My Most Favorite Movies of the Decade: 2000 – 2009

I was bummed after seeing Clash of the Titans because the movie just didn’t work for me (although Medusa was cool). It was a total thumbs down. After expressing my disappointment, my wife said it seemed I never liked any movie we saw in a theater. To defend myself against this heinous accusation I shall list all my favorite movies of the last decade.  My only question is: where are all the love stories? I haven’t seen a great love story since Sabrina and Far and Away.

Of course, I haven’t had time to see all the movies made in the last ten years. So if you have some favorites not listed here, post them.

Top 10 Movies: 2000 – 2009

10. A Beautiful Mind (2001, PG-13)

John Forbes Nash, a mathematician, thinks he’s broken the code for a terrible Soviet conspiracy plot, but the real truth turns his world upside down. It’s full of mystery, suspense, and love.  Russell Crowe gives a brilliant performance as Nash. Furthermore, the film is based on the the true story of John Forbes Nash, Jr., a Nobel Laureate in Economics.

9. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003, PG-13)

Swashbuckling adventure, a curse, and lots of humor. Probably the best pirate movie ever made. The next two movies fell flat for me, but this one was simply amazing.

8. Gladiator (2000, R)

Another Russell Crowe film. A corrupt prince betrays a Roman general and murders his family. They general is captured and made a slave to fight as a Gladiator. I was so drawn into the story that at one point in the movie theater I had to restrain myself from shouting out at a suspenseful moment.

7. The Last Samurai (2003, R)

Nathan Algren, a former US soldier in America’s west, drowns his regrets in alcohol. He becomes a military advisor in Japan, but is captured by the enemy. He learns from the enemy samurai, but does he become a new, better man? This one has Tom Cruise in it. I enjoyed it immensely.

6. We Were Soldiers (2002, R)

From the IMDB: “In a place soon to be known as The Valley of Death, in a small clearing called landing zone X-Ray, Lt. Colonel Hal Moore and 400 young fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons, all troopers from an elite American combat division, were surrounded by 2,000 North Vietnamese soldiers. The ensuing battle was one of the most savage in U.S. history. We Were Soldiers Once And Young is a tribute to the nobility of those men under fire, their common acts of uncommon valor, and their loyalty to and love for one another. The story of the first major battle of the American phase of the Vietnam War and the soldiers on both sides that fought it.” This is an incredible story. Mel Gibson and the others give an outstanding performance. I wept at their courage.

5. Spiderman-2 (2004, PG-13)

The first Spiderman stank. Sorry. It stank because the villain was too cartoonish. The third one stank as well. This one, however, oh baby. Peter Parker’s personal life is falling apart, he’s losing the one thing in life that would make him happy (yes, a girl). Furthermore, he begins to lose his powers just as he has to battle a brilliant scientist named Doctor Otto Octavius, who becomes Doctor Octopus (aka Doc Ock), after an accident causes him to bond psychically with mechanical tentacles that do his bidding. Loved this. Drama, gosh wow super-heroism, and a heart.

4. Ice Age (2002, G)

Another hilarious animated tale with heart. Set during the Ice Age, a saber tooth tiger, a sloth, and a wooly mammoth find a lost human infant and try to return him to his tribe. Of course, the saber tooth tiger was sent to lead the others into a trap. Sid the sloth is one of the best characters to come along in a long time. You’ll love this show. Again, another show I can watch over and over again.

3. The Emperor’s New Groove (2000, G)

I saw the previews to this and thought D-U-M-B. But it is one of the best films ever. Animated. Hilarious. Emperor Kuzco’s ex-administrator Yzma wants to kill him and rule. She turns him into a llama instead, and her not too bright side-kick doesn’t quite finish him off. Now the selfish emperor is on the run and needs to regain his throne. But the only person who can help him is the guy whose home he’s going to bulldoze. But that doesn’t capture the half of it. The characters are wonderful. Me and the kids watch this three or four times a year and still don’t tire of it.

2. The Incredibles (2004, PG)

A family of undercover superheroes tries to live a normal suburban life but is forced into action to save the world. This is Pixar’s best film. Every one of these characters is interesting. The family dynamics are real and often hilarious. There’s suspense, drama, and gosh-wow. Imagine James Bond as a family man. I LOVE this movie.

1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy: Lord of the Rings (2001, PG-13), The Two Towers (2002, PG-13), The Return of the King (2003, PG-13)

For those readers who aren’t familiar with this, J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings is one of the most popular series written in the last 50 years. His three books spawned a whole new genre. It is, in fact, the genre I currently write in. Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh did an amazing job bringing the beloved epic fantasy to the screen. There’s heroism, suspense, and wonder galore. These movies transport you to another world, immerse you in it, and leave you wanting more.

Runners Up

Casino Royale (2006, PG-13)

I gave up on James Bond years ago. This is Bond like you’ve never seen him. Loved this. The next Bond, The Quantum of Solace, fell totally on its face. But Casino Royale is the real deal–action, spy, and poignant love story all wrapped up in one.

Luther (2003, PG-13)

The story of the early 16th century German monk Martin Luther who, sick of Church materialism, begins the Protestant Reformation. I knew very little about Luther. This movie was an eye-opener.

