No. I’m Fine by Howard and Sandra Tayler

Robison_Wells____Green_Hills_Photography_0-201x300Sometimes it’s the small things that make the most difference.

Like sharing an issue you might be dealing with.

I was once at a writer’s retreat at a home above the Sundance ski resort. I’d be asked to present to some of the other writers there. Robison Wells, who writes awesome YA,  was also presenting. He talked about marketing and plot, but the presentation that was probably most memorable was the one he gave on the obsessive compulsive disorder he deals with.

He started off by telling us folks really didn’t know what they were talking about when they talked about obsessive compulsive disorder. He described it this way. He said he and his wife were sitting on the couch watching TV one evening. She said she was craving some ice cream, orangesicles, I think. He replied that he was craving banging his head into the wall. She anticipated some delicious ice cream. He anticipated some delicious head whacking. He then pointed at the wall behind all of us and said that it would feel so good to bang his head on the corner of the wall behind us. Needless to say, he had our attention.

He went on to explain more about this condition and mental illness in general and urged us, when we wrote about it, to get it right. To be accurate. To not turn such conditions into happy-happy super powers, nor to make them into things to be feared.

By the way, Robison had a fine little dog with him. Not some yapper to carry about in a purse, but a nice little companion. I keep wanting to call her Abby, but I know that’s not its name. We learned that his dog was trained to watch him and remind him to take his meds. It appeared that Robison would sometimes rationalize away doing that.

Robison isn’t crazy. We didn’t have a dangerous wild man among us. He’s just a guy who has to deal with some kinks in his hoses.

HowardTayler2So what happened next? Well, nothing. We had a great retreat and went home. But the story doesn’t end there. See, if an issue is taboo, it becomes very difficult to deal with it. As an individual, a couple, a family, a community. In fact, hiding something like this only creates more problems. For example, if Robison ever says he’s going out to pick up some hammers, we  now know that we probably ought to have someone go with him (grin). So Robison not only wanted to educate us, he also wanted to help bring mental illness out of the dark. And he’s talked about this issue in a number of different places.

Howard Tayler, the cartoonist, heard him talk about the self-harm once. He saw the good being open did and decided to write a bit about some things he has to deal with. Howard’s got a tricky bit of depression he has to manage. Sandra, Howard’s wife, decided to add to it what it was like being married to someone with such an issue.

Now, I didn’t know the Taylers had written anything up until last week at Comic Con. During the event a woman talked to me. In our conversation she indicated that she’d been wrangling with some mental crap, but that Howard’s comments about his had helped her. We continued with our discussion, and she left. On Friday evening after the expo for the Salt Lake City Comic Con had closed, I walked around the event floor, chatting with some folks I hadn’t had time to visit during the event. I stopped at Howard’s booth and said hello to him and Sandra. They were busy, and I didn’t stay long, but as I went to walk away, I thought I should pass on what the woman had said. So I did. I didn’t know what comments she was talking about. All I knew was that Howard had helped her. And I wanted to make sure he knew it.

SandraTaylerWe talked some more as they tried to clean up their booth before Howard had to run off to a panel. Then Howard handed me “No. I’m Fine”.  It’s a little 15-page booklet that contains the title story, written by Howard, plus the essay “Married to Depression” by Sandra, his wife.

The story is an excellent short that gives you the feeling of what’s it like to be dealing with one form of the bugger. The essay reveals a bit of what it’s like as the spouse and recommends some action. But the thing I found so wonderful about both the story and the essay was the example of tender love in the midst of adversity.

I’m a writer. I can’t help but be drawn to potential characters and stories. The view we get of these two in this booklet is good stuff to build some characters on. Of course, that’s not the reason to read the booklet. The reason is because what they share is fascinating and tender—it’s good drama—and, if you or someone you know is dealing with these issues, it just might help.

Go read “No. I’m Fine” and “Married to Depression”. You’ll be glad you did.

While we’re talking about this, those of you who have been following this blog know that I’ve had a few dust-ups with depression myself. I wrote about it and the tools I used to deal with it then and when it tries to come back to town. After reading the Tayler’s stuff, you’ll want to look at it as well.

