Tales From Earthsea

ByJohn Brown

Tales from Earthsea (The Earthsea Cycle, Book 5) 

When I was in 7th grade I read Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Of course, I wasn’t the sharpest literary tack back then, and so great sections of The Two Towers and The Return of the King went over my head and, therefore, bored me. But, with the help of the Hildenbrant calendars, enough came through to thrill. I wept at the events in the mines of Moria with Gandalf, geeked out over the elves, orcs, and Nazgul, was fascinated with the Ents and wizards, and generally wanted to stay in that world forever.

When I finished the trilogy, I mourned–the dream was over. I read Smith of Wootton Major and Farmer Giles of Ham. Both were delightful, but neither was the same as LOTR. Then I saw The Silmarillion. It had a cool cover, a map.

Oh, joy! I bought it and took it home.

Alas, that book was about as much fun as reading a ten-pounder on the history of baroque cornices. I tried mightily to push through, but I don’t think I was able to finish more than 15 pages total from all the sections. So I mourned again, and then, still feeling the loss, went looking for something else that might whisk me away.

One of those whisking stories was Ursula LeGuin’s A Wizard of Earthsea. Of course, the fact that there was a wizard in it was important, but as equally delightful to my then puny literary prowess, was that the story was a slim thing. As were its two companions The Tombs of Atuan and The Farthest Shore.

Here’s the cover the drew me in so long ago.

I relished all three and moved on to other stories.

Time passed and I forgot about LeGuin. Almost 10 years later I was newly married. My wonderful new wife started reading to me as we’d drive. And on one of the three-hour drives to her parents, she pulled out this little book and began to read.

It was A Wizard of Earthsea! And it was just as marvelous the second time with a bigger brain as it was the first time with a smaller one. In fact, Nellie’s reading to me was so enjoyable I slowed down to 40 mph so I could extend the 3-hour drive. Of course, she quickly caught on to my scheme, shut the book, and told me she wouldn’t read another word unless I drove 65 mph, at the very least.

What can a guy do? I kept it at 65 (well, 60) and joyed in the wonderfulness of a new wife who would read aloud to me (you mean this model reads, too?!), the night and the stars spread above those lonely Utah and Wyoming roads, and the amazing story unfolding before me.

And this is the cover of the one my wife read to me.

We read all three to each other and moved onto other stories.

More than 15 years passed and I’d mostly forgotten LeGuin (I really never could get into her Hainish stuff). I was in the library looking for some good audio. And there on the shelf stood Tales from Earthsea by Ursual LeGuin.

Just a little slim container of cassettes. Why not? I thought.

Holy heroes, Batman—it was gold. LeGuin’s a master of building that feel: the wonder of fantasy, the mystery of things long forgotten or rumored to exist, the pull of learning arcane powers. I loved every minute of it (well, except for the slogging first four pages of backstory, but get through that, which isn’t too bad with Karr’s reading, and you’re into the kingdom). The first story, “The Finder,” read by Amanda Karr was incredible. It takes us back to how Roke became was it was in the first trilogy. But the delights do not end there. Four more stories follow.

I liked them all so much, I just checked the audiobook out again so I could listen a second time. And, it appears, LeGuin was busy in my absence because she has more Earthsea than this.

• A Wizard of Earthsea, 1968
• The Tombs of Atuan, 1971
• The Farthest Shore, 1972 (Winner of the National Book Award)
• Tehanu: The Last Book of Earthsea, 1990 (Winner of the Nebula Award)
• Tales From Eathersea, 2001 (a collection of short stories)
• The Other Wind, 2001

I just got the last two from Amazon. I can’t wait to enter into LeGuin’s magic spell yet again.

More cool Earthsea stuff.

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  • Some 101 for Congress and the President

    ByJohn Brown

    It’s not really rocket science.

    1. If you have loans outstanding and the payment is due, you owe the creditors a payment. Payables for Idiots 101.
    2. If you have received goods and services, then you owe your vendors a payment. Payables for Idiots 102.
    3. You pay your bills. End of story. That’s what grown ups do. If you have to float some debt for a few months, you do it. And you staple a note to your head to stop spending like a slot machine junkie. Payables for Idiots 103.