Matchstick Men (2003, PG-13)

Nicolas Cage is a phobic con man who learns he has a teenage daughter. He plans another con, but things start to fall apart. In the end, well, let’s just say it was a heart-breaking, then absolutely satisfying.

Seabiscuit (2003, PG-13)

Based on the true story of the undersized Depression-era racehorse whose victories lifted the spirits of the nation. This story is full of heartbreak and redemption. About not giving up on broken things. Loved it.

Slumdog Millionaire (2008, R)

A Mumbai teen who grew up in the slums, becomes a contestant on the Indian version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” He is arrested under suspicion of cheating, and while being interrogated, events from his life history are shown which explain why he knows the answers.

Walk the Line (2005, PG-13)

This tells the story of country music legend Johnny Cash. It starts from his early days on an Arkansas cotton farm to his rise to fame with Sun Records in Memphis. It shows how he fell to drugs, and how he climbed back out again. Marvelous performances and story.

A Better Way to Rate Movies

Life is too short to waste it on movies that offend instead of uplift.

I have found over the years that the MPAA movie ratings are lousy at helping me avoid dreck. They’re okay as a rough guide, but they don’t give me enough information to make a good choice. Furthermore, the MPAA often rates a movie mature for elements I don’t find offensive and not for others I do. Luckily, there are other places that rate movies. The one that I’ve found most helpful is KidsInMind.com.

The folks there give movies separate ratings on three things: sex/nudity, violence/gore, and profanity. But they don’t just present some mysterious number. They also list exactly what’s in the movie. What this does is give you the information you need to make a wise decision. By looking at movies that made me uncomfortable in each of those three areas and comparing scores, I soon pegged my acceptable KidsInMind levels.

KidsInMind doesn’t tell me anything about the quality of the story or movie-making. But I can look at other reviews for that kind of stuff. What it does well is help me avoid movies with content I know I will find objectionable. Of course, I still look at the MPAA rating, but before I go see a movie or order it on Netflix, I check the KidsInMind ratings. It’s not perfect, but in almost every case it works like a charm. The only downside to the site is its five gazillion popup ads. But it’s a small price to pay for good information.

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  • Interview with Author Judson Roberts

    I’m very excited to present an interview I did with Judson Roberts, author of the Strongbow Saga.

    Over his long and varied career, Judson Roberts has been a police officer, federal agent, organized crime prosecutor, and private investigator. He is also reputedly a distant descendant of Rollo, also known as Rolf or Hrolf, the Viking leader who in 911 AD entered into a treaty with the King of the Western Franks and was granted the lands located around the mouth of the Seine River which eventually became known as Normandy, after the Northmen who settled there. He currently lives in Houston, Texas, but is looking forward to moving. (I’d think–what’s a Viking gonna do in landlocked Houston except go crazy?)

    Here’s what the scion of Rollo had to say. BTW, you’re going to see how ebooks have changed things so much for authors.

    *

    JB: Judson, you’ve had quite a rollercoaster ride with publishing these last few years. You were picked up by HarperTeen for a trilogy. Orson Scott Card reviewed the first novel and called it “A well-written, well-researched, exciting, moving historical novel.” But some things didn’t go as planned. Give us the story.

    JR: That’s a good way of putting it: some things didn’t go as planned. The whole experience has been a valuable lesson for me, in part about what realistically to expect when dealing with a big publisher, but even more so, that often in life, things that seem like disasters at the time can, in the long run, prove to be opportunities we never could have found otherwise.

    My experience with HarperCollins was not a happy one. But before I get into that, I should give a bit of background information. The books that HarperCollins published are the first three volumes of a historical fiction series, set in the world of the Vikings during the 9th century, which I plan to eventually be five books long. I always envisioned the series as adult fiction, and wrote each book as such.

    I initially had a very hard time finding an agent. After a year or so of trying, I saw an advertisement about the Maui Writers Conference in Hawaii that said that authors could submit a “resume” consisting of a brief excerpt and a pitch for their current work to the conference-for a fee, of course-and the resume would be circulated to all agents and publishers attending the conference. I gave it a shot, and ended up being contacted by three agents as a result. One was especially eager—she asked me to give her an exclusive look at the full manuscript, but promised to give me her decision within two weeks. In fact, she asked to represent me within a week. Her agency primarily handles children’s and young adult books, but she assured me she also handled some adult fiction and wanted to handle more, so that, and her enthusiasm, won me over.

    She ended up being unable to interest any adult fiction editors in the book—at that time, I’d only actually written what is now book 1 of the series, Viking Warrior, although the way that book ends there’s obviously more of the story to come. So she asked if she could try to sell it as YA fiction, I agreed, and not too long after that, she secured a three book contract for the Strongbow Saga with HarperTeen, part of the children’s books division of HarperCollins.