Edit 9/14: Addeded links to “Married to Depression”

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  • Good Eating in Rock Springs and Laramie, Wyoming

    A few weeks ago, I had to travel to Denver for business.  I elected to drive instead of fly. The weather was glorious, and I had a book on tape—what could be better?  Driving also allowed me to stop into Rock Springs and Laramie and few other spots to do some research for the novel I’m writing.  And while I was tooling around, I found two excellent places to eat.

    The first was in Rock Springs.  It’s about five minutes off the freeway, tucked in the downtown area, which means it’s a place locals visit. It’s called Broadway Burger Station.  I walked in, past the tables, and took a swivel seat at the counter. The menu listed sandwiches and soup, but I suspect it’s the burgers most people go for.  These are BIG burgers—1/3 to ½ pound of ground beef.  I almost asked for a kid’s meal.  Not only because the portion was smaller but because they serve the kids meals in a cardboard hot rod car!  How cool is that?

    But I went with the basic burger instead. All their burgers come with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, and their special sauce. You can also add other things including mushrooms, avocado sauce, bacon, cheese, chili, egg, ham, jalapenos, and pastrami.  I went with the sautéed mushrooms. Then the very nice server tempted me with a hand-dipped malt, and I said yes because I was only thinking of all of you at the time, wanting to provide a complete and honest review.

    The place was hopping the whole time I was there, and rightly so. The server brought out my burger, fries, and malt, and, man oh man–the burger with tomato and mushrooms was succulent!  The fries were hot and delicious.  And the malt was made with hard ice cream right before my very eyes.  What’s more, I could have easily shared my meal with Nellie, which means we could have both eaten for a total of ten bucks. Great food, super-friendly service, and reasonable prices. If you’re ever passing through Rock Springs and need a place to chow, go to the Broadway Burger Station on 628 Broadway Street, (307) 362-5858.

    On my way back I stopped in Laramie and found a McAlister’s Deli in the shopping strip at 2317 Grand Avenue, (307) 745-3760. This is not the type of deli that you walk into and gag because of the weird meat smells. It’s a soup and sandwich shop. And it’s apparently been doing well. I’d never seen a McAlister’s before, but found out it’s a chain that’s in twenty-two states in the Midwest and South. And Wyoming is currently as far west as you can find one.

    They serve hot sandwiches, including one called The New Yorker (corned beef, pastrami, and swiss) and another called The Big Nasty (1/3 pound beef on a baguette).  They have classic sandwiches, grilled sandwiches, and clubs.  I ordered the Cobb Club with turkey, applewood smoked bacon, gorgonzola cheese, avocado, lettuce, tomato, and a light Parmesan Peppercorn sauce served on ciabatta bread. I also ordered a cup of their vegetable soup and a piece of Colossal Carrot Cake.

    Dude, it was all delicious. Lovely. And in Laramie of all places. Laramie! All these years I never thought to stop because the town looked so unassuming.  Laramie was just that place where Cowboy fans enjoyed hollering and throwing beer bottles at my favorite football team from the neighboring state.  Of course, I did cut them some slack—I mean, what else can you do when your team gets dominated year after year?  Sing Kumbaya? 

    They’re a’running again, Kumbaya . . .

    Just a’stomping us, Lord, Kumbaya . . .

    Freezing misery, Lord, Kumbaya. Oh, Lord, Kumbaya . . .

    Right.  Now I see I’ve misjudged them.  Maybe their football program has been in the doldrums the last few years, but Laramie isn’t a pass-through town.  Next time I’m rolling by on I-80, I’m going to stop again and see what other gems the good folks there have to offer. If you’re in the area, and you love places like Jason’s Deli and Kneaders, stop at McAlister’s Deli. Then take some time to visit the lovely St. Matthew’s cathedral on 3rd street. You can’t miss it: it’s the one with the red doors.

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  • Good Stuff! 4 Delightful Movies

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  • Good Stuff! Operation Underground Railroad

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    I need your insight!

    R-moviesLast year I posted about a service I’m working on to get ratings on books for sex, violence, and language. I posted similar thought about YA books in “Since When Did Young Adult Become The Cure For Cancer?“.

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  • Good Stuff! McDonald’s? Really?

    McDonaldsCreateYourTasteI can’t remember the last time I emoted over hamburgers.