    The debts we have are for goods and services we’ve already received. So increase the debt limit and pay your damn bills. What about spending?

    1. You do not spend more than you take in year after year. If you do, that’s called running your business into the ground. In the case of the Congress (primarily Harry Reid’s Senate at this point, although many, but not all, of the Republicans were happy to go along with dumb spending earlier) and the President, it’s the country they’re running into the ground. Spending for Idiots 101.
    2. If you’ve got all sorts of cool things planned like Acorn subsidies for pimps and Antarctica Jell-O wrestling grants for scientists, but you can’t afford them—i.e. you have to go into debt to get them–you cancel those plans. Spending for Idiots 102.
    3. The problem is that Congress and the President buy all sorts of crap and expect to put it on a credit card when it comes due. And there’s nothing to prevent them from doing it.
    4. They’re like irresponsible teenagers. They need controls that won’t allow them to overspend. Kind of like putting limits on a teenager’s cell phone minutes. Or forcing them to use a debit card. When they’re out of cash, they get a card denied response from their vendors.
    5. So you set spending limits, debt limits, and force them to balance the budget each year, except in extreme emergencies like when space aliens try to wipe out humanity. Spending for Idiots 103.

    This means you pass Cut, Cap, and Balance and quit spending money you don’t have. Really difficult stuff. What about getting out of debt?

    1. You eat rice and beans until you’re debt is gone or down to a manageable level. That means you cancel crap you can’t pay for. Sorry earmarks, you’re gone. Sorry grants for nude artists in trees, you’re gone. Sorry subsidies for PBS, you’re gone.  Finances 200: How to Not Be A Money Moron.
    2. You figure out how to reduce your current cost structure. This means you figure out a way to reduce the costs of Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and every other service or product you provide, cutting those that aren’t essential. You hire someone like Mitt Romney who knows how to go through every line in a budget and turn a bloated ship around.  Finances 300: No, You Can’t Pay For Your Sister’s Hair Implants with My Money.
    3. You remind people this is the freaking U S of A. A place where a man or woman can make themselves. Not where the government changes your diapers and feeds you mush three times a day. Communism and socialism have failed. They were badly conceived utopias, much like multi-level soap and vitamin marketing schemes that are supposed to usher in the Second Coming.  Finances 400: The USA Buried the USSR for a Reason.
    4. You increase your revenues.
    5. However, if you raise taxes, you’re actually going to depress your revenues. Think about this. Which car company has bigger revenues–Lamborgini or Honda? Who is going to put out, if they’ve got Louie the Fingers and his buddy Jockstrap taking increasing amounts of their money in a protection racket? Don’t be a thug. Be an enabler.  Do what Wal-Mart does and go for volume.  Do what Ebay does–create the environment that entices tons of commerce, entices people to dramatically increase their transactions. Transactions go through the roof; you take only a tiny cut, and, shazam, you increase your revenues.  Finances 500: Um, Do You Want People to Work to Become Rich or Do You Want Them To Pick Up Torches and Burn the Houses of the Rich Down?

    Cut spending, reduce cost structure, and increase your revenues. That’s getting out of debt.

    Is this really that hard?

    EDIT: 8/1 Seems that “wacky” Ron Paul actually has a simple commonsense approach that doesn’t sound crazy. Why couldn’t we do this?

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  • Good Stuff! Mitty, Non-Stop, and The Winter Soldier

    ByJohn Brown

    the-secret-life-of-walter-mitty-poster-bigThe previews for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty didn’t look interesting at all. Furthermore, I’m not the biggest Ben Stiller fan. He’s a fine actor; I just haven’t been in the audience for a lot of his movies. Then someone I know recommended the film, and I decided to give it a go with Nellie.

    We didn’t have high hopes. I mean, look at the movie poster. Does that get you excited? She thought it was going to be dumb. I thought it was going to be dumb. But after five minutes, we found ourselves enjoying the characters and story. We finished it, both of us absolutely delighted. I liked it so much I corralled my two daughters into watching it with me. Then I watched it again. I think I watched it four times total. And I enjoyed it as much, maybe more, each time.