    My editor at HarperCollins was very good-whatever I may feel about other divisions of that publisher, I’ve had nothing but good experience with editorial staff there-and was very enthusiastic about the series. She never made me tone the books down in any way—as intended adult fiction, and historically accurate to the period, there are some scenes that are quite violent. She even went so far as to say that she could see the series developing the kind of enthusiasm across different age groups-becoming a cross-over book for teens and adults-whose popularity might last for many years, similar to The Lord of the Rings, and she. That was a bigger vision than I had for the books, but it was certainly an exciting comparison to hear-The Lord of the Rings has been my favorite book since I first read it decades ago in high school. Unfortunately, the marketing side of HarperCollins apparently did not share her vision.

    Trouble in paradise initially began with the cover design. Someone in marketing decided that the group of targeted readers (and as it turned out, the marketing side never had any idea of trying to reach adult readers—they worked for the children’s division, after all) least likely to be attracted to a book about the Vikings was teenage girls, so they developed a series of covers, using different samples and focus groups, specifically designed to attract them. The results look a lot like covers for romance novels, though at least without the bare chests.

    In the months leading up to the release of book 1, I asked the marketing department what plans they had to get the word out about the new series, and what I could do to help. They responded that their primary focus was going to be libraries, that they’d be pushing the books hard to librarians, using them as a gateway to get the books in front of young readers. They’d also be sending out the typical round of advance review copies prior to release.

    The reality was far different. Had it been a test of stealth technology, Viking Warrior’s release would have been a great success, but book releases are not supposed to totally invisible. It was not reviewed in a single major review venue—my agent said she had never, in her entire career, seen a new series being launched in hardback by a major publisher get no reviews at all. I’d suggested a number of specialized venues to send review copies to also—publications specifically targeted at fans of history and historical fiction, reenactors, and the like, and none of them put out reviews, either. Eventually I started contacting a number of these smaller venues, and learned than none had received review copies of my book. It looked like someone on the marketing side made a huge mistake and somehow failed to send out review copies, although HarperCollins has repeatedly refused to admit that had happened.

    Eventually a few scattered reviews were received months after Viking Warrior had been released, but by then the damage had been done. I learned a new term: “sell through.” In publishing, that term refers to how many of the copies of a book that are shipped out to distributors and booksellers are actually sold, instead of being returned. The first months after a book’s release are the most carefully scrutinized—publishers want a new book to hit the ground running and sell lots of copies quickly. Needless to say, if no one has ever heard of a book, and its only sales occur when someone just happens to discover it on a bookstore’s shelves (and on the shelves of the children’s books section, in the case of my books) that kind of early momentum does not happen.

    The promised campaign to reach out to librarians never happened, either. About two or so or so years after the series first came out, I began periodically receiving emails from school librarians who had belatedly discovered the books, fallen in love with them themselves, and had become eager advocates for the series to their students. Over and over, I’ve heard from these librarians, “Why have I never heard of these books before?” One even confronted a HarperTeen representative at a big library conference, asking why they didn’t publicize the series more, and the rep didn’t even know what books she was talking about. And always, they asked when the next book in the series would be coming out.

    That was a painful question. Because the sell through numbers were so low for book 1, each of the next two books had successively smaller printings, and again received little or no support from the publisher. By the time the third book came out, the series was unofficially dead. My editor said that, based on the numbers, there was no way she could persuade HarperCollins to buy the other two books in the series. However, the publisher had the right to buy them locked up with an option clause in the contract, so I was unable to publish them any other way, either. It was not until 2010—after my original editor had moved from HarperCollins to another of the big publishers, and after the decision had been made to start taking the series out of print-that the option clause was released, and I had the unrestricted right to finish my own series.

    JB: Oh. My. Heck. Wow, talk about a sucker punch. Body blow, body blow! I knew some of the details from Card’s review, but this just fills me with dismay. How could that happen? I don’t know. Mistakes are made, but geez. I’m sure those must have been a rough couple of years as a writer. Of course, you knew you had a good book. So what happened next?

    JR: There were certainly a couple of grim years in there. I couldn’t write the next book in the series because HarperCollins was keeping it locked up with the option clause of the contract, my sales—and royalty income—were dropping to minimal levels, and my agent—now my former agent—basically said it was all a tough break, and I should just give up on the series and move on to something else. Given that I’d spent years of research developing my base of knowledge and expertise about the Vikings and their time period, that suggestion didn’t sit very well.

    What really sustained me as a writer during this period were the emails I received from readers. Understand that when I starting writing this series, my goal was to try to write a story that  would have the following attributes, of the novels I’ve read over my lifetime that I’m most enjoyed and that have stuck with me as lasting favorites: I wanted the world the story takes place in to be exotic and different from our own, but so vivid that the reader is swept into it (and since the series is historical fiction, I also wanted it to be as rigorously accurate as possible), and I wanted the characters to become real for the reader, so that readers would become emotionally involved with them. But I truly never anticipated the kind of responses the story seems to be evoking in some people. For example, I had several emails from a major in the Australian Army, stationed in Afghanistan, who said the books are part of his permanent inspirational collection, and that he and his young son both love them. A young man told me the books had helped him during a difficult period when he was going through drug rehabilitation, and recently a young woman wrote to tell me that her cousin, who’d recently returned from a tour in Afghanistan and was deeply disturbed by his experiences there, had enjoyed the books and they’d given him comfort. I’ve been tremendously moved, but also more than a little amazed, at how deeply some readers are connecting Halfdan, the protagonist of the series, and I am resolved to finish the story for them.