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  • Bartimaeus & The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England

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    One of the most delightful literary characters to appear in the last decade is the cheeky Bartimaeus–a five-thousand-year-old djinni (“genie”) who plays the lead role in Jonathan Stroud’s trilogy The Amulet of Samarkand, The Golem’s Eye, and Ptolemy’s Gate.

    In Stroud’s world, magicians have no magic in themselves, but they do have the lore to summon and enslave demons, who can work magic. There are demons of various levels and powers. The lowest regularly summoned and enslaved are Imps, who can be crude and like to tell outright whoppers, but are good for standing watch and carrying messages. Next come Foliots, which Bartimaeus describes as “cut price djinn.” In the middle of the great chain of beings are the Djinn themselves, whose clever intelligence Bartimaeus extols, followed by Afrits, and finally Marids, who are rarely summoned because they are too strong for any but the most powerful magicians to control. Of Marids, Bartimaeus insightfully reveals that they are “dreadfully full of themselves.”

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    Which is why I was so happy to find that Stroud recently released a fourth book: The Ring of Solomon, which is a stand-alone prequel to the trilogy. The family and I just finished listening to it, and it is every bit as good, if not better, than the first three.

    This story is set in biblical times where King Solomon has risen to uncontested power because of his possession of an all-powerful ring which allows him to summon hordes of powerful demons in a blink. Bartimaeus is enslaved to one of Solomon’s magicians.  A mean man, who Bartimaeus catches in a mistake and escapes, principally by devouring him. But Solomon doesn’t take kindly to that, and orders Khaba, a sinister and cruel magician, to summon him back to make an example for the other demons.

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    Bartimaeus and Asmira hook up and find themselves in quite a pickle as they attempt to solve their problems. The story provides lots of humor, adventure, peril for both Bartimaeus and Asmira, and a number of surprising turnarounds. It also, in its own way, makes a comment on leadership, loyalty, and zealotry.

    You’ll find it in the middle-grade section of your bookstore, but don’t let the placement fool you into thinking it’s not for adults. Like the best stories, it offers something for everyone. It’s a perfect blend of insight and entertainment and had my whole family, oldest to youngest, spellbound for the duration as we listened to it riding in the car. This is one of my favorite books this year. And if you want to really indulge yourself, listen to the audio book read by Simon Jones.

    Travel to Medieval England

    I love learning new things about places and peoples, even if it’s a place I’ve “been” to before, which is why Ian Mortimer’s The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England intrigued me. The first page convinced me to buy to book. And I’m so happy I did.

    I’ve read my fair share of interesting and well-written texts on this subject, including, among others, Life in a Medieval City and Life in a Medieval Village by Frances and Joseph Gies, Standards of Living in the later Middle Ages by Christopher Dyer, The Medieval Castle by Philip Warner, Daily Life in the Middle Ages by Paul B. Newman, and Power and Profit: The Merchant In Medieval Europe by Peter Spufford. All engrossing reads. What sets Mortimer’s book apart is that he not only approaches the topic as a travel guide that leads to you interesting sights and shares fascinating tidbits about the place, but he also helps you imagine how it would be, as a 21st century person, to actually travel there.

    For example, where would you go if you got sick? What happens if you’re robbed, where do you report the crime, and should you? Where might you get food and would it be something you’d find palatable? How will you get from place to place? Why kind of entertainment can you expect? And what can you wear without offending your hosts?

    Mortimer focuses on the fourteenth century England, since this period comes closest to the popular idea of the medieval times. He tackles the topics of the landscape, people, the Medieval character, basic essentials, what to wear, traveling, where to stay, what to eat and drink, health and hygiene, the law, and what to do. And he does it all in a chatty, clear, and informative manner, with a bit of humor thrown in for spice.

    Each page was a delight, and I found myself feeling like I was there. Furthermore, I learned a number of things that I hadn’t picked up in my previous readings. I’m tempted to quote all sorts of interesting tidbits he shares about the age, but I’ll refrain. If you are at all interested in the Middle Ages, I think you’ll love this book.

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3 Comments

  1. All this time, I’ve been calling him Robinson. Another example of your mind seeing what it wants to see. Fixed. Thank you.

  2. I agree, it’s a pretty awesome look into Howard’s head and at how mental illness can affect someone’s brain process.

    It is also very cool that they printed up copies to give away at Comic Con!

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