    Walter is a great guy who has had to play it safe and practical his whole life. When his and his co-worker’s jobs are threatened, he takes action and finds himself on a journey that starts in, ta-dum, Greenland. The movie’s got adventure, a slow-burn romance, and a cast of funny and quirky characters. But it isn’t mad-cap humor. It’s not a gushing love story. It’s something else. Something that left me feeling like my life had been leavened with a fine light joy. Give it a shot; I think you’ll be glad you did.

    * * *

    non-stop-movie-posterThe previews for Non-Stop with Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore looked great. I’m happy to report that it was every bit as good as the previews promised.

    Neeson plays a federal air marshal. While on a flight from New York to London, he gets a text telling him that unless 150 million dollars is transferred to an offshore account, someone will die every 20 minutes. But it’s not so easy finding the killer. The deaths are almost inexplicable. And things soon start to spin out of control.

    This movie is filled with surprises and suspense. And it moves. Thrillers normally move quickly, but this one was on turbo. But that doesn’t mean the story was a bunch of light and noise. Quite the contrary. The writers skillfully balance the mystery, action, suspense, and even the character backstories. A lot of folks liked Taken. I liked this better than that film. In fact, it’s one of the better thrillers I’ve seen these last few years.

    * * *

    winter-soldier-poster-no-maskI’m a superhero lover, have been since I was a kid watching the Superfriends cartoon every Saturday morning. But I never know if I’m going to enjoy a superhero movie. I love the genre, but for some reason so many of the films go for effect over story. It drives me nuts. The movie ends, the lights turn on, and I sit in my seat and go “huh.” So I’m happy to report that Captain America: The Winter Soldier actually delivers.

    I cannot say the same for Captain America: The First Avenger, the first in this series. That movie fell apart halfway through the film. The beginning was this wonderful story about a runt trying to do his duty and volunteer. The second half lost all its heart and turned into one big yawn. So for those of you who didn’t like that first film, know that this is a case of the sequel being far better than the original.

    In this one, SHIELD, the organization that directs the Avengers, comes under attack from within. Captain America and Black Widow have to uncover who is behind it and stop them before it’s too late. There are a lot of cool visuals and awesome action scenes. For example, I loved how Captain America “parachutes” into the opening mission. I enjoyed watching him and Black Widow fight in their distinctive ways. But the film didn’t focus on the tech or the super powers. It focused on the characters and the story. The plot includes a number of delicious surprises and reveals. There are funny moments and some poignant ones. And not only did this movie, unlike the first one, develop a single story all the way through, but it also echoes with our current search for national security.

    If you liked Iron Man and Iron Man 3, I think you’ll enjoy Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

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  • 2 Great Cook’s Country Recipes

    ByJohn Brown

    Yeah, I know–I should be writing. But I promised you two wonderful recipes from my experiments with the Cook’s Country June/July 2011 issue. There were a whole bunch of other recipes we tried that worked out well, but these were our favorites and good enough to get me to subscribe.

    By the way, I found these recipes were not only tasty, but they were great to do on a date (in this case, with my daughters). Why just eat when you can enjoy the time together as well?  Besides, two people working together make these recipes a breeze.

    Chocolate Eclair Cake

    Chocolate, vanilla pudding, whipped cream, and graham crackers–baby, is this good!  I found I liked the cake best with HALF of the pudding and whip cream mixture. You’ll see the half amounts in parentheses. That way I got a taste of the pudding, graham, and ganache in every bite. The directions make it look like there’s a lot of steps, but they all go quickly.