    I eventually decided to sidestep the option clause by writing a stand-alone historical thriller, which involves some of the characters from the series but not the protagonist, which will in some ways also be a prequel to the series, in that I’m using it to introduce a new character who will play a major role in the final novel of the Strongbow Saga when it’s written. The new novel—its title is The Beast of Dublin—is set in Ireland about five years before the series begins, and part of its plot involves a twist on the Beowulf story. I’m still in the midst of writing that novel—Ireland in the mid-ninth century proved to have horribly difficult history and culture to research and understand, so I’m far behind my planned schedule.

    Meanwhile, during 2010 things started to happen. Around the middle of the year I begin hearing about an author named J.A. Konrath and his experiences self-publishing through Amazon’s Kindle e-book store. He had a number of books that had previously been traditionally published but had gone out of print, so he made them available again as e-books, and also self-published some books he’d written that had never sold. He has experimented a lot with pricing, cover designs, etc. and has published his results on a blog he writes, to spread the word about how Amazon has changed the game for authors, giving them a way to make a living through their writing free of the problems inherent in the traditional publishing system. As an experiment and to learn how to create an ebook, I published a roughly 30,000 “first look” preview of The Beast of Dublin for any Strongbow Saga fans who wanted to get a glimpse of what I’m currently writing—almost every email I receive from readers asks when my next book is coming out.

    Also around the middle of 2010, I noticed that Amazon had started listing book 2 of my series, Dragons from the Sea, as unavailable. It took months to get HarperCollins to even admit they’d taken that book out of print, and then to respond to a request I sent them that rights to the book be reverted to me, but finally, in October, I owned that book again. While I was waiting for the reversion to come through, I worked with a tremendously talented computer and graphics designer named Luc Reid to create a new cover which does justice to the book, and after the time consuming process of re-editing the book (is any author ever satisfied enough with a finished book to forego a chance to tweak it one more time?) and the excruciatingly slow process of converting it into Kindle format—I do NOT have any skills at computer language or programming—I managed to get the book live in the Kindle store by late October.

    In the meantime, HarperCollins took book 1 of the series out of print, so the whole process—request reversion of rights, design new cover, re-edit, and convert to Kindle format, began again. Book 1 of the series, Viking Warrior, did not go live in Amazon’s Kindle store until December 24th. Christmas had been my target date, because Amazon has surprised every analyst and expectation by selling somewhere between seven and eight million Kindles during 2010, many during the months leading up to Christmas, so even the traditional publishers have been expecting to see a huge surge in e-book sales beginning in early 2011.

    It’s still early days yet, but so far I’m tremendously encouraged by how my books are moving on Amazon. The total numbers still probably would not impress a big traditional publisher looking for the quick sell-through blitz, but thanks to Amazon’s generous royalty program, I’m starting to see my series produce some meaningful income. In October, when book 2 first went live for part of the month but book 1 was unavailable, I earned barely over $100. During November, despite the fact that book 1 was still unavailable, sales earnings climbed to about $470. In December they jumped to over $800, and if the rate of sales for January keeps up for the entire month like the first two weeks have gone, they’ll easily pass $2,000.

    And the earnings alone aren’t the whole story. Amazon’s sales reports reflect that a significant portion of these sales are taking place outside of the U.S., and I’ve begun having contacts from new readers in the U.K., Scandinavia, and even Spain. HarperCollins had insisted on acquiring foreign rights with their contract, but then essentially did nothing with them. Now I have a chance to get the story into overseas markets.

    I’m not yet ready to say I’ll never try the traditional publishing route again—I’ll probably at least test those waters with The Beast of Dublin once it’s finished. But I will, without question, self-publish book 4 of the series through Amazon once it is written. There are just so many advantages, not the least of which is that I can get the book to readers within a month or two after I’ve finished writing it, compared to a year or longer via the traditional publishing route. The world we as writers are working in is changing dramatically.  I don’t think anyone really knows what it’s going to look like ten years from now, but so far, it’s looking like the changes could be very good for writers.

    JB: Hey, I’ll take an extra $1-2k any month (grin). I’m so excited to see this series find its audience. What particularly impresses me is the resonance the books have had with some of your readers. You know, there’s art that entertains, art that gets in your face on purpose, art that enlightens, art that gives solace—I’m sure there are dozens of other things that art does. You mentioned your goals with the book in your response. But do you have another ultimate goal? Or maybe I should say, what’s your view of yourself as an author? What is it you see yourself providing the reader?

    JR: I view myself as a storyteller. My goal is to provide readers with entertainment, escape, to touch them emotionally, and maybe occasionally subtly provide a bit of inspiration.

    JB: I love it. It’s clear you’re succeeding. I think I have two more questions for you. First, I’d like you to tell my readers about Viking Warrior, the first book in the Strongbow Saga, itself. It should be clear now that it’s a historical, but what’s it about?

    JR: The story is set during the mid-ninth century. When it begins in Viking Warrior, Halfdan, the protagonist, is a fifteen year old slave living on the estate of a Danish chieftain. His mother, also a slave, is an Irish noblewoman stolen years ago in a raid, and his father the chieftain whose estate they live on and belong to.

