’ll soon be able to find out.  

    Sincerely, 

    John 

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  • Cover art for Servant of a Dark God

    ByJohn Brown

    servantdarkgod_comp

    I just got this from my editor. My first reaction was what?–No bronze brassiers, naked thighs, or gravity defying breasts?! I’m ruined! Then I remembered I’d given up writing books about bimbos with swords (alas, I really had some terrific mosquito scenes). 

    Folks, I think Swanland’s style is gorgeous, and I hope readers find this particular cover compelling. Click on it to see it full size. There are many things about this cover that I like, but one cool thing about the content of the illustration is that he worked in Sugar with the raveler. Those are, to date, my favorite weapons ever. In fact, Sugar herself looks, well, strong, beautiful, smart. Dang! Who wants to write about a bimbo when you’ve got a woman like that?

    (Of course, a bimbo with a sword could make a very good Legally Blonde meets Lord of the Rings. Humm. I’m tempted…)

     

     

     

    .

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  • Apologies to commenters

    ByJohn Brown

    Back at the beginning of February my site was targeted for a spam attack. So I turned on Askimet which helps deal with that. Being new to Askimet and some of the wordpress setting changes I made, I didn’t know that a number of comments were being put into a pending queue. So a number of you posted comments and never saw them appear or received a reply. For example, a couple of people took issue with my review of Basic Economics because I said Obama has made a statement in good Marxist fashion. I didn’t refuse to post your comments because you disagreed. I just didn’t see them. Another person asked about LTUE, etc. I’ve approved the comments and replied. Hopefully, you’ll get a more timely response in the future. 🙂

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2 Comments

  1. Got it today, read it today. You do some great work, John. More than met my expectations. I can’t wait for the next one. I posted a review on Amazon. Hope I did the book justice.

    Thanks for making my Christmas so enjoyable.

  2. Dan,

    That is such good news to my ears (or eyes, seeing I’m reading this). I am so happy the book was a match. And I will also say that I’m flattered by the comparison to Koontz. I love, LOVE, his thriller The Good Guy. Enjoyed the heck out of The Husband. Thank you so much for posting the review and coming here to let me know.

    Glad to know I helped give your heart a workout on day reserved for lying about.

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