    INGREDIENTS

    Pudding Mixture

    • 1 ¼ C sugar (1/2 + 1/8 C)
    • 6 T cornstarch (3 T)
    • 1 tsp salt (1/2 tsp)
    • 5 C whole milk (2.5 C)
    • 4 T unsalted butter cut into chunks (2 T)
    • 5 tsp vanilla (2.5 tsp)

     Whip Cream Mixture

    • 2 T water (1 T)
    • 1 ¼  tsp unflavored gelatin (1/2 + 1/8 tsp)
    • 2 C heavy cream (1 + ¼ +1/8 C)

    Graham Crackers

    14 ounces of Nabisco Honey Maid graham crackers

    Ganache topping

    • ¾ C  heavy cream
    • 1 C semisweet chocolate chips
    • 5 T light corn syrup

     DIRECTIONS

     Make Pudding

    1. Combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt in large saucepan
    2. Wisk milk into sugar mixture and bring to boil over medium-high heat, scraping bottom with rubber spatula.
    3. Immediately reduce heat to medium-low and continue to cook and scrape until thick bubbles appear on surface, about 4-6 minutes
    4. Take off heat and wisk in butter and vanilla.
    5. Transfer hot pudding to large bowl and place plastic wrap directly on surface.
    6. Refrigerate for about 2 hours until cool.

     Make Whip Cream Mixture

    1. Stir water and gelatin together and let sit for 5 minutes.
    2. Microwave until gelatin dissolves and mixture gets bubbly around the edges, 15-30 seconds
    3. Whip 2 cups of cream on medium-low for about 1 minute, until foamy.
    4. Increase to high and whip for 2 minutes, until soft peaks form
    5. Add gelatin mixture and whip for 1 minute, until stiff peaks form

     Combine Pudding and Whip Cream Mixture

    1. Wisk one-third of whipped cream into chilled pudding.
    2. Fold remaining whipped cream into pudding.

     Layer Pudding Whip Cream Mixture with Graham Crackers

    1. Line bottom of 13 x 9 inch baking dish with a layer of graham crackers. Break and cut crackers if you have to.
    2. Top the bottom layer of crackers with ½ of the pudding whip cream mixture
    3. Place another layer of crackers over the pudding.
    4. Top that layer with the rest of the pudding whip cream mixture
    5. Place one last layer of crackers over the second layer of pudding whip cream mixture

     Make Ganache and Pour Over

    1. Microwave chocolate chips, ¾ C cream, and corn syrup in bowl 1-2 minutes, stirring occasionally.
    2. Cool for 10 minutes to room temperature
    3. Cover top layer of graham crackers with glaze
    4. Refrigerate cake for 6 – 24 hours. Then serve.

     

    Dill Potato Salad

    A potato salad with a perfect dill zing. Everybody in the Brown household loved this. Super wife especially loved it because she does not like eggs. Please note that there’s fresh dill used in all three parts. So when you shop, make sure you get enough for all three.

     INGREDIENTS

     Dill Vinegar

    • ¼ C white wine vinegar
    • 1 T minced fresh dill

     Boiling Mixture

    • 1 disposable coffee filter
    • ½ C coarsely chopped dill leaves and stems
    • 3 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes (don’t get any other type), peeled and cut into ¾ inch pieces
    • 1 T salt

     Dressing

    • ½ C mayonnaise
    • ¼ C sour cream
    • 1 T Dijon mustard
    • ½ tsp salt
    • ¼ tsp pepper
    • 2 T minced fresh dill
    • 3 scallions (green onions) green parts only sliced thin

     DIRECTIONS

     Make Dill Vinegar

    1. Combine vinegar and 1 T minced dill in bowl and microwave until steaming, 30-60 seconds
    2. Cool at room temperature for 15-20 minutes

     Boil Potatoes

    1. Place chopped dill inside disposable coffee filter and time with thread.
    2. Put potatoes, dill sachet, and salt into large pot with enough water to cover the potatoes by 1 inch.
    3. Bring to boil on high heat then reduce heat to medium and simmer until potatoes are tender, 10 minutes

     Cool and Soak Potatoes

    1. Drain potatoes thoroughly and throw away dill sachet
    2. Drizzle 2 T of the dill vinegar over hot potatoes and gently toss until evenly coated
    3. Refrigerate until cooled, 30 minutes. This allows the Yukon potatoes to suck up the dill vinegar.