     The chieftain is mortally wounded in a raid on England, and is brought home by his son, Harald, to die. The chieftain wants Halfdan’s mother to accompany him on his death voyage to the next world (an actual custom sometimes practiced in Viking society). She cuts a bargain that will cost her her life–if he tries to force her, she will call upon the god of the Christians to curse him and derail his death voyage, but if he agrees to free Halfdan and acknowledge him as his son, she will go willingly.

     After the funeral, Harald, now the head of the family, undertakes to train Halfdan in the skills he will need as a free man and a warrior. But Halfdan’s new life is soon shattered by a terrible act of treachery that leaves Harald and most of his followers dead, and Halfdan on the run with the warriors of an enemy chieftain hunting him.

    JB: (Folks, if Card’s review and that description doesn’t induce you to read this excellent book, I don’t know what will.) Dude, talk about a setup. I think anyone who is a Bernard Cornwell fan should enjoy this. You’ve mentioned a bit about what books you’re working on, but give us the details about what’s coming next and what’s available right now.

    JR: Currently the first three books of the Strongbow Saga series are available, although paper editions of book 1, Viking Warrior, and book 2, Dragons from the Sea, are temporarily out of print. I hope to get a new print edition of Dragons  back out within a week or so.  It will take a bit longer to get the new print version of Viking Warrior  into circulation, because I have to hire someone to set up the print format, and I’m at the mercy of their time constraints. However, for now new and used copies of both are still available–often quite cheaply–on Amazon through affiliated booksellers, and they’re also available as e-books through Amazon’s Kindle store.

     I’m currently in the middle of writing the novel I mentioned earlier, The Beast of Dublin, which is set in same the world as the series and includes a number of characters from it, but takes place in Ireland about five years before the series begins and will be a stand-alone historical thriller. As soon as I finish it, I’ll begin writing the fourth book of the Saga–I’ve already got the plot roughly outlined. Over the five books of the series, readers will journey with Halfdan over much of the Viking world. Books 2 and 3 are set mostly in western Frankia–the kingdom that became modern France–and in book 4, Halfdan’s pursuit of his sworn enemy will carry him from Denmark to Sweden and down into Russia.

    JB: It looks like you’re going to be keeping busy. Judson, this has been great. I really enjoyed the interview. Thanks so much for taking time out to share your experience with us.

    JR: Thank you, John. It was my pleasure. You’re a thorough interviewer.

    *

    John sez . . . first of all, wow. Talk about a fighter. Bam, bam, bam and the series is on the floor, bleeding and written off as dead. A lot of authors might have given up at that moment and gone onto pole dancing or avocado picking. Not Roberts. He gets back up and finds new distribution and continues to write (this time a cool Beowulf thriller). And, lo, his books are finding their audience–all over the world! Second, I think five years ago Roberts could have only come back under a different name. But now, heck, he’s selling on Amazon. And not just floating around with a book sale every month. He’s in the 2000’s out of hundreds of thousands of books. Holy schnitzel. Look at this ranking as of 1/24/11 5:11 PM my time (the most important time).

    Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #2,349 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

    A book and series considered dead is selling as well as or better than thousands of other “live” books. Long live the zombies. Ebooks have changed everything. Everything. So much power is shifting to the creators. It’s totally exciting to me.

    LINKS

    Judson Robert’s website

    Reviews & Praise

    Viking Warrior on Amazon

    2011 Codex Blog Tour

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  • Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia

    MonsterHunterInternational_LarryCorreiaThere’s a joke that all horror movies would be over in two minutes if you just made the hero smart and gave him a gun.

    Well, Correia gives his likeable hero a gun, but not just any old thing. If you’re going to kill a vampire, why not use a rocket propelled grenade or a flame thrower? In fact, if there were enough monster outbreaks, you might have a government agency. You might also find that agency was willing to outsource some of the monster hunting to private contractors (ala Blackwater). And you can bet they won’t be hunting with pea shooters. They’ll be doing it right, with brains and firepower. Correia, someone who loves guns (used to own a gun shop and shoot competitively in rifle, shotgun, and pistol) and monsters, wrote a story that does just that.

    The idea of Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter International might remind you a bit of X-Files or Men in Black, but it’s neither. However, it is as  good as or better than both. Correia tells the story of Owen Pitt, a big lug of an accountant, who, as he was working late one evening, gets called into the office of his boss. No big deal, right? Except the fat man is naked, transforming into a werewolf, and vows to eat Pitt’s heart. It’s not quite how you want to end your day tallying debits and credits. Pitt almost dies in the encounter, but manages to “live the American dream” and throw his incompetent jerk of a boss from the fourteenth-story window and splatter him on a double-parked Lincoln Navigator below.

    Good work for a bean counter. When Pitt finally recovers, he gets an offer he can’t refuse (mostly because of the alluring agent that comes to recruit him), and he joins Monster Hunter International (MHI), the private contractor who sends out special force teams to use any means at their disposal to kill monsters. Unlucikly for Pitt, one of the baddest monsters around is just about to ruin the world forever, and Pitt finds himself in the middle of the fight.

    Correia fills the book with enough action for any red-blooded male, a variety of bad mamba jamba monsters, and wonderful characters. There’s romance and heroism (I got a lump in my throat at one part toward the end), but his signature is his humor. I laughed again and again.

    Part of that humor stems from the fact that Correia has an ear for good lines. Part stems from his delight in taking common tropes and stereotypes and twisting them. And this is another one of the things that I enjoyed immensely about the book. For example, the team of newbie hunters that Pitt joins is not made up of square-jawed males and females with Navy SEAL backgrounds, although some in the company do have that. Nope, Correia puts together an accountant, librarian, school teacher, and stripper (all people who faced some kind of monster and are ready for payback), and he makes them believable hunters. 

    This tongue-in-cheek tweaking is everywhere. There are elves in this book unlike any you have ever seen. But he also makes it personal. Owen is not your typical accountant. Even a number of the minor characters get this treatment. For example, one of the people on the team is a Black guy with Rasta hair. But Correia doesn’t choose from what Correia calls one of the four Hollywood stereotypes. Nope, this guy plays against those types. He isn’t the comic relief, the gangsta, the sports dude, or scary male. He’s his own man, a shy virgin with a good heart. Correia also gives his characters interesting backstories. And one of the delights is discovering them.

    I encountered a few minor flaws in the presentation, but these are easily overlooked. Easily. There’s also quite a bit of profanity (and so those who wish to avoid it are forewarned). However, when I turned the last page Friday night, I looked up at Larry who was lying on his bed in our La Quinta hotel room in Denver, his concealed .45 and 9mm guns on the floor beside him, and said, “Wow. WOW.” And then I think I said, “Dude, what a marvelous read” or maybe it was “Oh, great lord of zombie destruction tales do not smite me,” but I’m not sure because I was still thinking about the perfect last line of the perfect last scene of the last chapter.

    Now, those exclamations of satisfaction and delight had nothing to do with the guns on the floor, that Larry’s a deadly shot, or that he’s a big 6’3″ Portugese. It has nothing to do with the fact that he and I were on a book tour together. I don’t read books that don’t grab me. End of story. I stopped doing that long ago. I don’t care who wrote them. And I don’t give false praise. False praise irks me to no end and does nobody any good, especially not the receiver. The truth is that Larry’s book was simply too good to put down. It pulled me in with the opening quote and kept delivering the goods until the end. And if you don’t believe me, you read the quote that both inspiried and opens the book and tell me you don’t want to turn the next page.

    “You know what the difference between me and you really is? You look out there and see a horde of evil, brain-eating zombines. I look out there and see a target-rich environment.” ~Dillis D. Freeman Jr.

    Yeah, it got ya, didn’t it. The ride is waiting folks. Just go on over to Amazon. Correia is going to be a writer to watch.

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  • Good Stuff! The Greatest Showman

    I saw the previews of The Greatest Showman, the movie about the circus guy. I rolled my eyes. The circus? Come on.

    But my daughters, one by one, went to see it and came home raving.

    And then my wife went to see it and came home raving.

    And then my youngest was playing some music the other night, and I said, “Ooh, that’s nice. Good beat. Wow. What is that?”

    She said with much affection, “The Greatest Showman, loser.”

    I said to myself, maybe the previews simply stank. I said, I’ve seen movies where the previews were better than the full-length film. Maybe this was the reverse.

    I said, to my fine daughter and wife, “How about a movie night?”

    They were more than game to see it a second time. So we went and saw The Greatest Showman this week.

    Here’s the report.

    Oh. My. Holy. Freaking. Heck!

    This movie is one of the best movies I’ve seen in the last few years. And get this: it was released more than eleven weeks ago, back in December of last year. How many movies do you know that stay in the theaters for eleven weeks straight? When a movie keeps attracting crowds week after week, long after the release night hype has faded, they say it “has legs.”

    Let me tell you, this one has some legs. The music is awesome. The visuals are wonderful. And the story—the story is everything a story should be. I came out of the theater having wept and cheered and bitten my nails and been thrilled with a number of the scenes. I came out of the theater happy, positive, thinking about life, thinking about what really matters.

    Look, if you enjoy musicals, if you enjoy dramas, if you enjoy Hugh Jackman of Wolverine fame, you must drop everything you’re doing right now and run to see this before it leaves the theaters. You’ll be so happy you did.

    And now, I’m going to figure out how I can go see it again.

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  • Good Stuff! News of the World and two for the Downton Abbey crowd

    I recently watched a move and two British TV mini-series that were just terrific.

    The movie is News of the World. It’s a Western set in 1870, starring Tom Hanks as Captain Jefferson Kyle Kidd, a former Confederate officer who makes a living traveling from town to town in Texas and reading newspapers to local residents for an admission fee of ten cents.

    After departing Wichita Falls, Kidd comes across an overturned wagon on the road and finds the driver, a black freedman, had been lynched. He also finds the stray, young white girl who only speaks Kiowa (the language of an American Indian tribe), that the freedman has been transporting.