     Make dressing and Combine with Potatoes

    1. Wisk mayonnaise, sour cream, remaining dill vinegar, mustard, salt, and pepper until smooth
    2. Add dressing to cooled potatoes
    3. Stir in scallions and 2 T minced dill.
    4. Cover and refrigerate to let flavors meld, 30 minutes.
    5. Serve with salt and pepper to taste.

     EDIT 9/7: Somehow I deleted four of the dressing ingredients when I posted. They’ve been added back 🙂

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  • “Somewhere My Love” by Stephen Mark Rainey

    ByJohn Brown

    The latest issue of Intergalactic Medicine Show just hit the net. Of course, I don’t have time to read. But how can I help myself when Mark Rainey’s “Somewhere My Love”  starts with this line: “She lived in our town’s one and only haunted house.”

    What a hook!

    And soon I found myself reading a wonderful story about a boy and a teacher, who happens to be a witch.

    But the kind of witch Rainey writes about is not some gal with warts and a black hat. Nor is she some kind of Alice Hoffman Practical Magic type.

    She’s a Rainey witch.

    And this tale is about a boy caught in her class in school. I loved it. It evoked perfectly how some teachers affect us boys. I haven’t read any of the other stories in this issue yet. But I can still say the measley $2.50 subscription for issue 12 is worth it if only so you can read this one story. Besides, even if you don’t have time to read it, scroll down on the TOC and you’ll see you don’t have to–you can listen to Scott Card read the thing to you.

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  • No. I’m Fine by Howard and Sandra Tayler

    ByJohn Brown

    Robison_Wells____Green_Hills_Photography_0-201x300Sometimes it’s the small things that make the most difference.

    Like sharing an issue you might be dealing with.

    I was once at a writer’s retreat at a home above the Sundance ski resort. I’d be asked to present to some of the other writers there. Robison Wells, who writes awesome YA,  was also presenting. He talked about marketing and plot, but the presentation that was probably most memorable was the one he gave on the obsessive compulsive disorder he deals with.

    He started off by telling us folks really didn’t know what they were talking about when they talked about obsessive compulsive disorder. He described it this way. He said he and his wife were sitting on the couch watching TV one evening. She said she was craving some ice cream, orangesicles, I think. He replied that he was craving banging his head into the wall. She anticipated some delicious ice cream. He anticipated some delicious head whacking. He then pointed at the wall behind all of us and said that it would feel so good to bang his head on the corner of the wall behind us. Needless to say, he had our attention.

    He went on to explain more about this condition and mental illness in general and urged us, when we wrote about it, to get it right. To be accurate. To not turn such conditions into happy-happy super powers, nor to make them into things to be feared.

    By the way, Robison had a fine little dog with him. Not some yapper to carry about in a purse, but a nice little companion. I keep wanting to call her Abby, but I know that’s not its name. We learned that his dog was trained to watch him and remind him to take his meds. It appeared that Robison would sometimes rationalize away doing that.

    Robison isn’t crazy. We didn’t have a dangerous wild man among us. He’s just a guy who has to deal with some kinks in his hoses.

    HowardTayler2So what happened next? Well, nothing. We had a great retreat and went home. But the story doesn’t end there. See, if an issue is taboo, it becomes very difficult to deal with it. As an individual, a couple, a family, a community. In fact, hiding something like this only creates more problems. For example, if Robison ever says he’s going out to pick up some hammers, we  now know that we probably ought to have someone go with him (grin). So Robison not only wanted to educate us, he also wanted to help bring mental illness out of the dark. And he’s talked about this issue in a number of different places.

    Howard Tayler, the cartoonist, heard him talk about the self-harm once. He saw the good being open did and decided to write a bit about some things he has to deal with. Howard’s got a tricky bit of depression he has to manage. Sandra, Howard’s wife, decided to add to it what it was like being married to someone with such an issue.