    Kidd learns from the girl’s paperwork that she is Johanna Leonberger, who had been kidnapped and by Kiowa six years earlier. She doesn’t speak English. Doesn’t want to go with Kidd. But Kidd is tasked with getting her to safety. Of course there are all sorts of perils and issues along the way that threaten that goal.

    There’s suspense, action, drama, bad guys, and some poignant moments that will move your heart strings. If you like westerns or Tom Hanks, I think you’ll love this movie. It’s the best western I’ve seen in a long time.

    ***

    Those of you enjoyed Downton Abbey will be very happy to hear that Julian Fellowes, who was the executive producer for that series and wrote many of the episodes, is back and has written two more historical dramas with that same type of feel.

    The first is Dr. Thorne,a three-episode miniseries based on the novel by Anthony Trollope.

    It’s set in the late 1800s. Mary Thorne and Frank Gresham, the only son and heir of the squire of Greshamsbury, fall in love. However, Frank’s parents want him to marry wealth because they have very little to leave their son. Mary is penniless and of suspicious birth. She’s not anything at all that would help Frank in the world. And so the drama begins. You get to enjoy the historical setting, the manners, and romantic suspense.

    The second is Belgravia, a six-episode miniseries set in the 1800s and based on the novel by Julian Fellowes himself.

    For you geography buffs, Belgravia is an actual place, an affluent district of London. And the story set there is about two couples. The first, the Richmonds, are part of the aristocracy. The other, the Trenchards, are from the business class.

    The Richmond’s had one child, a son. The Trenchards had one child, a daughter. The two fell in love. But the son was killed in the battle of Waterloo. And the daughter died in childbirth. However, it was an illegitimate childbirth that the Richmonds don’t know about. The Trenchards thought it best, to retain the reputation of their daughter, to have someone else raise him.

    Twenty-five years later, however, both couples still feel the hole those deaths left in their hearts. Mrs. Trenchard feels it’s time to reveal the truth to the Mrs. Richmond. But it does not go as planned. Especially not when the Richmond’s nephew wants the Richmond’s inheritance and is willing to remove all obstacles in his path.

    It’s a story full of manners, heartbreak, suspense, hope, and, well, I won’t tell you the ending. But I will say that if you like these types of historical dramas, you’ll probably love this.

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  • Cranford, Balsamic Vinaigrette, Nebo Grotto Falls

    Cranford

    For those of you who love stories like Pride and Prejudice, have I got a TV mini-series for you—the BBC’s five-part Cranford.

    The series is set in the 1840’s in England in the fictional village in North West England and focuses primarily on a handful of the town’s single middle-class ladies who are forced to deal with lace-eating cats, marriage prospects, and prank valentines, as well as death, loss, and a changing culture. There are also two stories about the male inhabitants woven in as well—one about a new doctor and another about a young boy of the lower class who has a chance for something better.

    I will confess that when I saw this arrive in the Netflix envelope, I wasn’t at all excited. The cover’s too cold–all blue with a bunch of sour-looking women. In fact, I decided not to watch it. But the laughter of my wife and daughters lured me back upstairs to the TV, where it took about seven seconds for me to revise my earlier decision. The characters are delightful. In fact, some of their lines are such a joy to listen to, we had to rewind many parts to watch them again and again.

    The series is based on three novels by Elizabeth Gaskell, a British novelist, which were published between 1849 and 1858. The sets made us feel as if we where there. For example, one of the things I noticed was the lighting. Incandescent bulbs weren’t invented until the late 1800’s and took many more years to find their way into most houses. So the directors, instead of making it feel all Hollywood, seemed to rely heavily on the light at hand, as those inhabitants would have. When a scene was in a house, it felt as if they were only using the natural light coming in the windows or the candles being burned. Of course, this is just one of the many details that made this series an excellent period piece.  

    The best news of all is that I just found out there’s more–a two-part special called Return to Cranford. I can’t wait until it comes in the mail. Don’t let the cover fool you. This is a wonderful mini-series. It has poignant and sad moments, but is also full of humor and wit.  And the ending is perfect.   

    Kroger’s Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing

    I love balsamic vinegar and oil on bread. But I never think to make it. And I never thought of what else it might go with. That was until a relative left behind a bottle of Kroger brand Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing.

    I just happened have a homemade bagel handy, squirted out a bit onto a plate and dipped.  Lovely.  So then I tried it on salad and even splashed some on tomato or turkey sandwiches. It’s delicious. Only 80 calories for a whole tablespoon. In fact, it was so good we bought four more bottles because I don’t want to run out.

    Kroger, of course, is a grocery conglomerate. In Utah, it owns the Smith’s, and that’s where you’ll find this delight.

    Nebo Grotto Falls

    The mountains and canyons of Utah are literally desert oases. That’s where our clear streams run, the forests grow, and the wildlife congregates. In the summer, the canyons are a refreshing source for cooling winds. All this meant that, as I grew up, “forest” and “refreshing” became intertwined in my mind. Only when we moved to Ohio did I learn that some forests can also be muggy and hot and not at all refreshing to a desert boy perishing in the humidity.