    Now, I didn’t know the Taylers had written anything up until last week at Comic Con. During the event a woman talked to me. In our conversation she indicated that she’d been wrangling with some mental crap, but that Howard’s comments about his had helped her. We continued with our discussion, and she left. On Friday evening after the expo for the Salt Lake City Comic Con had closed, I walked around the event floor, chatting with some folks I hadn’t had time to visit during the event. I stopped at Howard’s booth and said hello to him and Sandra. They were busy, and I didn’t stay long, but as I went to walk away, I thought I should pass on what the woman had said. So I did. I didn’t know what comments she was talking about. All I knew was that Howard had helped her. And I wanted to make sure he knew it.

    SandraTaylerWe talked some more as they tried to clean up their booth before Howard had to run off to a panel. Then Howard handed me “No. I’m Fine”.  It’s a little 15-page booklet that contains the title story, written by Howard, plus the essay “Married to Depression” by Sandra, his wife.

    The story is an excellent short that gives you the feeling of what’s it like to be dealing with one form of the bugger. The essay reveals a bit of what it’s like as the spouse and recommends some action. But the thing I found so wonderful about both the story and the essay was the example of tender love in the midst of adversity.

    I’m a writer. I can’t help but be drawn to potential characters and stories. The view we get of these two in this booklet is good stuff to build some characters on. Of course, that’s not the reason to read the booklet. The reason is because what they share is fascinating and tender—it’s good drama—and, if you or someone you know is dealing with these issues, it just might help.

    Go read “No. I’m Fine” and “Married to Depression”. You’ll be glad you did.

    While we’re talking about this, those of you who have been following this blog know that I’ve had a few dust-ups with depression myself. I wrote about it and the tools I used to deal with it then and when it tries to come back to town. After reading the Tayler’s stuff, you’ll want to look at it as well.

    Edit 9/14: Addeded links to “Married to Depression”

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  • Good Stuff! McDonald’s? Really?

    ByJohn Brown

    McDonaldsCreateYourTasteI can’t remember the last time I emoted over hamburgers.

    Yeah, I’ve been to Smash Burger (way overpriced) and Five Guys (good) and Carl’s Jr. (no scantily clad women to be seen; talk about issues with truth in advertising), In-and-Out (what’s the appeal?), and a hundred other chains and non-chains. Burgers were burgers. Big whoop.

    Of all these, McDonald’s was way down at the bottom. I have never gotten excited about McDonald’s hamburgers. I worked for McDonald’s back in the early 1980’s, and the food wasn’t bad then, but the burgers have gotten progressively uninspiring as the company has turned to various methods of pre-cooking everything. To me McDonald’s has simply been the place you went for filler. Except for the Egg McMuffin, which I’ve always enjoyed.

    But last week my daughter wanted McDonald’s, and since I’m not a totalitarian despot, I took her there. We went to the one by the Layton Hills mall. Inside, to my surprise, I found three, tall touch screen kiosks. I thought, oh, neat, a way to cut the ordering queue. But it was more than that.

    McDonald’s has rolled out a new Make Your Own Burger offering that allows you to select the type of bun, cheese, and toppings you want with a quarter pound patty. And the toppings aren’t just the standard pickle, onion, and ketchup. Oh, no. There are three types of buns to choose from. Three or more types of cheese. You can get raw onions or grilled. Guacamole, sautéed mushrooms, two types of mayo, bacon, and more. The lettuce is a leaf, not some iceberg chop.

    So I selected the artisan bun, sharp white cheddar, sriracha mayo, ketchup, pickle, lettuce, tomato slice, grilled onions, and sautéed mushrooms.

    The results?

    I was shocked. The beef was juicy. The onions were perfect. The mushrooms, perfect. The sriracha mayo gave it the perfect little zing. Folks, it was so good that within the week, I went back for another in Logan. I have never gone back with any sort of anticipation for a chain burger, anywhere. And the second sandwich was just as good as the first. I am now an official McDonald’s make your own burger fan.

    If you’ve become bored with burgers, if you consider them last-resort filler, as I did, or if you’re just wanting to try something new, let me recommend you go to, yes, McDonald’s. You do need to be aware that not all stores offer this new option. So check to make sure the one you’re going to has it (in Logan, Utah you’ll only find it at the south McDonald’s), and then see if you don’t agree that McDonald’s hasn’t finally come out with a great new offering.

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