    Because I love Utah’s canyons so much, we hike and walk them all throughout the summer.  We recently went down to enjoy the Stadium of Fire and the heat (yes, I love dry heat) in Provo. However, we didn’t just hang out in the city. We made time to hike a few trails in the surrounding canyons.

    We love Rock Canyon (just above the Mormon temple in Provo), Hobble Creek Canyon (Springville), as well as Mapleton and Santaquin canyons.  However, there’s another special place that you’ll want to visit should you find yourself in the Provo area. It’s a short little hike just off of S Canyon Road (also known as Nebo Loop Road) which runs from Payson south through the Mt Nebo Wilderness area to Highway 132.

    The trail head is just a few miles into the canyon south of Payson and is marked with a simple sign that says “Grotto.” There’s a little bit of parking on the side of the road. The hike is 0.6 miles along a wooded stream.  The grotto itself is more than worth it.  You can find directions here: http://www.utah.com/thingtodo27245.htm

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  • Where the Wild Things Were by William Stolzenburg

    I live among ranchers in northern Utah, people whose livelihood walks around on four legs. People who can lose thousands of dollars of future income if they lose one good cow or calf. People who think one of the dumbest things to happen in recent times in the West is the reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone. Now, I don’t agree with them, but I do think they have good cause.

    Contrary to what people will tell you, wolves do not kill just for food. Wolves kill because they like killing. If you don’t believe me, then believe Temple Grandin, an expert on animals, who asks the question in her Animals in Translation: “Is it fun to kill a groundhog?” 

    She reviews a number of studies done on animals and answers with an unequivocal yes, predators love to kill. In fact:

    “Animals like having their predatory killing circuits turned on, and will turn them on themselves if you show them how. When you think about what predatory killing is all about, of course it ought to feel good, because predatory killing means dinner. Killing a mouse feels good to a cat the same way finding a luscious ripe banana feels good to a primate.” (p138)

    What this means is that when wolves come to kill sheep, they don’t just kill one old and decrepit ewe. No, they do what they did on a neighbor’s land a few miles from my home. They maim and kill five or six. Not because two wolves were that hungry, but because it was fun and they could.

    Sheep are like popcorn to wolves. Compare them to elk or other wild animals. The reason why wolves tend to indeed eliminate the young, weak, and old in the wild is that those poor specimens tend to run a bit slower than their brethren. In the wild, slow means dead. For the wolf, it’s hard work to run down an elk or buffalo. And if you’re a hungry son-of-a-gun, you’re not going to go chasing after another dinner while there’s fresh meat in front of you because the rest of the pack will eat it before you get back. And you ain’t going to catch one on your own anyway. But sheep aren’t elk. Cattle aren’t elk. They’re bred for meat, not sprinting. Sheep are easy meat. And the wolves can’t help themselves.

    But even if the wolves exercise restraint and eat just one, that’s cash. That’s clothes for the kids. That’s a mortgage. That’s heat. And it’s a danger for children as well (adults I don’t worry about: who cares about a few devoured adults?). My girls like to hike. And while I’m sure wolves will usually stay away, a sick or starving wolf will risk humans just as sick and starving mountain lions do. You get a different mindset about predators when you live up where I do. When they’re not something you see caged up in the zoo or on PBS.

    For all these reasons and others, I couldn’t wait to read Where The Wild Things Were by William Stolzenburg. Folks, the book is fabulous–well-written and interesting from page one to the very end. The key point is that predators play a huge role in maintaining a healthy diversity of both plant and animal life in any given ecosystem. Stolzenburg begins with starfish and moves through otters, killer whales, jaguars, mountain lions, and wolves. Along the way he reveals just how important killing is.

    Yes, killing is critical to life as we know it.

    Because without it, the most dominant herbivores will end up eating all the food. And this will end up killing off most of the other herbivores. It will kill off the great variety of flora in any given system. It can turn a paradise into a hell as Stolzenburg illustrates with the islands of Lago Guri in Venezuela. 

    Of course, some people think the answer is to bring back all the big predators. The rewilding supporters want to populate the West not only with wolves, but also lions (African), jaguars, cheetahs. Heck, they salivate at the idea of giant Pleistocene bears that can run faster than a horse (yeah, I want one of those up where the Boy Scouts camp).  I think it’s good the wolves are back in Yellowstone. But I don’t want packs of wolves eating my friend’s herds and daughters (of course, maybe a few Boy Scouts are okay). Still, I believe there has to be another alternative. What that is I don’t know. But we all need to think about it. We do. And great way to start is by reading Stolzenburg’s book.

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4 Comments

  1. You can also check out Screenit.com which does something similar to KidsinMind.

    As far as movies goes I would recommend Stranger than Fiction.

  2. Agreeing with Nathan – Stranger than Fiction is really good. It’s about a guy who is the real life character of a novelist’s book. So he begins hearing her in his head and the things she says he will do happen. When he gets figures out she is going to try and kill his character off, he has to find her and stop her. That’s probably not a great description, but it also has a terrific cast of Will Farrell (doing a really good dramatic job), Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhall, Dustin Hoffman, and Queen Latifah. It is a drama that has some comedy to it, but it’s really well done. I’ll have to think on some suggestions, since I’m trying to assimilate your tastes, based on your list.

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